Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

[CheeseSandwich1]

What the title says really!

DC’s Dad and I aren’t together. He moved 30 minutes away and now lives in the countryside.
He expects me to drive to his new home but it’s very hilly and is in the arse end of nowhere, I really don’t feel comfortable driving there in my small car. For reference his own Mum also won’t drive there in her small car.

I also really don’t like motorway driving in my car as I feel nervous as it’s so small and I have to put my youngest in the front seat rear facing. This means anywhere the children need to go that includes motorway driving DC’s Dad has to take them.

I can’t afford to upgrade my car at the moment.

DC’s Dad thinks I’m being unreasonable about driving but he has a huge car (I would feel safe if I had his car as the children are all in proper car seats in the middle of back of the car).

AIBU?

I’m sorry you’ve also been left in a shit situation too.

Thank you for your kind words though, I’ll try to be more positive.

As long as the kids are supported why should you get bought a big car? It’s not up to your ex to buy you what you want

sorry I’m sounding a bit blunt. I do feel
for you and splitting up is hard but we each have to cut our cloth accordingly. I had cheaper cars for a while while my ex had brand new 4x4s. I just cracked on with it and now have the better cars.

It sounds like you need some more driving lessons

I drive all over the place in my little Kia picanto. I love it, and it's far better for country lanes than some hulking great truck of a car

He should be doing at least half the driving as he has chosen to move though

Your car is safe. There are prams that fit in fiat 500s.were you married?

You're welcome. And, you'll get there. Everyone is entitled to have moments where they want a rant and want to blame someone.

No. Because I’m an idiot who had children (who I absolutely love dearly) without being married in my early 20’s to a dickhead 20 years older than me.

30 minutes is no distance at all. I honestly can't see your issue. Unless it's is actually about your divorce/separation. That would be understandable, and you would be better just saying that.

But if you read, the issue is that the OP chose to use her ex's address to get her son into a "better" school. Her ex moving allowed her to do this, but didn't actually cause the need for all this driving.

Our family home was in a good area with good schools.

Where I had to move to is inner city and a bit rough and the schools are shocking.

Where he lives has very good schools, the best in our county.

I’m hopeful my confidence in driving will improve and I’ll be able to get myself a bigger car in the future. I didn’t want to ruin my children’s education because I’m too scared to drive.

Op were you married to your ex? Was there a divorce settlement, I’m confused why you seem to be so much worse off financially than him so much so that you have had to move away and now use your ex’s address for the kids school? Yep being a woman with majority care of small kids IS unfair but life isn’t always fair. Does he pay cms and for extracurriculars for the kids? I don’t think he is responsible for funding a new car for you tbh.

I wasn’t married to him. As I said above I was 22 when we met and he’s 20 years older than me. I had 2 children in my early 20’s which meant I was out of work for basically 3/4 years as I had really difficult pregnancies.

He had a company and pays himself minimum wage and takes dividends.

He claims he makes minimum wage to CMS. It’s a fucking joke. He lives in a huge fucking house, lovely car and holidays etc. I fucking hate him.

It's 30 minutes. Barely registers on the trip-o-meter in my book.

Why don't you get a different car if you feel it is so unsafe? Why does he have to get you it?

This still doesn’t explain why you have to drive your dc over to his house when it was his choice to move. 🤔
Why exactly do you need to drive your dc to his house? Is it for his access times? If so, he needs to come and collect them. Is it to take them to school? If so, then it baffles me why you’ve put them in a school that’s not really suitable for you. Your local schools can’t be that bad surely? Let’s hope no one finds out you’ve manipulated the school catchment system to falsely get a place at the school. Spurned school mums can be the worst 😬

Because I’ve been left completely ruined financially

30 minutes? If you think that’s a unreasonable driving distance should you even be driving?

Fiat 500 are four seaters, so quite how you drove with four DC, let alone all the luggage, I do not know.

Yes. The schools in my area are that bad. It’s fucking rough.

And people rear face kids in 3 door cars all the time.

If by hilly you mean Hardknott or Wrynose passes, you certainly aren't being unreasonable - I struggled over those in a 1600cc car!

Ah apologies I didn’t see your previous post about your marital status. Yes your ex sounds selfish, he should at the very least be paying you the correct cms amount on his actual earnings but as he is self employed that can be tricky to prove. You will have to work hard to get your life back on track. It will be difficult but I believe you can do this. Are you working at the moment. Are you receiving all benefits you are entitled to?

Imo fiat 500 is a normal car and a 30 minute drive is a short drive. So I don't get this post at all OP I must admit

He lives about 100m from a national park. It’s literally in the arse end of nowhere with super sharp twists and turns. As I said his mum also won’t drive to his new home.

I’m getting back into work. I really hope I get my life back on track. I just sit and cry all day.

But it’s okay to live there 🤔
Let’s hope you’re not looked into for falsely claiming your dc live elsewhere, their school place can be revoked 🤷‍♀️
But again, why do you need to drive them to his house?