AIBU to think my SIL was rude about my clothes?

[UninterestedInFashion]

Over the half term week we saw dh family a few times. A kids birthday party, family bbq and couple of outings to the park and pub.

I admit I’m not very fashionable , don’t really follow it and wear what I like and what suits me. For context this is what I wore each time Kids party : black 3/4 length leggings and striped vest top and converse
family bbq hibiscus pattern dress and sandals
park denim shorts and a vest top and sandals
pub same hibiscus dress (it’s very old I’ve had it years but I love it)

The first time SIL said ‘oh here’s Y2K girl’ and laughed at the dress. The second time I wore it she quietly said to me ‘a spotty dress would suit you better - polka dots are in right now’

When I wore the denim shorts she said ‘you’re brave ! They are very short ! How many years have you had those!’

When I wore the 3/4 leggings she again took me aside and said ‘let’s go shopping one day - you need some wide leg linen trousers not these leggings ! I’m surprised they even still sell them or are they vintage again ‘ and laughed?

I said to her no thanks I’m comfortable and it’s hot so I’m wearing what I like and what keeps me cool. She said ‘come on sometimes we all need a bit of a refresh!’

AIBU to think she was really rude ??? I didn’t feel hurt but just irritated.

This always rubs me up the wrong way. The op is a grown up. She doesn’t need her husband to defend her as she’s some meek little woman who is incapable.

She’s ok she’s just a very different person to me with very different interests. Occasionally in the past she’s made the odd comment about clothes/ appearance but not to this extent ! She is very into fashion , hair , make up and nails , I’m not really bothered about stuff like that I obviously make sure I’m clean and presentable but her image is a huge part of her personality

I'd be giving it back to her

Don't worry, Kendal

Oh, did you get a discount at BooHoo on that??

You know there's places other than Asda etc etc

I would have literally told her to fuck off.

So rude!!! And so presumptuous!!!

Good one

My sil was the same, she’s now branched out into stretchy shiny nylon. It was always tunic tops in a busy pattern and three quarter length leggings which went see through when she bent over, and sketchers before that.

I don't get why posters are saying SIL is trying to help, she's bitchy and mean, you just don't do this. I'd tell her to leave me alone and don't comment on my clothes ever.

Someone in my family seems to wear something only once esp if it’s on social media 🙄

Im with you OP
whatever is comfortable
& we don’t need excess items to make us happy do we.
Wide leg - no from me. Flapping about.

Maybe she meant it kindly then, your outfits do sound dated/worn, and there is nothing wrong with that, but if she’s big into fashion it might make her think she should help you. Of course she’s got it wrong, and it’s rude. You habe to be a special kind of fool to tell someone when they didn’t ask.

id rather chew my own foot off than tell my sil.

What kind of image? Surely someone who is just comfy and happy? Why would she just change every time a fashion changes? Seems stupid unless she enjoys it and she clearly doesnt otherwise she wouldve done it.

Ive never understood this. Isnt it nice that everyone wears different styles?

I’d just say, “I wear what I like” then either change the subject or walk away.

Very rude and not nice at all! You’ve tried to address this with her, but it’s clearly not working as she’s constantly commenting. Perhaps you need to be more firm? Say “Look I really don’t appreciate your comments about my clothes. I don’t care about being fashionable. I prefer comfort. You clearly don’t understand this but I’ve said this several times already yet you’re still making comments about my clothing. I don’t appreciate this. Please stop.” Can add “Otherwise we will end up falling out / otherwise I won’t want to meet up with you” etc

Year’s ago my sister declared she was fed up seeing me in the same styles I’d been wearing for years. I stupidly agreed to go shopping with her and came back with clothes I just didn’t like as they weren’t ‘me’. I never wore them and reverted back to what I wanted to wear.

She’s a rude cow!! You can have fun with this though. What colour hair does she have?

Next time you see her say “Just wondered if you’ve changed hairdresser recently. You’re looking quite brassy/thinning.” Whatever might cause her some paranoia 😂

It’s absolutely none of her business what you wear. Bullies only respond to a taste of their own medicine.

Who says OP’s trying to project an image? Sometimes we’re just wearing clothes, not trying to look girl boss or sexy or insta ready.

She’s not even right, as three quarter leggings are absolutely back in amongst the young ones.

It doesn’t sound like she’s trying to be mean, but she’s definitely being rude.

You don’t care about fashion, you’re not looking to change so just tell her that.

They really aren’t,,peddle pushers are.

tobe fair I don’t think the poster suggested changing every time the fashion changes.

Not that it matters at all and I’m glad you are able to wear what you like, I do the same, but your sil is not fashionable at all and doesn’t know what she is talking about. y2k is the height of fashion right now and it sounds like that’s your style. Linen trousers are now dated and most people interested in fashion would never wear them now. Just wanted to add I personally have nothing against linen trousers or any other clothing for that matter. I have got a teen daughter who loves fashion so I’m going by what she and her friends shows me.

She's a CF. And I'd tell her so.

Then try to put it out of your mind. She's toxic. And that's her burden to bear.

Oh God, wear what you want and take absolutely no notice of Little Miss Fashionista.

I buy what I like, what suits me and what I feel comfortable wearing. Years ago, I'd follow the latest fashion, but I'm 51 now. I like to look nice, but comfortable. I love Vinted, will trawl for ages looking at clothes. If I like it, and I think it suits me, I buy...I definitely don't worry if it's last season etc.

Your SIL is projecting her own insecurities over appearance onto you. She clearly believes, that how she looks is important, and because it is to her, it should do to you too. The fact you don't care your dress is years old, you like it, so therefore wear it, might be something she's secretly envious of!!

That’s not rude, it’s beyond rude. I would have critiqued her fashion choices in a way that made her fucking cry, but that’s just awful, perimenopausal me who has a truly vicious tongue when riled, and no longer takes this kind of shite.