AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

[brillfrill]

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

It’s ok to check about a hat with the bride or those close to the bride! Not the dress!

We obviously move in very different circles!

I've never been to a wedding where women dressed the same as they do at Royal Ascot, and I would have felt incredibly out of place in any of those outfits.

The last wedding I've been to where women wore hats must be over 20 years ago.

Some people's idea of "formal" wedding attire is very different to others', which is why threads like this are always difficult to answer.

Edit to add: sorry, I've just seen you said ignore the hats, but the rest of my post still stands.

If it's a 'formal' wedding then it's floor length, no?

No floor-length is black/white tie or evening gowns.

I think floor-length would look very odd in the day. More like the bride than a bit of white ...

Agree about the DD/bridesmaid.

You are working on 'society formal'.
Most of the rest of the world are not.

I wouldn’t risk wearing anything white personally.
Why risk it.

There are so many other colours out there.

I’d hate to be seen as the person trying to overshadow the bride, even if it’s not intentional.

I’ve looked on Vinted, would you say all these are ok?

Firstly, it's only the jersey maxi I mentioned. Secondly, it's jersey fabric. It's just about ok for a garden party, but I'd not be turning up to a really smart do with a garish print jersey dress.

@Loubissou Never heard of society formal! I’m posting smart formal daywear for a wedding. Most people don’t understand how to put a look together and think any old dress will do. A formal dress code for a wedding is no different from dressing for the races - except maybe the hat. I know people don’t understand the difference between a shapeless work or casual dress, but that doesn’t make me wrong!

I think some of those dresses would be fine for a wedding - though the pink ensemble looks like bad home dressmaking to me! A sewing machine in the kitchen for the youngest DD and Mum shouting not to pour the coloured cordial near it!

Floor-length would be way OTT. It reminds me of a new girl at my school who wore what can only be described as a gown out of a musty theatre wardrobe to a school home clothes day: we were all in jeans and trainers. She was a sweet girl and I felt desperately embarrassed for her. I even wondered if they had hired it or if it was just something from her granny's closet she had always fancied.

But anyway, over-dressing is as bad as under imo, and I THINK Op's is probably ok if it is chiffon and nicely accessorised, but why on earth is she not posting the actual dress??

It's been around for over half a century, I'd say. It seems like it first came into being when brides began wearing a white bridal gown instead of just their best dress that they re-wore, and became stronger over the decades.

Of course, some regions do seem to adhere to it much more strictly than others, but my grandmother, who would've been in her nineties if she was still alive, never would've worn white to a wedding. And neither would anyone else I know.

I would say no, they all look far too bridesmaidy.
You specifically said that there aren't going to be flower girls at your brother's wedding.
But by dressing your daughter in a very obviously bridesmaidy dress, it will definitely look as if you are trying to insert her into the wedding party.

I'm in the wear what you like camp but these are a touch bridesmaid-y. I know you said they aren't having flower girls, so might not matter - just run it past them. Say DD has picked out a few, are these too close to 'wedding party', would you prefer I picked something else.

Tbh on here all you'll mostly get is people telling you you're the devil incarnate for not wearing what they would choose - best off asking the bride & groom directly

What is it about them that makes them look bridesmaidy?

I'd imagine you are going to be near the bride in a lot of the photos and it'll look awful next to a white wedding dress so I'd pick something else if that's the case.

Children can really wear what they want but they will look like they are part of the bridal party so if your SIL would be annoyed by that then pick something else.

Well they are more glam than yours! I think some of those are flower girl dresses op.

I genuinely get why you want your little girl in a dress like that because I understand it would have been lovely if the bride had asked her to be a flower girl.

But she hasn't ...

I suppose the two shorter ones with sandals could be ok? But the satiny sheen is quite flower-girly. What fabric is that longer blue one?

The formal styling, the design, the colour.
I think your dress will be absolutely fine though.

All of those are very close to white, OP, and as PP has said, very flower girl. It's as if you're trying to get as close to white colour and bridal party as possible! I'd look for a stronger pastel purple, blue, or green, with a floral print perhaps. A pp linked a lovely blue dress further back in the thread.

Agree - at my own wedding I couldn't tell you what anyone except the bridesmaids and I wore. I'd probably have clocked if someone else turned up in an actual wedding dress, but other than that I was just glad everyone had made the effort to come and celebrate with us.

I would genuinely hate to be held hostage to a life where what people wore mattered so much.

For irish weddings people do dress same as they would for Royal Ascot of for ladies day at the races , it would also be very common for people to wear hats etc - Hat hire is huge here in Ireland
If it was a family wedding people will go all out
Adding some links here for shops for wedding outfits -
Wedding Guest Dresses – Pure Boutique
Wedding Guest – Fusion Fashion
Wedding outfits are very glam

As you asked. That dress is very old fashioned. The neckline, length and skirt detail are very 2000's. But it's not the actual dress so it's hard to say if the dress you are wearing is similar.

Mostly the satiny fabric and the very pooofed out skirts.

I think your dress is fine (and doesn’t look too informal to me) but there’s a risk your DD might look like a flower girl, or look like you’re trying to make her look like one? Probably best to check with the bride

They are quite flouncy i would probably not, have her wear something else,

I’d go for the second one - the pale blue one without the flower.
It’s nice, and it fits their pastel colour request (although generally speaking I hate requests for specific colours for guests, and think the bride and groom need to get over themselves).

I thought the little blue Mayoral dress was rather sweet too.