To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

And the people who need other people to drink so they dont feel bad about themselves for drinking

Some people can't handle others not drinking, its weird

I stopped drinking over 4 years ago but the majority of people I know still drink. Their drinking patterns rather from "only on special occasions" like my DP, a nightly pint of ale, like my dad to daily excess / problematic drinking and downright alcoholism.

As a non drinker I am always an anomaly in my family / friendship / colleague / school mum circles.

I don't drink most weekends and don't know many people who do, I used to before ds. I'm not really an at home drinker never have been and ds curtails my evening socialising somewhat. When I do drink I enjoy a nice glass of wine a good cocktail, but because I don't drink often anymore 3 drinks has me feeling tipsy

I stopped 🍷 Ng when pregnant and then it wasn't really desirable with small children.
Also the wish had diminished.
There are probably many on here the same. That'll be why you are getting this effect.
But Id argue, that alcohol is not natural to the body in quantity and it being a cultural norm is not a great thing in our culture.

Alcohol tends to get discussed on MN mostly on threads about a partner's behaviour, our health, or people behaving unreasonably/controversially while drinking.
Unfortunately there are a lot of us out here who have lived with problem drinkers, been raised by them, had occasions ruined by them and cleaned up emotional and physical messes caused by them for us not to see the negative side of a culture where alcohol is so prominent.
A lot of us are health conscious, as you'd expect from a demographic that has responsibilities that make health important, and is typically no longer in their 20s.
I don't think I've ever seen enough posts overreacting to the odd glass of wine to suggest it's part of the culture on here. In fact I can count on one hand the ones I have seen, and they are almost always outweighed by others saying the drinking is fine, others are 'boring' etc.
I think some people are over defensive about their drinking. If you know your alcohol consumption is fine, if others suggest otherwise, then if the cap doesn't fit, you don't have to wear it.

These are just the (unwelcome for some) facts about alcohol as we understand them currently.

Why people get so defensive about drinking I don't really understand.

The big drinkers I know are all over 50. My 28 years old and her friends rarely drink. They're very in to fitness and healthy lifestyles. When I was her age I was a weekend binger and continued until my early 60's. I only drink on special occasions and when on holiday now.

I drink often. The risks are skewed by people who parrot statistics without understanding them and use them to act superior like the above stating they don't drink because they are "intelligent,". Totally agree OP. Hope you had a great weekend. Cheers 🍻 🥂

I stopped drinking in my late 30s which was unusual in my circle at the time. Now in my early 50s, it’s pretty common. Of my teenage DC, one drinks and the other doesn’t. At their age both DH and I drank frequently and not inconsiderable amounts. Prevailing attitudes to alcohol have changed. That said, one friendship group has remained consistent and still likes to party.

I didn't grow up around drinking and I don't drink now and neither do my kids. It's not a part of our life.

I only know one person who doesn’t drink at all. I will say everyone I know has cut back significantly in late 40s early 50s as it just is so difficult to recover from these days.

I don’t drink any alcohol at all. I used to drink a little when younger, but I am 60 now and I just don’t like it. I stopped completely when I was 50. Not even the occasional glass.

I no longer drink alcohol. It is extremely bad for you and is proven to cause cancer so I don’t touch it. I’ve also made other major changes to my diet and lifestyle over the last few years to try to be as healthy as I possibly can.

I genuinely don’t understand why attitudes towards drinking are not changing in the same way that attitudes towards smoking have and I hate the way it is still advertised on the TV and everywhere else! It’s everywhere!

There was a recent thread where a poster was asking if a certain amount of money was enough to live on. She did a breakdown and a couple of bottles of wine a week was in her budget.

The thread became all about the amount of wine she was drinking. Now my DH and I drink similar.
Apparently, according MNetters, I have a serious alcohol problem, I am going to wake up one day, apparently in my 60s, I am 59, dead, from alcohol abuse and I think that because I drink expensive wine, I think I am immune from the negative effects over over consumption of alcohol.

It was hilarious! I am most probably going to get responses admonishing me for my blasé attitude but I am not an alcoholic and I had a lovely bottle with DH last night.

Alcohol is sometimes used as a reason to dislike someone, if no other reason can be found.
The MN herd likes to move as one unit.
😉😁😁.

