AIBU to object after he assumed he and his daughter would move in?

[Trombolice]

Name changed for this.

Been seeing someone for around a year and a half. This morning he casually dropped it into conversation that his daughter might have to move schools when they move. I asked where he was moving to and he said “I mean when we move in together?”

I said “who said anything about moving in together??” So he said “well not now obviously but at some point we will surely?” So I said “and where are you assuming we’ll live?”

Long story short he had it in his head that he and his daughter would be moving in to my house. His rationale is that I have “so much more space” and much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.

I said I have no intention of having anyone live with me! He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

I think he has got his daughter believing they will be moving in to my house too. They live in a two bedroom house.

AIBU??

Do not think people don't play the long game. Both my cousin (married for ten years until their spouse got citizenship) and divorced the following year. My former close friend, again targeted, put both his DC through private school then she was dumped. Now he's going for a divorce and claiming half her multi million pound assets. He's claiming his son ( at university) needs housing by her too!
My late father used to call this type of man a Ponce. Fwiw I earn five times my DH and he asks for nothing from me.
Please be careful.

What, so he's going to spend the next 6-10 years sitting in a rented house until you let him move in? Full of aspirations, isn't he?!

I hope you now have major ick and tell him to find someone else to ponce off! (Thank you @Dorothyperky , that's a good word for these men.)

You have to ask yourself at a certain age what are you each bringing to the table?

Oh OP, I can tell you’re upset, and understandably so, but your post genuinely made me laugh, so thank you for that. I’ve been divorced for over five years and haven’t dated since, but if I ever do, I already know I wouldn’t want to live with someone again. I’d absolutely want my own space.

Since you haven’t discussed this with him yet, I can see how he might have assumed living together was a possibility. But for him to jump straight to calling you “selfish” or saying it’s “not fair” that you have a big house? That’s ridiculous.

I’m not sure what you’ll ultimately decide, but if you want my honest opinion: I’d say… get rid.

So it is. Just googled the lyrics and trombolice.

I was so invested in those two threads…. I hope the OP comes back and starts another thread with further updates

Mumsnet we need an alarm-cock emoji for these CF CLogers

Me too.
I’m dreading it’s like a tv series that is cancelled and leaves you hanging there

He moves in saying he will do all these things. Then mask slips and he relaxes and you are left being his maid etc. He won't move out.
Easy to say what he's gonna do. But reality could be a lot more complicated.

Oh yes, there will be plenty of, "We're a family now, so you should want to cook, clean, taxi, do the parenting, give up your weekends, not see your friends because DD needs you, blah , blah, blah."

Wtaf? Urgh I can't stand it when someone makes assumptions and then starts complaining that the other person doesn't comply with them. It's so so self absorbed it's off the charts. This would put me off the relationship.

He saw you coming, OP

Big red flags for me here. Does he live you or want to be a cocklodger?

It's not too late to run...

Not quite. Op had the foresight to ask him where he was moving to, when he mentioned about moving, and then halted the moving in conversation, rather discussing it as a possibility.

Gold plated Thrombolice Op?

It's not the assumption that the relationship might progress to this someday, it's the air of resentment he clearly has about you and your larger home. Which you occupy alone. It'd give me the absolute ick.

YANBU
A big house in the middle of nowhere all to yourself.. sounds idelic, I wouldn’t want anyone moving in with me in your position either.

What a cheeky bastard!

So he automatically assumed he would get to live in your house?! That's utterly bonkers OP. He seems the type to expect to be written into your will or something.

There is a wankiest things your ex has done thread and I can see 'calling me selfish for wanting to live alone in my own house' would fit right in.

I thought he would ask to be put on the deeds of OP's house.

@Trombolice I'm sorry you're feeling upset now.

Please hold onto the fact you made the right decision to end things with him.

Relationship ending behaviour here. To be so presumptuous and entitled and then to bully you and call you names when he can't get his way. Definitely get rid

Yeh, selfish isnt how you tell someone you love them and want to move in. Telling you you are selfish isnt going to endear you to him! Bonkers

Has he said what he is planning to contribute to the living situation? It is coming across like a cocklodger situation unfortunately.

Oh wow op he’s a keeper where do these guys come from you have your own place and had your time as mum why would you be expected to start all over he obviously wants to be a cocklodger are you telling him to jog on?. I don’t blame you for not wanting this. Cheeky bugger.

Well at least the guy looks after his own kid, unlike most men who palm that responsibility off to the mothers. Like it or not that is true.

Sure the bloke sounded 'entitled' in the concise version that OP has given us; yet mostly conversations have more words, emotions and meanings than can be described so easily.

You either like the guy or you don't. You can see a future together or you don't. It's your mind to decide no one else's.