To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

I think it depends on the threads you click on because I do see these threads.

Loads of posters state that they are teetotal (not tea-total), which is fine, but the manner they do it in is very virtue signalling.

I do drink, but I would class myself as a moderate drinker and stick well within the NHS guidelines

Last weekend we had 8 people round for a late lunch. 10 bottles of champagne/wine and beers G&Ts. Not unusual.

Now, that really is a lot of alcohol. Since you class that as not unusual I would find that a worrying amount of alcohol to drink regularly.

Why do people keep listing professional jobs as if that's a reason why it's OK to drink loads and not to worry about health effects?

I agree. Or to justify taking illegal drugs?

I don't drink any more I don't see the point of it really is rather have fun with my mates sober 😊 it's called growing up and finding better things to enjoy than getting hammered and embarrassing yourself 🤮

@Missey85 More hyperbole. Not everyone who enjoys a drink gets hammered or even wants to get hammered. I don't. I don't like feeling out of control or having hangovers.

I’m 60 and none of my friends or family are interested in drinking to the extent that you describe OP. We tend to drink tea/coffee and soft drinks when socialising with friends. That’s always been my norm.

I remember the “wine o’clock mummies” when I was younger but I wasn’t interested in socialising with them. I thought they were a bit sad, to be honest.

Presumably, it’s down to the social circles you inhabit?

In summary, people on this site, from the posts only, are extremely unusual in comparison to the general population

I dont know this many man haters in real life
Alcohol use is looked down upon or viewed as shocking but conversely they seem 'cool' with drug use particularly cannabis
Everything is seen as some sort of 'safeguarding' alert or red flag
Everyone goes NC over some small perceived slight.

Many other examples.

Fair enough. Although judging by the poll it's not the prevailing mumsnet view as OP is portraying it.

I think it’s because the historically prevailing view on MN is that if you drink you are:

• irresponsible,
• a negligent (possibly abusive) parent,
• someone who doesn’t care about their health,
• unreliable/inconsistent
• prone to letting people down
• have poor priorities
• self-destructive

and so posters - me included - use professional, to illustrate that we have a level of commitment and responsibility to rebut some of the more extreme suggestions of fecklessness

But it doesn't rebut anything. Lots of professional people are all of the things you listed - having a "professional" job doesn't change a thing in that respect.

Ive often noticed that the over eating threads (i just scoffed 6 cream eggs etc) are met with amusement, whilst the over indulging in alcohol threads are frowned upon

I also find it strange how people on here would never ever let their teen (15-17) drink or go out but all my nieces and nephews parents are of the opinion it’s better for them to drink at home and be safe than go out. My mum and dad let us drink beer when we went to house parties after we were 16 - no wine, no spirits, but we could have a case of beer or cider. Of course we did all at one point try spirits and it ended horribly, I still can’t do vodka. I think maybe it’s a class thing? My Brother and SIL have money now but they’re still very working class culturally if that’s a thing. We’ve been taking our kids to the pub a couple of weekends a month since they were little so they’ve always been around drinking and we all still drink, not like we used to though. Also probably helps that my dad is sober so we have a designated driver.

I've always viewed the MN take on drinking as much more relaxed than I am. I'm a teetotaller because I don't like the taste. Not because I have any inherent objection to an occasional glass of wine.

I cant drink it but most people I know do so I would say it is unusual to not drink it.

Yes it’s more than the recommended amount of alcohol. Is it a “massive” amount? I don’t know and truthfully I don’t care. For me it’s a part of the tapestry of an enjoyable life. Good food, good wine, good company enjoyed together is one of the biggest pleasures in life.

if it shaves a couple of years off my life then it’s guess I’ll have to be grateful for a life well lived 🤷‍♀️

I also don’t consistently follow health recommendations on getting 8 hours sleep per night, not eating charcuterie, avoiding the sun, eating 10 portions of fruit/veg every day, doing 30 mins of daily exercise, avoiding stress etc etc.

I don’t do badly in those areas but I consider it a balance - what’s the point of life without enjoying most of it?

@Peanutbutterkitty Unless someone does a full analysis of all posts and gives us some stats, we’ll never know for sure.
I’ve seen equal amounts of arguments both for and against the use of alcohol (and drugs) on MN.
It’s often the case that what we think and do ourselves, we see as completely normal. Other people’s habits and opinions are the odd ones!

I’m not using them incorrectly. These are the stats, and they take into account people lie or downplay. It’s an estimation, no one is disputing that alcohol contains cals and can contribute to obesity. What is being said is that a lot more people are fat that drink a lot.

the main cause of obesity is over eating, 66 percent of the population is not over weight due to alcohol. And I would absolutely bet good money there are posters on here screeching about alcohol use who are over weight or obese.

Its a mixed bag in my group. Everyone drinks (except my partner). But most of my couple friends don't drink at home at all, but will drink heavily on nights out (say once a month?). I drink a bit at home if I feel like it - not much as partner doesnt drink at all - and will drink a bit when out socialising. Not as much as my other friends. One couple does drink at home - glass of wine every night each.

Think thats the norm really isnt it? I do know acquaintances who are doing the big boozie bottomless brunches every weekend with the girls. Im not interested in that despite invites. Not being sniffy, but the idea of being rat arsed at 2pm and have to get a train home totally sloshed sounds so grim. Id be so embarrassed.

I guess I would be asking why you need to regularly drink large amounts of alcohol in order to enjoy your life.

Alcohol related illnesses don't just "shave a couple of years off your life" either - dying of cancer or liver disease can be long drawn out, incredibly painful and incredibly unpleasant for you and your family. I've seen two family members die from alcohol related illnesses and it was horrible - both of them spent at least a decade suffering as a result of their choices.

And I guess you’d also ask why overweight people need to eat to excess to enjoy theirs, eveyone has their vices, loosen the judgey pants, unclenc the pearls.

I think food is different because you need to eat to survive and therefore it's harder to deal with an addiction to it - you don't need to drink alcohol.

If you think I'm judgy or need to unclench then that's fine - I've seen the damage alcohol addiction does to people and wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's horrific.

You also need to drink to survive. You dont need to eat cake

You don't need any kind of alcohol to survive.

Not all people with food addiction just stuff themselves with cake.

You are literally using them incorrectly - treating population-level percentages as if they directly prove or disprove causation. Obesity rates reflect multiple causes (diet, activity, genetics, socioeconomic factors). Alcohol is one contributor among many, not the sole driver, and I didn’t say it was the only driver. You’re also ignoring overlapping groups, cherry picking thresholds and comparing unrelated percentages instead of examining how alcohol consumption interacts with obesity risk within overlapping populations.

I disagree - I have literally never seen a post where someone says one glass of wine twice a week makes someone "feckless" or "abusive".

I think some posters are hearing "alcohol carries health risks" and responding as though they've been accused of being a dysfunctional alcoholic.

That's why we keep getting references to careers, mortgages and Dry January. They're all evidence that someone is functioning "perfectly well". They don't really address the original point which is that alcohol has significant health risks.

Also, its quite asinine to suggest that if you are a professional you couldn't possibly be feckless, abusive, unreliable, or have poor priorities - thats really quite snobbish because you are basically saying only professionals can have good characters!

You need to drink to survive as well, in fact you can live longer with out food than fluid. It’s whay you need to eat and drink.

You need to drink water. Not alcohol. No amount of alcohol is healthy or safe.

Curtain twitching drinkers, I suspect.

The poster didn’t say they did. The fact remains obesity is a significantly larger issue than alcohol in terms of health issues and pretending it’s due to booze is fooling no one, I’m not even sure you believe it yourself