But people also get defensive about being fat. The same people getting hysterical about alcohol are likely in some cases sitting there over weight, and not really doing anything about it.

most people do something unhealthy, that’s the reality.

Yes it’s so not worth it for me in my 50s now. A whole glass of red wine makes me feel like death the next day. And white wine sees my weight increase almost instantly. I think 20 somethings see drinking as a bit lame and are more image conscious and 50 somethings tend to suffer so perhaps it’s a demographic thing. Maybe the 70/80 year olds are enjoying boozy times!

Completely agree with this.

I was a big drinker 20 years ago, out until the early hours every Friday and Saturday night, binge drinking, pub after work to meet friends. I’m 40 now, alcohol affects me differently and I don’t enjoy it so I don’t drink. I don’t judge anyone that does.

Attitudes are changing, pubs and clubs are shutting down all over the place, young adults seem much more health focused than my generation was and they don’t seem to drink as much now.

Ill have a few cocktails on holiday, baileys at Christmas, and maybe a cold beer on a hot day but anything more than that means I don’t sleep, I’m crippled by anxiety, and I feel shit for days. It’s just not worth it to me.

I'm 38 and I've cut down - not that I drunk a lot in the first place, but like others it would be a bottle over a week, or some ciders, etc. - but it meant I was fairly regularly having a little bit of alcohol and I didn't like that it was becoming a habit.

Now, I only drink around other people. In reality that means on a Friday, when I have a regular social event - can range from 1-2 gin and tonic to 1-2 bottles of wine shared between 2. Other than that, I rarely drink. I've noticed in my parents generation that they also don't seem to drink water/soft drinks between drinks, which I think is important.

I drink a lot less than I did in my 30s ….late 50s and it just doesn’t agree with me anymore. A lot of friends have found the same. Some of my husband’s old school friends are still drinking at the same level as they did in their 30s and frankly look fucked.

There is so much pressure to drink!

I remember at primary school, nearly 40 years ago, one of the girls said her parents didn't drink wine and my best friend and I were flummoxed.
"What do they drink at mealtimes?"
"They drink tea"
Our minds were blown 😂

I might drink a little bit of alcohol at celebrations (birthdays, Christmas and so on) but the majority of the time I don't drink at all.

Nothing unusual about it I would say.

I am very health-conscious in general and drinking alcohol has little attraction for me.

Also, I was raised in an EU country where people have a different attitude to alcohol than in the UK. The culture there is to have a glass of wine with a meal and not to binge/drink purely to get drunk. I must say I was quite surprised when I moved to London in the early 90s and saw how much alcohol people consumed on nights outs and in general.

I don't drink alone, and when I am out I am usually driving, so at most I'll have a beer (or a lovely shandy in summer!) then switch to soft drinks.

But on the odd occasion I am out, AND with people AND not driving, I can certainly knock it back and I think nothing of doing so.

I didn’t drink really at all except for very special occasions e.g my birthday maybe, Christmas definitely, sometimes social events and I’d just have a few G&Ts so I was one of those people my whole adult life.

Then two years ago something shitty happened in my life and I started using red wine as a crutch. It started off with one bottle on a Friday, then became one on a Friday and Saturday. Eventually I was justifying one on a Thursday night too because I WFH on Friday that year so viewed Thursday as the last day in work. Before I knew it I was also having a bottle on a Monday or Tuesday too. It got up to 5-6 bottles of red a week. It wasn’t weak wine either, the 14% stuff.

I was numbing pain because I didn’t want to face it head on. It knocked me out at night which I appreciated, but then I’d have a really awful sleep and wake up feeling groggy. I also ate lots of junk while drunk so gained weight, my face got puffy. I saw a pic of my face and panicked like how is that mine?! It looked like a moon. I knew it was an issue so I had to stop. Now I’ve realised I have to be sober entirely because if I let the wine back in, the habit will creep in again.

I’m one of those people where it’s all or nothing so I can’t just have one glass and stop, if the bottle is there I’m drinking it. My DH doesn’t drink, his parents are alcoholics (though they’re entirely functioning and would never admit it) so it put him off. I just avoid it now as I say. Back to social events and special occasions only.