AIBU to think my SIL was rude about my clothes?

[UninterestedInFashion]

Over the half term week we saw dh family a few times. A kids birthday party, family bbq and couple of outings to the park and pub.

I admit I’m not very fashionable , don’t really follow it and wear what I like and what suits me. For context this is what I wore each time Kids party : black 3/4 length leggings and striped vest top and converse
family bbq hibiscus pattern dress and sandals
park denim shorts and a vest top and sandals
pub same hibiscus dress (it’s very old I’ve had it years but I love it)

The first time SIL said ‘oh here’s Y2K girl’ and laughed at the dress. The second time I wore it she quietly said to me ‘a spotty dress would suit you better - polka dots are in right now’

When I wore the denim shorts she said ‘you’re brave ! They are very short ! How many years have you had those!’

When I wore the 3/4 leggings she again took me aside and said ‘let’s go shopping one day - you need some wide leg linen trousers not these leggings ! I’m surprised they even still sell them or are they vintage again ‘ and laughed?

I said to her no thanks I’m comfortable and it’s hot so I’m wearing what I like and what keeps me cool. She said ‘come on sometimes we all need a bit of a refresh!’

AIBU to think she was really rude ??? I didn’t feel hurt but just irritated.

Capris yes, not 3/4 black leggings.

Well, the SIL is certainly jealous of the OP.

It really doesn’t sound like she is!

op she is very bloody rude, ignore.

No, I don’t think she is.

She is being OTT and trying to do you a favour (maybe). If you wear something that is very outdated then it makes you look older than you are. What about trying to wear a little something that is newer and even more comfortable, maybe a top, earrings, along with what you have. If your hairstyle is more than 5 years old, and you go to a hairdresser, say you want something slightly different. You can mostly tell lady's age or how long they have been married by their hairstyle, which hasn't changed at all. It's really not about drastic change but more subtle little things.

She would probably not notice that she had bitchy and you would not be so sensitive to her remarks. A win on your side.

Try taking her on one side next time and telling her, quitely but firmly, that you get that she is trying to be kind but it is just fucking rude, so please pack it in. If she is a reasonable person she will accept this, probably be mortified, but get past it. If she doesn', she's not a reasonable pers9n and you've gained something by finding this out.

My thought too, not everyone can rock Daisy Dukes! And it doesn't matter how you look in them, just the confidence is enough.

There is only one thing to say about someones clothing choices, unless you are directly asked for a candid opinion and that is " You look nice". If you can't say that, keep schtum.

It's not a crime to wear something that someone else might perceive as outdated!

OP is happy with what she wears. She should not buy new clothes just to please that rude bitch. Guaranteed SIL would criticise whatever OP chooses to wear. She should fuck off and mind her own business.

What a rude cow. Denim shorts and black leggings are always around. They aren't high fashion but aren't "dated" either. She sounds a bit of a fashion victim if she thinks women should only wear the latest trends.

Linen trousers, yuck. You might as well tie two creased paper bags together and wear those on your legs. Same effect.

Good point! If she regularly dismisses you and
puts you down it’s awful -if you’re very close you could say it’s clumsy, although I still think she’s rude and you should say so to make a boundary for future comments.

The OP seems just fine with her choices and has not asked for advice. She doesn’t need the advice of her sil, or tips from you about a haircut and earrings either!

And you can tell how long someone has been married by their hairstyle?! That’s quite the gift!

The reason I think @WearyAuldWumman is right about this dates back several decades. I lost a lot of weight and ventured into a knee length skirt. A colleague said "Sorry, but that is too short for you" (in the words of Jack Nicholson, I didn't ask)

Talked to a couple of friends who I trusted to be honest and they said I looked fine, and they really, really would have tactfully put me right if I didn't. I eventually came to see that said colleague was never going to be asked to edit or appear in Vogue, IYSWIM and her motives were questionable.

They look a bit frumpy. This woman sounds like a bitch tbh and OP should just ignore her.

Clothing is so personal and honestly not important.

We're not all trying to project some mythical shallow image. Who cares if stuff is dated? we could call it vintage if that makes you feel better. Luckily not many pp are judgemental about someone else's choices.

‘That’s so sweet of you SiL, but I’m currently dressing for comfort, not style, and we do have very different tastes, so I can’t see a scenario in which either of us would like anything the other chose. Thanks again though’. Complete with emphasis, a sickly sweet smile and the occasional look up and down.

And if that doesn’t work, then it’s time to tell her that you’d tried to say it nicely, but you don’t like her dress sense and if you wanted to update your wardrobe, you’d ask a colour blind, Disney Princess loving toddler before her.

Jesus, why does it matter? We all have different likes and dislikes.

Y2K fashion has been trending on Tik Tok for weeks so it’s not the insult she thinks it is 🤣🤣🤣

“WE 6 sites
Yes, Y2K fashion is absolutely on trend, but it has evolved into a more "grown-up" and wearable aesthetic. Rather than a temporary nostalgia phase, data-driven insights show that early-2000s elements have solidified into a staple of modern streetwear. in Fashion Week Online +2”

I've seen similar happening at the gym.

A group of us attend the same class for older people. One woman in particular has lost a lot of weight and looks really good - she's been weight training, so hasn't made the mistake of losing muscle along with fat.

One of the other women keeps telling her that she's done enough, she doesn't want to look 'gaunt'...but she's been telling her this for months now.

The rest of us have told her - truthfully - that she looks fabulous.

She means well. I’d just say honestly you do t care a jot about fashion and feel v comfortable the way you are. Thanks for offering but just not me.

Agree. This is in the 'two things can be right at the same time' category. Some people don't care about fashion and trends and that's fine BUT I do think it's important to look at least vaguely put together, which is harder in hot weather. Truth is, yes, OP may need a wardrobe update but her SIL was rude in how she conveyed that information.

It doesn’t. But equally saying 3/4 leggings are on trend when they mean capris is just not factual.

She was 100% rude.

I'd wait for her to do it again, because we all know she will, I'd let her chat her usual shit and then tilt my head, look her up and down, smile and say 'You do realise I don't like your style either, right? I'm just not rude enough to actually say it' then walk away.

She was rude. Another time you could remind her that Y2K is back in fashion.

It's hilarious how she seems so invested in something that's none of her concern - your choice of what you choose to wear.

I've been around people like her and laughed it off at the time but it's left me feeling pissed off that I've not said anything to shut them up. I would now.

She sounds rude and needs telling as much.

She's so rude OP. This says far more about her personality than your appearance (and I'm sure you look lovely). Who knows why she's suddenly decided to start picking on you, I expect she's feeling insecure about something in her life and this makes her feel good.

If I had a very stylish SIL whose clothes I admired, I'd be quite cross and irritated by the comments and think she was rude, but probably would take her up on her offer of a shopping trip Trinny and Susannah style (although I probably wouldn't end up liking SIL very much).