To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

Agree OP - the prevailing MN view is that more than three drinks a week makes you a problem drinker and there is so much passive aggression around the topic it’s laughable.

Most of my friends are big social drinkers. professional jobs, busy, responsible lives. Last weekend we had 8 people round for a late lunch. 10 bottles of champagne/wine and beers G&Ts. Not unusual.

I also feel that women drink much more in real life than what I read on MN. I genuinely don't drink alcohol, but that's because I hate the taste of it.

On threads, references about alcohol always seem to focus on wine but my experience is that women drink as much or more gin and beer.

You are normal to me. DH and I have a drink at home - one small glass of wine or a single G&T - almost every day. The exception is if I want a beer, as I love alcohol free beer so drink that instead. Zero alcohol beer is also what I usually drink in pubs. We do Dry January every year with no problem at all. Just switch to soft drinks. I never crave a drink in January but I might if DH was drinking and I wasn't. It's easy to do together.

We had friends over for dinner last night and drank loads. I haven't done that in ages - not even at Christmas or New Year but we were having a good catch up. My friend and I had a glass of champagne each, then shared a bottle of wine and then had a brandy. Our husbands drank even more. But it was over the course of 5 hours and we were pleasantly tipsy not actually drunk. And I don't feel rough today which is a bit surprising.

Don't drink much as a rule but I do love a real ale or pint of bitter at our local on a sunny day once or twice a month.

It's not the prevailing view if you look at the poll

Christ though that is a lot for just lunch, didn’t you all feel like death after?

Exactly. The younger generations drink less than people over 50. Drinking is becoming an older-people thing. The young are much more clued-up about the damage of smoking and drinking.

That’s a massive amount of alcohol though no matter how you look at it.

I absolutely agree with this.

Drinking loads of wine with lunch seems like something my mum would have done 20 years ago - it seems like a really old fashioned thing to do now.

I went off alcohol a few years ago, and looking back, it was about when peri started. I don't know if the two things are connected.

I'm not teetotal, but these days I only have a glass of wine at Christmas or on the rare occasion I go out for dinner. I'm glad I went off it, now that the latest research shows it's even worse for you than we thought. The wine I like is also not cheap, so I save money, too.

It really does!

Not really - I tend to get the worst hangovers of everyone I know but provided I drink plenty of water I’m fine.

Why do people keep listing professional jobs as if thats a reason why it's ok to drink loads and not to worry about health effects?

Ethanol doesnt consult Linkedin before it decides whether its going to affect your health or not 🤣

People can drink whatever they like, but being an accountant or a lawyer doesnt give you immunity to alcohol damage - I know lots of professionals who have addictions of all sorts.

It’s the same with most views on MN.. disapproval prevails because people want a debate.. it’s not very satisfying to reply to a thread just to agree or sympathise with the OP

It's SO bad for you! I'm really glad that I inexplicably went off it a few years ago.

One thing I have noticed on Mumsnet is an enthusiasm for labelling people as "alcoholics", which is actually quite an old fashioned and unhelpful label. Many people can have a problematic relationship with alcohol for periods of their life, and many people benefit from abstinence. But to diagnose someone as an "alcoholic", on the basis of one post on the internet, is a bit of a reach, to put it mildly.....

Also a lot of unpleasant things are said about these so called "alcoholics". That they will never change, will always put alcohol before everyone else, etc etc.

The world is full of people who have had problems with alcohol and are now abstinent. There is plenty of help out there, and plenty of hope, for anyone who wants to change their relationship with alcohol.

I can’t vote because I don’t think ‘Mumsnet views’ are what you say they are. Plenty of people will have a glass or two of wine, especially at the weekend, and sometimes a lot more. But regularly getting drunk, or drinking every day, drinking to get through life are not okay, and signs of a dependency that needs challenging.

It’s age as well. I was the same in 30s but many women (me included, sadly!) find they just can’t tolerate alcohol in the same way once they hit perimenopause - even though they still love it. Almost everyone I know has a 2 drink max on a night out now and has stopped having more than the proverbial thimble occasionally with a meal at home. It’s depressing tbh. I used to love a few drinks. I just can’t sleep at all and feel deeply depressed and sluggish for up to 4 days if I have more than 2 small glasses of wine now. I also used to love a pint but it gives me bloating and reflux now. I have to stick to wine or pure clear spirits.

It hit me very quickly at about 42. It’s worse during my luteal phase.

Some women say the opposite happens to them and post menopause they can drink tons and get zero hangover. Sadly none of my friends.

I guess that’s the point of this thread right? You’ve used it as a value judgement, so what does “massive amount” even mean?

I think guests would have described the afternoon as chilled and fun, with a nice vibe. No one was stumbling, slurring incoherently, or unwell.

Clearly others think that is very “old fashioned” - ouch (I’m in my 40s for reference) - but my adult DC joined us for a bit before doing their own thing with friends, which also involved drinks.

Yes also this

I should add to this that I’m in a very boozy profession but even that has toned down lately. I don’t know if that’s just a reflection of my age so the colleagues I most socialise with are also mid life/older, or whether it’s the broader shift in society

Massive amount as in, split between 8 of you, it equals way more than the recommended amount of alcohol for an adult in one session.

The fact that you had fun and weren't stumbling about doesn't really mean much.

I guess Father Jack on the programme Father Ted had a professional job of a priest 😁

Because it's a way of making their addiction sound more socially acceptable.

If someone was unemployed and drinking a six pack of lager on the doorstep, they'd be roundly criticised, but claiming to be a lawyer who drinks champagne and expensive wine makes it sound "better" in their heads.

As with many things on mumsnet, this is another example of "people in X category are more likely to need mumsnet, so are disproportionately represented". The same is true for people with neurodiversity, people with shit mamagers and people with terrible partners, mothers or mothersinlaw. Recovering alcoholics and survivors of families affected bt alcoholism are one such. These stresses and traumas they deal with increase their propensity to need the interaction of an online community. Most people don't have these traumas and are less likely to be on mumsnet.