To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

Some people on here need to bring themselves up to date on employment law, and drag themselves into the 21st century,

Ultimately you didn’t do anything wrong. Yes it’s a pain for the hiring manager, and i’d probably be slightly annoyed, but I certainly wouldn’t blame the new recruit for going for a promotion. No way should you have disclosed during interview. We all know you wouldn’t have got the job if you had, despite what the legislation says. You have to think of yourself ultimately, and this isn’t a small family business.

Hopefully they will get over it, but if it carries on, i’d ask the manager outright if they are upset with you as you’re pregnant. Of course they will say they aren’t, but if they are aware that you are picking up on the bad vibes, might stop them being so horrible.

People saying you decieved them are the reason why you shouldn't disclose. They would have discriminated against you, and you would not have got the job. That is against the law. Anyone here defending the company's position and treatment of OP since needs to take a cold hard look at themselves. Decades of women's progress, and you're still living in the dark ages.

I'm really sorry you've experienced this OP.

You should have disclosed. It is an important factor in your ability to be present in the workplace. I'd be pretty pissed off if I were them.

If they had intended for the role to be a parental leave cover then the job ad should have said so and you wouldn't have applied due to the dates. You have done nothing wrong and were not obliged to disclose.

While you acted within your rights from a legal point of view I think to deliberately deceive like this is morally wrong.

Jesus wept there are some bootlickers on here. You’re selling them your labour. That’s all. No more or less. All this shite about what you do or don’t owe them. You owe them nowt. They were even trying to discriminate via the back door during the interview. They have absolutely no business knowing what is or isn’t growing in your uterus. Document everything and make it clear that you will not be tolerating any discrimination based on your pregnancy- it’s a protected characteristic. The law is on your side.

Good luck op you did nothing wrong. Let’s just hope Reform don’t get elected and abolish the Equalities Act on day one as they have promised then we will all be screwed.

OP, congratulations on the new role.

I would agree that you should have disclosed before your holiday, but it's already done, so it's a lesson in communication for you.

Now focus on the future - try to be as useful as possible in your new role, work hard and make good impressions, so they will know that they got a great employee.

When you come back - don't worry too much, the team might change by then, including the management so you might end up working with completely different people. Or you yourself might decide to be SAHM. Basically don't worry about the future work life it's way too far to plan for it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, hope it all goes well and you have a fab maternity leave.

You're hilarious

I’m deffo not going to go running to HR or anything like that at this stage. And they’ve not done anything wrong as such, they just aren’t as friendly and chatty with me as they were before the disclosure. I can fully understand them being pissed off. I plan to do the role to the best of my ability and be proactive with my training, I am genuinely really interested in and excited about the role. It’s only fair to give them chance to process it and get over it. Being less friendly with me doesn’t constitute bullying or discrimination.

With any hope they will move past it and if not then I’ll just have to see how bearable it is after I return from mat leave and apply for other jobs.

If I’d have not gone for this promotion then the alternative was being unemployed and in debt after mat leave. This is due to my original role being impossible to manage with my childcare options. Flexible working would’ve been declined due to business needs and I’d have been forced to resign and would be unemployed and be £4000 in debt as I’d need to pay back the enhanced maternity pay. I’ll have to tolerate a slightly uncomfortable working environment if it comes to that as I know that the alternative would’ve been a financial hole that I may not have been able to recover from with a young baby

You probably mean me! And you, dear Daisychain, need to understand that to stay in business and maintain the employment, the employer has to make a profit. For the avoidance of doubt, that is the amount of money that is left in the business after the costs are paid. It is the figure on which tax is paid. The tax that funds every last half penny any government has available to spend.

And you aren't.

I agree legally you’ve done nothing wrong but you were deceitful and if I was an employer I’d be doubting your integrity and feel as if I’ve been fucked over.

Meh. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t 🤷‍♀️ you need to put yourself first.

💯

I absolutely wouldn’t have told them at the interview, nor at the verbal job offer. Only once I had the contract, I would I have disclosed.

Genuinely shocked to see so many responses from people saying how wrong you were. This is exactly why employment laws exist.

As someone who also hired a candidate who became pregnant about two weeks into her start date, and had to have time off for HG, my only concern was ensuring she was ok and being supported, and not made to feel like she was an inconvenience or burden.

Just to stick the knife in some more, at my work I was allowed time off for Aqua Natal. I got to leave work in the middle of the day for a swim, and I got PAID for it. Start having a look now to see if they offer anything similar.

Congratulations 🙌 on your new job.

We all know the law. But some of us wouldn’t choose to do it. Which is fine isn’t it? Op made her choice, other people might make different ones.

OP, I'm glad you are looking forward to the work. Give them the best you have, and don't worry about the small, petty behind the scenes shenanigans. If it escalates, you know there's HR.

If you do good work, they should value that. As a PP said, you're not working for them out of the goodness of your heart, you are their employee and you have rights. You give them your time, they give you money. It's a contract. They don't have to be your friends, and you don't have to feel guilty. If they are grownups, they'll get over it. If not, well you might decide it's not the place for you.

No OP this question is to also understand if you want to work specific days from home, if you require flexible hours, if you are a carer and may need time for appointments etc.

No you didn’t legally have to tell them BUT if you had already told HR which I suspect you had to get your 20 week certificate then it was wrong to not tell your new manager.

If you hadn’t told them then you lied to your new manager during an interview which isn’t okay.

You had told your old manager so you weren’t hiding it. Legally they can’t discriminate against you but hiding a pregnancy for 25 weeks is odd.

Exactly. So she would have still
gotten the job but been honest.

I wouldn’t tell them during the interview either - an interview is not the time or the place to be disclosing personal info/circumstances. Congrats on your new job ☺️

I had expected that in between job offer and official start date, we would meet for a debrief and to go over terms, sign contracts and I would disclose the pregnancy then but this never happened.

I had a quick rushed call to tell me I’d got the job which ended abruptly as she had to go to a meeting. She also quickly mentioned in this call she’d let me know when I had a start date. At this stage I still didn’t want to disclose as I’d not signed anything formal. A few weeks passed and I was due to go on my holiday so reached out and asked for a call to tell them about the pregnancy and got no response.

I return from my holiday to find out the transfer has been processed in my absence and I get nabbed from the customer service office at 9:05am by my new manager and taken up to the new department and told I’m starting straight away by which point I had to blurt it out as the legal deadline was days away and my bump had grown significantly over the 17 days I’d been off.

you lied to your new manager during an interview which isn’t okay.

It's not possible to lie to your new manager at interview. She hadn't been offered the job yet, and hadn't signed a contract at that point. There was no "new manager."

Being fucked over by your employer is not funny. But, neither is being fucked over by an employee. I know both from experience.