To have expected him to have said something?

[poorlytoe]

We had a date night planned as we both thought we needed to spend some quality time together so we bought some wine, agreed on a nice meal to have just us once the little ones had gone to bed which is 7:00.

Anyway about 6:50 just as I was upstairs getting the children ready for bed and looking forward to the evening we had planned, step son turned up baring in mind he is in his 20s and lives a 10 minute walk away, I assumed he wouldn’t stay long as Dh would probably say we had already made plans this evening but Dh said nothing while our plans went down the pan and stepson sat there until 10:15 before going home and all Dh could say was it wasn’t his fault as he didn’t know he was going to turn up.
AIBU to have thought he would have said something as we had plans?
I hadn’t bought enough ingredients for a date night for 3 so I didn’t end up cooking the salmon but Dh did open the wine and pour it 3 ways.

I am not sure cheesecake is relevant!

It provides context as to your frame of reference for what is and isn't the "norm" for people.

"Popping" to London to spend £19 on one slice of cheesecake is not what the average person considers normal, and shows you are quite out of touch with the average family.

I am very well read on the matter, happy to provide links.

I have nothing to be bitter about. I am married my parents are married - I have no first hand of experience of blended families to be bitter about.

It isn't what I normally spend on Cheesecake!

What's extreme? Genuine question.

It's 50 years of clinical and medical research.

Agreed, but it isn't opinion.

I wouldn't expect you to agree.

Sounds like SS is lonely

I didn't expect anybody in a blended family to actually come out and say "yeah blended families suck" because that would actually mean facing into the consequences of their decision.

It's much better to come out and say "yeah my Harvey adooooores his new Dad" rather than to admit it might not be the case.

Even the OP showed her true colors. At first it appeared she was just upset about date night - but 9/10 pages in came the stuff about the SS being weird and not having friends.

If this was her kid, this thread doesn't even exist!

If you want to tell me your blended family works then go for it, but the likelihood is it probably doesn't.

Like I said before, yes it does. Why are you being so argumentative? Who are you to tell me my lived experience is wrong?

I am not telling you.

Presumably, in that situation, the adult children would be gently pushed towards the big wide world that is out there and given some guidance on how to engage with it.

Not in so many words but you’re insinuating it and questioning it with your previous comments. Not sure why you’ve resurrected this when you’ve already made your snide comments the other day. You must either be very unhappy or just an attention seeking troll.

I have made my point.

So you have. Shame it’s wrong, eh?

I mean you have to say that don't you.

Right back at ya!

As I have said multiple times, there is 50 years of clinical research out there.

You were staying in, it’s not like you had arranged to go out, his children will always come before you.

100% agree with this.
If it was her biological child in a few years time she would not be on the internet berating him for having no friends and no life and she missed having her wine and Salmon because of it!!!

Blended families in my experience are never problem free and in my experience a disaster from the off set.

Of course you agree, because it's true.

But I do understand it would also have hit a nerve for others.

50 years of clinical research to show my life isn’t true? Fabulous!

I am not here to convince anybody, if you are happy with your decisions then that's all that matters for you.