AIBU to think my SIL was rude about my clothes?

[UninterestedInFashion]

Over the half term week we saw dh family a few times. A kids birthday party, family bbq and couple of outings to the park and pub.

I admit I’m not very fashionable , don’t really follow it and wear what I like and what suits me. For context this is what I wore each time Kids party : black 3/4 length leggings and striped vest top and converse
family bbq hibiscus pattern dress and sandals
park denim shorts and a vest top and sandals
pub same hibiscus dress (it’s very old I’ve had it years but I love it)

The first time SIL said ‘oh here’s Y2K girl’ and laughed at the dress. The second time I wore it she quietly said to me ‘a spotty dress would suit you better - polka dots are in right now’

When I wore the denim shorts she said ‘you’re brave ! They are very short ! How many years have you had those!’

When I wore the 3/4 leggings she again took me aside and said ‘let’s go shopping one day - you need some wide leg linen trousers not these leggings ! I’m surprised they even still sell them or are they vintage again ‘ and laughed?

I said to her no thanks I’m comfortable and it’s hot so I’m wearing what I like and what keeps me cool. She said ‘come on sometimes we all need a bit of a refresh!’

AIBU to think she was really rude ??? I didn’t feel hurt but just irritated.

I wouldn’t say anything to her, but I’d defo be having some fun with outfits when I knew she’d be there 🤣

Silver sparkly boob tube and tiny shorts one day, full on granny outfit with tights the next… just to see her face 🤣🤣

This

what was she wearing making her think she had the right to speak to you like this?

just ignore her she sounds awful, wear what you want!

I’d tell her that you have never liked her style and wouldn’t go to her for fashion advice even if you wanted it so maybe to think about herself rather than other people.

How rude of her. Ignore her and wear what you want/like. I bet you look lovely. X

The 1950’s have just returned your call…surprised you haven’t suggested the OP put some lipstick on and a ribbon in her hair.

She always looks nice and recently wears a lot of matching sets in pastel colours or beige. One of the occasions she had a pair of black and white spotted trousers (quite big spots) and a lovely white fitted cami top and it looked nice on her but I do think if I dressed similarly if that’s what fashionable that I’d feel uncomfortable and also I don’t really wear pale colours as they wash me out and I also spill things or the kids do 😂😂

Op she sounds like a bitch and she is trying to neg you. Ok so maybe you aren’t winning any style awards but who cares? You didn’t ask for her opinion so she should keep it to herself.

Ok, tell that to all the early 20’s glamorous women who are wearing them in every Pilates, yoga and barre class I go to!

Or ask her if she’s paying for the new wardrobe of clothes.

Just laugh at her-and point out that Y2K clothes are very in-the young women in my family try to buy them online.

Just say thanks for the fashion advice, you appreciate her concern but it wouldn't work for you as you don't like her taste in clothes. Flamin' cheek of her.

Depends on your relationship.

If she sees you as a little sister, and is like that with her siblings, she means well. Maybe awkwardly, but meant well.

If you are more like a very distant relation, a vague friend, yes, rude.

Does she have a point about the shorts being VERY shorts? Because if you can see the pockets coming out, it's not a great look on someone old enough to be a mother.

Yes that was very rude of her. It sounds like she does want to help you but went the wrong way about it. Only thing I’ll say is 3/4 leggings should be burned unless you’re using them for exercise.

On what grounds? Her hibiscus dress?

Nope, probably the constant comments really isn't it?

Very arrogant and judgmental. Tell her to bog off.

I think she actually means well as she offered to help find you new pieces rather then just slagging you off.

Means well?!?!

Means well? She just sounds monumentally thick. The OP wasn’t asking for fashion advice, or expressing any unhappiness with her clothes. There was no call for her intervention.

Come on people 😂

the OP has said she’s not very fashionable and doesn’t follow fashion. She describes wearing some quite dated styles whilst describing her sil as always looking nice.

SIL is not jealous. Pretending that she is or that 3/4 leggings are fashionable anywhere outside the gym is absurd.

The OP is not into fashion - that’s fine. The SIL is, encouraging OP to make snide comments about her SILs taste is going to backfire.

being honest that she’s happy as she is would serve her much better

Sounds like my ex-SiL. Rude.

@UninterestedInFashion tell her you don't care about all that stuff. I tell people sometimes that my clothes are older than they are :) They are what I like and better quality than the poorly made stuff you get now. Only t shirts and stuff but I like them
If that is all she has to worry about, she's lucky.

Same here. It's a kind of uniform, isn't it, for things like a play date. Not everyone wants or needs to display their fashion currency at any given moment, particularly when practicality and washability are more relevant.

this, well said. The sil isn’t jealous of the ops old and much loved dress or 3 quarter length leggings and it’s silly to pretend that’s the case.

i strongly suspect she’s quite a jokey character, and is trying to help, the comments are meant as light hearted,. But the comments are very rude as the op doesn’t find them funny and doesn’t want help.

she just needs to take her aside and say I find the comments hurtful, i am happy with how I dress and don’t need help, please stop commenting. I would imagine she will apologise, and be a little embarassed, then they can just move on.

She may not be jealous of the leggings or dress, but she clearly wants to put OP down. Saying someone is "brave" for wearing something isn't being kind or jokey. It's being passive aggressive.

I suspect she has quite low self-esteem herself and is envious of OP's confidence and her laid back attitude towards her clothes. People who are happy in themselves don't feel the need to criticise and poke fun at others.