To have asked what his daughter normally eats in a foodless house??

[AlwaysSomeKunceInTheWay]

Bloke I’ve been seeing invited me over for dinner Saturday night. Idea was he’d cook dinner, I stay the night and then drive to the coast Sunday morning.

So I got there and he said he’d decided we should get a takeaway instead of him cooking. I said I don’t like to eat takeaway but I’m happy to eat anything … beans on toast would do. He said he didn’t have anything in. No bread, nothing. I’d noticed there was a pizza in the fridge so I suggested we cook that, he said no as it’s his daughters (she lives with him, 12) and she’d given strict instructions not to touch it. I said “well surely we could just replace it tomorrow before she comes home?” He said no as she’d made it herself … it was an asda pizza!! Ok she may have chosen the toppings but surely we could have just had the same one made again??

Anyway I agreed to the takeaway but made it clear that I wouldn’t be making a habit of it as I’m health conscious. I ended up paying for half of it which normally I would expect but he’d invited me over for dinner!!?

Anyway next morning we got up, he made a coffee and then said we’d only be able to have the one as he was running low on coffee but he said he had plenty of tea bags in. I don’t drink tea.

Anyway time is ticking on and he asked if I was ready to head out to the coast … I said “are we not having any breakfast?” He replied “I don’t really have anything in”. So I said “no cereal?” He said no. I said “what do you normally do for breakfast?” So he said “I don’t normally bother or I have a packet of crisps”.

Now the next thing I said is my AIBU …

I said “what does your daughter eat for breakfast?”. He looked pissed off and started stuttering etc before saying she just has crisps or whatever. I didn’t say anything else but I told him I’d be stopping off at shop on the way to buy MYSELF something to eat. He then starts banging on about McDonald’s breakfast etc etc which I refused.

Hes messaged me this morning saying he’s a bit upset that I implied his daughter isn’t well taken care of. I simply asked what she normally had for breakfast since there was fuck all in the cupboards!!

Was I wrong to ask??

I get you mean but sometimes it takes people a while to fully process what’s going on.

They might know something is amiss and even challenge it at the time, but it’s only after a few days they come to the realisation that it’s not fixable and they don’t want to see that person again.

But yeah hopefully OP didn’t sleep with him. He sounds disgusting. But either way she did say she has ended things now at least,
which is the main thing.

It may be he was just tight and didn't want to provide you any food. He is obviously a liar so may have had food for the daughter but kept out of view of you. Sounds wierd but there's some really tight men out there. It's a huge red flag so hope you end the relationship straight away.

Don't be ridiculous 'stay with him to gauge what his daughter eats' by playing detective it will involve her having to go over, which he will clearly expect a shag 🤢the man lives like a dirty slob by the sound of it, i dread the state of sheets,hope he changed the bed before she stayed.
No,she's done the right thing reporting her concerns and dumping him

Get out now. So many red flags.

Get rid…

It is not OP’s job to contact the mother!
Shes informed school - she’s done her bit!

I do agree with some of your points but the OP hasn't furnished us with the full details. She may have got to his house on the train and had no means of going home, and she may have been especially looking forward to the day out the following day--perhaps he was even dropping her off back home so it may have been impractical for her to just leave. If he's been very nice and normal up to this point, she likely had no idea things would go like this. There are many 'fireside devils' around who are adept at hiding parts of themselves until they're not. If she very much liked him and then he did this, it wouldn't have been easy to say what I HOPE I would've said 'Hang on, you said you were cooking? I am starving and I don't want a takeaway, sorry, I am going to go and get myself some real food and head home'.

I do agree with everything else, completely and I so hope she has actually rid herself of him. I couldn't be doing with this, but I am not 100% sure (depending on circumstances) that I would've just left. I certainly wouldn't if I didn't have transport and/or it would've involved an expensive taxi or putting myself in a situation where I simply could not get home.

OP has clearly been seeing him a while, she states she’s been seeing him for a while and her follow-ups state he’s stayed at hers before plus she’s been with him long enough to have bumped into and know about his ex.