AIBU to object after he assumed he and his daughter would move in?

[Trombolice]

Name changed for this.

Been seeing someone for around a year and a half. This morning he casually dropped it into conversation that his daughter might have to move schools when they move. I asked where he was moving to and he said “I mean when we move in together?”

I said “who said anything about moving in together??” So he said “well not now obviously but at some point we will surely?” So I said “and where are you assuming we’ll live?”

Long story short he had it in his head that he and his daughter would be moving in to my house. His rationale is that I have “so much more space” and much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.

I said I have no intention of having anyone live with me! He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

I think he has got his daughter believing they will be moving in to my house too. They live in a two bedroom house.

AIBU??

How old is the dd?

sorry off topic but Is it trombolice in the song? And what even is that? I've been singing tramboline (!?) Or Tr Anne Boleyn (and I have no idea what that even means either)

Sounds like this cock lodger was testing the waters. I’m glad you burst that bubble.

Men are cheeky little things these days aren’t they!

Sorry - but how is she supposed to handle it when he is talking about his daughter changing schools before they have even discussed living together - not to mention the presumption of having a tantrum and calling OP "selfish" for not automatically agreeing to "share" the property she'd paid for without discussion.

It's 'strong beliefs'...

I have a family member who has been with their 'girlfriend' for over 20 years and they've never lived together (and don't want to). They like their own space. They stay over each other's houses often but always have their own days and time too.

It is very presumptive of him! I'd be worried he is after you for your wealth/ home.

When I married my (now ex) husband I signed over a portion of my house to him as a demonstration of my love and commitment but insisted - vigorously - that he keep his own 'house' even though he had knocked it down and had not at that time started to rebuild. He was not happy about it.
However, once married his alcoholism restarted and accelerated to unacceptable levels. He said, " We're married now so I can do exactly as I want."
I divorced him and bought back his share; it was easier because he still had somewhere to go. He's in a nursing home now, with alcohol induced dementia and fees of £3500 pcm which I do not have to pay.
Things go tits-up, marriages fail. Protect your future and your assets.

If that was the case, why wouldn't he say that when the OP was taken aback, rather than focussing on her spare bedrooms and selfishness?

Yes, ‘moving in together’ discussions involves who moves where. Ie. Does op move to where dp lives so child doesn’t have to move schools etc, not one party unilaterally decides, but fortunately this is a hypothetical situation.

Oh wonderful. Free housing for him and his daughter as there's no mortgage to pay? Next he'll want put on the deeds.

Repeat...run.

Tbh thinking about living together after 1 1/2 years together isn’t unreasonable however he should have bought it up in a how do you feel about living together conversation. Is he usually a little clumsy with his conversations?

She does get something in return...looking after his daughter, paying the mortgage, doing the cleaning ,doing the washing and having the great honour of riding his willie !

I’ve just read the thread recommended on page one or two. Humbling stuff!

Omg he wants to live rent free be a cocklodger. Get rid of him.

Indeed. What an honour. How could she turn that down?!

Funny, but so true!

I think it’s natural for him to consider moving in together but stropping off would make me re-think the relationship. Cheeky!

There are assumptions and there are cheeky fuckers. This one is the latter. Evidenced by him stomping off in a strop when OP didn’t immediately fall in with his plans.

Cockfosters. Ask him how he thinks finances would work?

No! This is a buy new locks and a ring doorbell situation! Plus a big dog and a moat filled with sharks.

Reread the op there is nothing clumsy about calling her selfish for owning too big a home and not just accepting he'll be moving in to her house with no prior discussion and being annoyed that he'd already promised his daughter that it was happening.
It wasn't a fumble on words it was just pure entitlement that he thinks he has the right to live in her house and that op should just become his child step mother with no prior conversation, just that she should accept it's happening because he decided so, now he's stropped because she said no

Nah, just dump him, who cares about his thoughts?

Are you going to keep dating the tantruming Tromboleece OP?

A while back I was getting to know someone & he was asking me questions about mortgage/bills etc.

I could see the cogs turning in his head trying to work out if he was going to get a good deal. Not proud that I was actively trying to avoid/fudge his line of questioning at that point.

I don’t think he even liked me never mind found me attractive, just thought he had found somewhere cheap to live. How wrong was he 😂

Crocodiles are better than sharks as they have better range. And maybe add a trebuchet or two? 🤔