AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

[brillfrill]

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

Not in a dress like the OP posted they don't. It's understated and no way would upstage the bridge

I got married in a lilac and silver dress, didn't forbid others from wearing lilac

Going to leave this thread before I either punch the screen or buy half the dresses I keep finding and do not need 🤣

One last suggestion from Roman, OP. It's wedding guest standard, chiffon, meets colour specifications, available in all sizes and reduced to £40.

https://www.roman.co.uk/floral-midi-wrap-dress-14683372

It really doesn't. People only interpret completely normal dresses that way if they are determined to judge everyone by their own silly opinions.

Not one of those dresses would make anyone remotely normal think the wearer was doing anything other than wearing a nice and suitable dress.

Urgh, shitty Shein is never the answer.

I can see you have tried hard to take everything on board and I think those last two work perfectly well.

I think the SIL battle is because the first post came across as "DD is not the flower girl but will wear white and I will wear a white dress with pattern but I'm not showing you how much pattern or what colour." In other words: "I want my DD and I to be in white. Please rubber stamp this."

In fact, I think the last two dresses are really, really not accurately described as white dresses. You can get white dresses with such a faint or fine pattern that the overall effect is white but those are definitely not that.

the DD thing is tricky because little girl dresses veer towards flower girl but when you said white I think many of us thought it was a sort of dress you and DM had bought "for when DD is the flower girl" and you were going to press on and wear it anyway!

That one on the right is as white as the OP 😂

I appreciate the OP, and many other people who wear a white patterned dress to a wedding are not necessarily trying to upstage the bride. However, there are a large number of brides who wouldn't like it. If you get on, why would you risk upsetting the bride. We don't know if the bride would be ok or not, and the only way to find out is to ask her, which only OP can do. So she has 3 choices, wear the dress and risk it, ask the bride or her brother if the dress is ok, or find another.

I wouldn't be offended by it, but its not my wedding. Looks like OP is trying other options. For better help, I would start a post on the style section, just say looking for a dress for £30-40 for a family wedding, formal wedding attire, dress size and body shape, and I am sure the wizards there will find lots of options, on vinted or elsewhere!

Some of the dresses suggested as more glamorous etc are much more “look at meee “ than the ones OP has suggested but there have been some great suggestions for similar ones without the white background.

They’ve actually specified formal dress…
That doesn’t really fit the brief.
Also you say they’re not having flower girls, which is all the more reason not to dress your little girl as one.

It’s bonkers.
Her dress is too informal, her DDs dress is too formal.
When in reality nobody will give a shiny 💩 nor remember what they were wearing.
OP stick with your choices and have a lovely day

Do brides really take that much or any notice of what guests wear at their wedding? I've been married twice and I seriously wouldn't have a clue what guests wore. It really was not on my radar either time

No of course not because we both know it isn't a thing. However I think there seems to be this crazy obsession now with what female guests are wearing that I don't recall whenI got married 19 years ago.

Well it has definitely gone too far on this thread!

Those are not white dresses in the sense that is going to upset a bride.

Nor mine, but I have heard of brides getting offended or upset, and there are enough comments here to show some wouldn't like it. There have also definitely been cases of MIL wearing very extravagant bridal style dresses to get attention and make the day a little about them. I think there was also some history about not wearing red or green to weddings (scarlet woman/jealousy maybe? Not sure on details).

Doesn't seem like that is OP's intention at all, its just a dress she likes without spending more money! But there is an element of risk to wearing a white background dress, unless cleared by the bride first.

It's a shame that's how it is now.

I had no idea about the red dress thing. I wore a red dress to my BIL's wedding 20 years ago when I was still his brother's girlfriend!!!

These dresses are fine especially as your dd is niece of the groom and only young. Avoid white for yourself.

Wow! Snotty cow! I’ve had crap I’ve sent back but also some fabulous stuff that was well made. Some people at my wedding thought my dress was from Monsoon wedding collection. I tried a number of expensive dresses and chose my Shein one cos it looked and felt incredible. I have plenty of money so cost was not a factor. I’m not poor but also not a snob 🤣

Then again, they might just be thinking 'This is a nice dress, it's not bridal-looking, I'll wear it to X's wedding.' 🙄And those attending said wedding might not be narrow-minded and judgemental enough to be assessing the other guests on whether their outfits are too pale.

I don't know if this has ever occurred to you, but some brides actually don't care what colour their guests turn up in, because their presence is what matters, not a dress code. It never even occurred to me to think about what colours my wedding guests were wearing, I was just happy to have my family and friends around me. Which isn't to say that people who set dress codes for their weddings aren't, merely that different people celebrate their marriages in different ways. Who'd have thought it?!

Also, ask yourself this - does anyone sneer at and shame men if they happen to choose the 'wrong' colour to attend a wedding in? No, they don't. Do you not think it's a bit sad that women are still doing this to each other in 2026?

Same! It literally never occurred to me!

What size are you OP? I've got a cream linen dress with red and green flowers in a size 12 which is definitely suitable for a wedding that I can send you if you think it will fit? It has a red bolero (size 8) and a red bag to go with it. I've been meaning to put it on vinted for years but never get round to it.

It looks very pretty. I only learned about the 'only the bride wears white' rule from mumsnet. I think I wore white to weddings a couple of times in my 20s. I was wholly oblivious and I hope it didn't cause any bad feeling. I am cringing about it now 3 decades on!

Not worth potentially upsetting your SIL for though? Or is it? You seem so determined to wear something questionable to her wedding. As another person said, there is a 50/50 chance it won't go down well. So why do it?

@brillfrill this dress is really nice. And it doesn’t look cheap even though it’s apparently chiffon. So maybe it depends on the cut rather than the material.

Have ordered this now.

What a nightmare this thread turned into!!

Thank you @StartingToday010626 and @SomeGarlic and @ScotiaLass for your kind offer 💕

Does me wearing this take some pressure off what DD ends up wearing?

That's gorgeous! What about having your little girl in orange to coordinate? There's some orange dresses in the shops this summer

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/smocked-square-neck-dress-orange-55101440010.html

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su986955/g76648?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=7971580444&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UVpVMBfnpUFZtNQV9LE1MGpa&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_vnQBhCxARIsADcZyxIRuU07Qj-wcttYQpkN8iNuCpbSmCuwo9HTJcufQYQhAjp7JjPP-P4aAvNeEALw_wcB

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/broderie-pleated-cotton-dress-orange-55101740010.html

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su864111/y14004?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20176314606&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UWC55jI1ZUez6aUijWizEiyq&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_vnQBhCxARIsADcZyxLvA-RcqDLIPnPLpsU3LoKVHRI_M4a1y6T_WqTecq6cWdIoYCSO4LQaApn5EALw_wcB