To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

I don’t really get the question! I’m in my mid 50’s and drank very heavily in my 20’s and 30’s as did my peers. The menopause and feeling like crap has put paid to that. Many of my peers drink as heavily as ever and are in total denial about how harmful booze is. It’s their choice obviously but I worry about them.

On the contrary, I think MN often tries to normalise drinking every evening and having several of bottles of wine to yourself every week. Then when people come on and say “that’s way too much” they get defensive and lash out and start the “thimble full at Christmas” comments.

I don’t particularly like most alcohol so I only tend to drink Baileys at Christmas or maybe a cold beer or a cocktail in the summer - and I’ve noticed pubs etc. have more and more decent alcohol free options these days, so it must be a bit of a growing market.

I do drink alcohol but probably not that much. The threads I always notice are every now and then when someone comes along and says do I have an alcohol problem and describes drinking multiple glasses of wine every day and more at the weekend along with problematic behaviour like fighting with their dh or their children being embarrassed about them. Then the comments after are quite enlightening that so many people would say drinking half a bottle of wine each day is fine. I personally don't think it is and none of my friends and family drink like that. I grew up with an alcoholic so I'm very wary of alcohol and also it's undesirable effects which is probably why those threads are ones I notice.

I used to have to ask people aboht their alcohol intake as part of my job. The most common answer given by the people I asked was 10-12 units per week. Not that they knew what a unit was, they'd give an estimation of how many and what types of drinks they'd have in a week.

These were all working professionals.

Dunno. Most people I know don’t drink much, apart from a few where drinking a lot is something they vocalize all the time about.

I’m firmly middle aged and I genuinely seem to have gone off drinking. Sometimes fancy a glass of wine or a beer but that’s it really.

I'm 45 and a regular drinker, definitely consume more than the recommended units each week. I only started drinking when I was 32 and only ever light beer. My sister who is 38 is the only person I know who never drinks alcohol. All my friends/family, DH friends and family all drink a lot.

I haven’t noticed a prevailing view on here.

Of people I know, those age 40+ are mostly cutting back. Due to:

• Money - alcohol is an unnecessary expense that is easy to cut (if you’re not alcohol dependent)
• Better awareness of the health effects
• Trying to manage perimenopause symptoms
• Losing taste for it due to weight loss injections
• much improved alcohol free options

For me personally, I still drink alcohol, but less. On a hot summer’s day, if I crave a G&T, it’s the fizz of the tonic, the citrus and ice, is what I crave. Not the alcohol in the gin. So it’s healthier and cheaper to cut the gin out, or use alcohol free gin to still get the botanical flavours. Although tonic waters and very much better than they used to be - often good enough to drink on their own.

Of course if I fancy a red wine by the fire in the winter, I’ll still go for it!

Something else I’ve noticed with a couple of friends who avoid UPF, is that they are aware of the additives in alcoholic drinks and trying to avoid for that reason. For example, what makes blue curacao blue? If they wouldn’t accept it in their food, it shouldn’t be in their cocktail either

It’s like smoking, a carcinogen that used to be socially acceptable but now we know it causes billions of deaths a year. The deaths are not only from the 7 types of cancer it is linked to (particularly breast cancer) but other serious diseases and also the violence it fuels. There is no safe level of alcohol consumption.

Oh and young people - my two are in their 20s and although they aren’t teetotal, they and most of their friends are more into energy drinks than alcohol.

I’m 34 and very rarely drink - I’m a beer girl and will occasionally have the odd pint if we’re out, but I don’t really drink at home and definitely don’t drink every weekend. Probably 2 drinks a month. I do drink a bit more when on holiday but still probably only one or two a day and that’s only once a year! This is also the same for most of my friends - none of us really drink much at all.

I spent most of my 20s hungover so I’m done 🤣

I don't drink anymore I don't see the point of it really is rather have fun with my mates sober 😊 it's called growing up and finding better things to enjoy than getting hammered and embarassing yourself 🤮

It's strange to see shandy mentioned on this thread. Since the advent of low/0% alcohol drinks I don't know anyone who drinks shandy these days.

I am often the driver when we go out, and it doesn't bother me not to drink. If it is a social occasion I am there because I want to see people, not to drink.

And this post is called being judgey,

Agree
The drinkers bend over backwards to justify daily drinking as normal
Its not

That WHO article though, the actually evidence in it is not that there is no safe level of alcohol, but that the research is not there to establish if there is a safe level. It actually says that we don’t know at what level of alcohol the carcinogenic factors are switched on. It then does quote a WHO guy saying even one drop is harmful, but he is clearly extrapolating in contradiction to the current evidence base.

The studies you link to also define low alcohol intake as one drink a day, which I personally would not count as low. I have between 0 to one ( occasionally two) alcoholic drinks a week and regard myself as a low alcohol consumer.

I’m in my 60s and I love a drink. I don’t drink much at home though. When I go out with my local friends we drink like fish

Did you always drink to that kind of excess before you had to stop for your own sake?

Most of us weren't drinking like that at any age.

And op your point is proven, here comes the hyperbole and hysteria,

MN views on a lot of things are highly unusual. I would class the views on alcohol that the OP highlights as part of an overall extreme primness/properness/prudery that's common here - you can tie it into the views on sex (grim), drugs (anyone who's ever looked at a spliff is a junkie loser) and germs (need to wear a hazmat suit at all times to be protected from other human beings' filth). It's probably linked to the obsession with social class too.

In short MN is a very unusually uptight place all round.

I don’t really see an anti alcohol stance on MNs but statistically the biggest alcohol consumers are older people particularly at unhealthy levels.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c1dk2xp137zo

The US have many more deaths from dietary related problems than alcohol. But they also have a higher number of deaths per 100,000 than the UK and much higher than Southern Europe so the guidelines are probably needed but it's evident that guidelines are not enough.

I drink but I think people under 50 drink a lot less than the generation before them. People are health conscious and hangovers don't mix well with 10km runs.

For example, my dad (nearly 80) is incapable of leaving an opened bottle of wine. He pours very full/large glasses. He cannot fathom that DH and I might open a bottle on Friday night for dinner, have a glass each, than put the cork back in and have another glass Saturday.

We would always have drinks when celebrating Christmas, birthdays etc and thats quite standard among our friends but a decent chunk of our women friends in particular now drink very little as they don't want to gain weight.

They have more deaths from alcohol use that should read.

I drink at or above the UK guidelines most weeks - a couple of small glasses of wine maybe 5 / 7 days. But I’m exceptional now among my current friends, especially the younger ones. In my group of five very closest friends, 2 are teetotal, one drinks weekends only with her husband (wine buff), one only drinks a few beers when out (very occasionally, and she just left her alcoholic DH). I have a bigger group who meet up for food and drinks, and I always drink more than they do. I’ve one old friend from uni - she still drinks like a fish but more in binges than every day.

And I’m gradually reducing as well 🤷‍♀️ not deliberately but I just want it less. DH has been teetotal for a year + now, I’ve not gone that far.

i would agree with you that MN is very po-faced about this in general. The govt guidelines are not cliff edges, and they are right at the low end of the risk level. Public health messaging is deliberately kept very simple - but the science behind it is a bit more complex.

i would agree with you that MN is very po-faced about this in general.

Po faced? this is just as judgey as those condemning drinkers.