AIBU to think a younger partner could genuinely find Justin Fletcher attractive?

[LittleRobins]

Justin Fletcher (AKA Mr Tumble) has been in the news recently as the media have discovered he is with his co-star who is 21 years younger than him. I say good for them both and I hope they are happy.

There are so many comments however about her only being with him because of his money. I realise for certain people this would be an attractive prospect but I don’t understand why it’s so hard to believe a younger woman would find him attractive? I’m a similar age to her and if I was single I would date him, regardless of his money. I think he seems like a genuinely lovely, talented, hard-working man who is great with children and has done a lot for kids with special needs. That would be attractive to a lot of people. If I was with him I’d be happy to live in a small house and for him to leave his money to a children’s charity if he so wished.

So AIBU and naive to think there are others out there with a similar mindset to myself? I recognise there are gold-diggers out there but in this case I think Justin has a lot going for him even without his bank balance?

It is gross, he’s 20+ years older than her, there is a power imbalance. I’m not talking about his ball sack.

Statistically, you go into an age gap relationship with much higher odds of those things happening. Why do it? That’s why everyone is saying she’s after the money, because even if he was a great catch (I don’t know if he is or not) it doesn’t change the fact he’s much older than her which is clearly far from ideal.

You sound like a 5 year old talking about being kissed in the playground.

There's no power imbalance between a 34 year old and someone in his 50's. If she was 18, you might have a point.

Why do you care what my acceptable age gap is? This thread is about a 21 year old age gap. It’s a pretty black or white question, it’s too much. I disagree that maturity is the same, life experience is different, I’m a different person at 40 than I was at 30, my husband even more so actually.

@tiramisugelato they work together, I suspect he has a lot more money than her, he is older than her. There is a power imbalance.

What exactly is the power imbalance between two well-off people in the same role, both mature adults. I swear people on this site will make an argument out of thin air. It’s their business if they want to have an age gap, who on earth cares

Since when do we use stupid fucking made up rules to decide a 34yo fully grown, full time employed adult can't date whoever the fuck they like among their fellow adult population.

Surely this is one of these new lavender marriages? I saw an article about it being a the rage to marry your gay bff.
all open. Can sleep with who you want but committed to spending your life with your friend. Actually sounds quite good!

They look like they could be great friends but I just can't see mr tumble having a tumble with a woman!

No, you've decided there's a power imbalance based on a random rule you've made up in your head.

Just because you think it, doesn't mean it's true. HTH.

It’s very Mumsnet to be so hysterical over 2 adults (the younger of whom has now been an adult for 17 years), who have no children and are both financially independent with great careers, dating each other.

It's just weirdly controlling. And who talks about two consenting adults having a sexual relationship as "gross"?!

By that ‘logic’, all stay at home mums/dads are in ‘power imbalance’ relationships. Or any couple where they don’t earn exactly the same amount.

Yeah, I've met him when working in a similar field.
He was an absolute tool to the other performers.

Exactly. DH is older than me, I take home slightly more than him (both self-employed) - does that balance it out, do you think? Or are we gross too? 😂

it's ridiculous.

along side the perennial "what do people 20 years apart in age have in common?"

I dunno... their likes, dislikes, careers, hobbies, music tastes....

I have a friendship group that spans a mix of sexes ages 21 to 50 and we all get on because we all share a love of cars, motorbikes, racing, mechanics & cruising to loud music, and all happen to also be disabled.

Ffs

Mr Tumble was the secret crush or the unexplainable crush on MN for years . It's the first thing I thought of when I saw the news articles . I think Justin Fletcher had a reputation of being a funny guy when not being his character . She seems an old fashioned type of girl, content that live in the countryside with their animals so maybe a perfect match for an older man . She's not in her twenties so not exactly very young either . I hope they are happy life is tough

What a roundabout way to tell us you fancy Mr Tumble.

There's nothing wrong with this age gap. Two friends of mine have got a 20 year age gap. They met through work when he was in his fifties and she was in her thirties. Both were in low paid jobs so there was no gold digging involved. They had shared interests and values and are still together more than 20 years later. It's nobody else's business.

Quite. My friends range from my own age (mid 30s) to 60. This notion that you somehow have more in common with somebody as they’re the same as you is really odd - you might have lived through the same trends but that doesn’t mean you like them, participated in them and want to mutually share them with somebody forever more.

The age of each of them I think is relevant, it is not some sleaze bag pursuing a woman barely out of school or university.

Also I agree about character, it's not as if he is the children's tv answer to Russell Brand.

Sounds awful but I really wouldn't be shocked if he suddenly became the next BBC scandal and disappeared off air overnight.
There's something about him that makes my skin crawl and I have to turn the channel over if he comes on.

I'm just curious where the line is. 21 is too much, so I'm genuinely interested at what point it becomes ok given the strength of feeling

But you aren't necessarily any more MATURE, just different

I do think some people have quite narrow friendship groups. I'm similar to you I ntbat when I'm at my hobby, the age ranges from early 20s to 80s. I spend the majority of my free time with people 15 years younger to 15 years older, I just happen to be in the middle as that means some of them are socialising across a 30 year age gap. It isn't weird, we're just people. If I'm moaning about the kids, someone younger than me might have older oens so can give advice or someone older might not have any or might have younger ones. Same for work or relationships. Most people's lives are so linear