AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

[brillfrill]

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

So much projection.

It looks nothing like that at all. Pastel was a suggestion and we don't know what OP's actual dress main colour is. Formal in a wedding context means to me normal wedding clothes which is what the dress shared is. Nobody in a normal frame of mind reads passive aggression into a 4 year old going to a wedding in a party dress.

Pp are thinking you are annoyed DD wasn't a flower girl and you are going to dress her as one regardless.

I think white would look like this and some of the more elaborate satiny dresses did come across this way.

And I think some feel yours looks as though you are not making a big effort - but then we haven't actually seen yours. ETA I actually think what you have posted is acceptable.

But in all of this there are happy mediums. The cotton play dresses and floor length gown suggested are as inappropriate in the other directions imo.

Why don't you post your actual dress? You might get a clearer view then.

Deflection noted.

You're awfully mad that opinions about your clothing choices for you and your daughter for your bro's formal evening wedding aren't all that approving.

Why bother asking then? Wear what you want, look like someone who does what they please and screw the bride and groom.

Are you being serious?? Thanks to all the comments in there I’ll change the dress for DD, so CLEARLY the point of asking was to get help and almost everybody said white for DD would be odd!

it’s more split on mine, still a lot of opinions and thoughts being shared. Wtf is your problem?!

They’re too bridesmaidy. The monsoon dresses that someone posted are both prettier and more suitable.
The dress you initially posted for yourself looks fine to me, there’s enough colour to make it okay and you can have coloured accessories.
Some of the formal wear suggested would stand out too much at the weddings I have attended, although it depends on the type of wedding.

I think not posting your dress is making people suspect it is whiter than it might in fact be. We aren't really sure ...

I can understand the issue with DD. The Monsoon dresses are sweet enough, but I'd want something more special for a family wedding. Maybe the Monsoon sequin one was my favourite?

I think we all know that wearing white to a wedding is unacceptable. So why start being picky and saying it is white but there are flowers on it? No. Why can’t you find a dress that is in one of the infinitesimal colours of the spectrum? Same goes for your daughter. You know it’s not right, that’s why you’re asking for opinions. You want to know how much trouble you will be in when you and your daughter turn up. Are you really going to be THAT SIL? Be honest you don’t like who your brother is marrying.

No one needs to specify ‘ No White’ on a wedding invitation. I think everyone on the planet knows this already. They have given you suggested colours, pick one of them.

Well, no. They're not.

How hard is it to pick a dress that is not white-based? You'd think the minute the invitation arrives all colours of the rainbow vanish from the planet.

It is putting the bride intio a potentially difficult situation to ask her - she might dislike your ideas but find it hard to say so to new family mermber, so make your own decision OP, and make it a colourful one for you and DD. Do you like your DB and new SIL?

It isn't hard at all. It's also completely unnecessary when hundreds of dresses exist in that colour palette im wedding guest style because they are completely unremarkable as choices.

OP Ignore 99% of what people are saying on this thread. Your dress will be great at the wedding. It's super pretty and it looks good on you. I was recently shamed into buying a very expensive dress for a wedding when I'd been planning to wear something less formal that I already had, that I preferred, and that no one at the wedding would have seen before. Arg! Nix the white dress for the DD, but get her something lovely and shiny that she'll be excited to wear. Have a wonderful time.

Why are you assuming it's an evening do - most weddings aren't surely?

Nowhere in the OP's posts have I picked up vibes of "screw the bride and groom". If she really wanted to do that why on earth would she be worrying at all about whether her choices are suitable?! Even her own mother (mother of the groom) has approved her choices already so it's not as if they're wildly wrong.

This kind of wild overreaction and psychological examination of a few very normal dresses is just so weird

From the number of defensive posts, I am guessing you have worn white to someone's wedding/many weddings...

A bit odd to say it looks good on me, I haven’t posted myself wearing it? Whatever I wear - this dress or a different one - it won’t be expensive. But thank you for sharing your story

It is very recent that this idea any hint of white is a terrible faux pas has come in.

It's been a terrible faux pas for as long as I've been alive, and I am old as dirt.

My daughter doesn’t like pink or red

Blue, green, peach, yellow, gold, purple, silver, orange, violet……..

HTH.

Wrong. Other than my own wedding dress, one jumper and school shirts back in the day I've never worn anything white. I personally don't like white or any really pale colours on me.

But I find the concept that women who might not be massively confident in their choices anyway being told to tie themselves in knots and consider anything with a pale background even with a strong floral pattern to be offensive, when it's a totally normal wedding guest dress, to be really unpleasant.

And anyone who looks at a dress like that on someone at a wedding and projects this idea that they must be wearing to make a point to be masiely insecure themselves and trying to bring others down.

Thank you.

It is both day and evening, like most weddings… there is a ceremony, 3 course meal/reception, evening party.

@brillfrill If I was looking for a dress for my 4 year old DD, I'd probably choose this one from Monsoon. I think it's gorgeous (& it's 50% off too!)
https://www.monsoon.co.uk/dancer-floral-basque-party-dress-multi-55800970020.html

Perhaps they don't like new SIL. Its coming over that way.

Apologies! I thought the photo you shared was of you wearing the dress.

Yeah, it definitely is. That's why when DH's sister wore a mainly white dress to our wedding I was furious and assumed it meant she hated me and was trying to ruin my Big Day.

Or, alternatively I thought nothing of it whatsoever other than she was wearing a nice dress she was happy in given that I'm not a massive twat constantly trying to ascribe malice to ordinary actions

Haha, that makes a lot of sense then, she does look absolutely fabulous!!