First meal out with son’s wife’s parents and they let us pick up the whole bill.

[50sandFabulous]

What would you make of this? Son got married recently. Obviously, we have met his parents. However, we have never been out with them before.

The other day we met for lunch, there were six of us there in total. I had said to my husband that we should pay for the whole thing just as a nice gesture.

We went up to the bar at some point and paid for the whole tab. No one knew that we had done this.

When it was time to leave, everybody just left the restaurant and absolutely nobody queried about the bill. Is this not a bit mad?

So basically, we have paid for everybody (which we were always going to do), but there has been no acknowledgement from anybody about the fact that the bill has been paid and absolutely no thank you. I just find this really really weird!

I was expecting somebody to say, oh we need to get the bill, and then I would have said don’t worry it’s covered, but that did not happen!

I think it’s a nice gesture with people you know very well.

With people you don’t know so well, you should have let the bill arrive and offered to pay. It’s a bit strange paying in secret in this scenario.

If it was your intention to pay for it all from the get go - you should have made it clear to everyone at the start.

Although I think it’s very strange for people to just get up and not even query what’s happening with the bill. Very aloof.

Why SHOULD her parents pay?! Why can’t the couple pay or at least the question be “did the married couple thank you?”?

DH went up to the bar to pay because the table service was shockingly bad.

Wow just wow. I hope she's made up for it since?

I think they think you think you are very grand and it pisses them off op.

Their issue. (Though keep in mind my warning about the card in the post!)

This seems odd and if they had known you had paid then rather rude of them.

However I am wondering if you son had said something about my parents always pay, even if just to his partner, and this had then got back to her parents. Even so the point of being rude not to acknowledge it still stands.

It really rude that no one thanked you - and very odd. I wouldn’t be happy with my son either for not thanking you. I wouldn’t be offering to meet them again in a hurry.

The next time, I’d just sit there until the bill arrives and then do nothing.

@Calliopespa I honestly think that their DD and the OP's son told them that Mum and Dad always pay....which is why I think that @50sandFabulous needs to stop doing that!

You do usually say ‘thank you for dinner’ as you’re saying your goodbyes. It’s basic decency if someone has paid for your meal.

Ah so you missed the chance to present the grand gesture?

Perhaps your son told them and perhaps they were embarrassed

Oh I've had friends like that in the past. I used to be a right mug. My cousin who was also my best friend, she'd just get up and walk out after we'd eaten out. I always had to take care of it, and I had next to no money back then. I'd go out with her for a treat, keep my meal very light and cheap, and she'd pull that, every time. She was well off. We no longer speak.

I just can't buy the "but they might be short of money". Then don't agree to dinners! It's staggering that they didn't query what their share was, even if they'd clocked you paying and knew it would cost them nothing. At least pretend to offer to pay! But to just swan out?

I was always taught to pay my way, or stay at home if I can't afford something.

Are you serious? Are you honestly asking why parents should contribute something to their daughters wedding? You don't think it is strange that they paid for nothing at all?

How very LEFT of you. Yawn. 🥱

Surely it’s fairly obvious that someone saw you paying? Unless you think all four of them, your son included, thought they would just walk out without paying?

They should have thanked you. As should your son.

They are cheeky fuckers but so are the son and daughter! Who doesn’t asking about paying.

But also, it was weird just to go & secretly pay instead of just asking for the bill & talking about it like adults.

I can't imagine having such a fragile ego that someone paying for me would get me all rubbed up the wrong way. I'd just say thank you and be pleased!

It would be the last time I paid for any of them. Rude fuckers.

I agree, it’s the doing it sneakily that makes it patronising.

Bloody Rude. Never pay for any of them again, including your Son and DIL.

I have already covered this. The table service was shocking, we could not get anybody to come to the table. So my husband went up to the bar.

Well I don't know. There's also the wafting of the credit card "This one's on us" routine - which of course forces a thank you.

@Anarchy99 But why didn't they say thank you? Embarrassment wouldn't prevent that.

Mind you, all four of them (parents, DD and the OP's son) sound short on manners.

Yes, I hate it when people sneakily pay for me, those bastards!