To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

I disagree. OP was simply protecting herself and the fact that she has to is what is hurting women in the workplace.

@TriesNotToBeCynicalnot necessarily- if it was to cover another maternity (as OP hinted) then it wouldn’t be unlawful to not hire someone who isn’t available during that time!

How much maternity leave are you intending to take and how little are you prepared to take?
I come from a country where 3 months is standard and I don’t think they’d bat an eye in this situation.

You have just explained why very small businesses don't bother to interview women between 25 and 45. They can't accommodate the disruption.

So this is your first baby?

Good luck. Best laid plans and all.

On the contrary though I can see that you could argue I should’ve found a family friendly job before getting pregnant

Exactly this

You’ve done nothing wrong but they thought you were the answer to the problems but instead you’ve given them another one
at this stage it’s pointless training you there instead enough time them probably need retraining on your return

ride it out but they will definitely be pissed off if you told them after job offer they would of had more time to sort this

I was much like this employee. Had DC1, took my maternity leave, then two years later DC2. All good and expected so far. I conceived DC3 unexpectedly when DC2 was six months old, so had to go into the office for my Return to Work meeting and tell them that I was pregnant again. I returned for four months and then was off on maternity leave again. I can guess her private feelings, but outwardly my manager was nothing but supportive and positive. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for some of my colleagues who were overtly hostile. They had become best buddies with my maternity cover and jibes were made about her losing “her” job because the company didn’t keep her on for the time I was back working. Never mind that it was actually MY job! DC3 wasn’t planned, but was very much wanted. I don’t know what they expected me to do, though I did hear one comment that I should have quit so that Mat Leave Girl could have my job. Obviously, giving up my paid leave and ongoing career for a woman I’d never met wasn’t really an option. I put up with the awkward atmosphere and moved departments when I returned. I’d been with the company 15 years so it wasn’t a total piss take.

I think you’ve done the right thing OP. They wouldn’t have offered you the job if they’d known and long term, this won’t even be an issue. Comments here show very clearly why these protections are still needed.

Best of luck with the job and the baby!

Exactly it is an impossible choice. I was trying for a baby for 3 years without luck. Got bored in my job but held on as I was hoping to get pregnant. Eventually we decided I should look for a better job as I couldn’t stay doing what I was doing being miserable forever. Went for the new job, got it, was pregnant in the first month. You couldn’t make it up but I had to tell them 12 weeks after I started that I was pregnant. It was an impossible situation and I felt bad but honestly 20 years-ish later it is long forgotten in the company and they managed.

You lied in the interview?
I know it’s the law but I can understand people getting pissed off.
We had a new hire do 8 weeks then went off for a year. It was very difficult and we really needed the extra person.

I do quite a bit of interviewing and I'd never discriminate against a pregnant candidate (I'd always go for the best person for the job). However, I'd be really pissed off if someone that far into their pregnancy didn't disclose it at interview as it may have allowed me to hire your mat cover from the next best candidate. If you were 2-3 weeks along it's a different matter but you're not. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be happy with you and there'd be doubts I could trust you.

YABU because you think they are being off with you because you’re pregnant and that you wouldn’t have got the job if they knew.

Whereas I suspect it’s less about the pregnancy and more about the deceit. It must have taken you quite some effort to hide a bump at 20 weeks. They specifically asked if there was anything else that they needed to know and you said “no”. I suspect they are now distrustful of you and I would be surprised if the relationship ever recovers.

Then you're a shitty manager - it is super dodgy to use that kind of question to ask about pregnancy or family planning.

OP has done nothing wrong - and their reaction confirms her assumption about not disclosing during the interview.

100% agree.

Did you follow up at all while you were on leave?

Every time I've changed job, internal or external, I've had contact with the HR team and hiring manager before including shadowing days for some roles. I wouldn't have sent a teams message and left it at that for 3 weeks, especially not if I had to disclose something important.

She didn't lie. She didn't say she was pregnant, which is no one's business til she wants it to be.

It’s definitely not something I would have done. I’d see it as a moral obligation to let them know, regardless of the legality of it. It’s a shit way to start a new job, sorry. Good luck though.

She lied by omission. She definitely lied when they asked if there was anything else they should know.

That's the whole point of the law. Even if the employer wanted to know, they did not need to know, and they had no right to know. Even hinting at a question like that could get the interview panel in trouble and the company/employer sued for discrimination.

Think of it this way, if they had asked the question (illegal) and then NOT hired her, the OP could have taken legal action. Why would any interviewer want to risk that?

That's just how it works. We don't have to agree with it or like it.

They’ll get over it.

I think it’s highly likely your suspicions would have been proven right if you’d disclosed by the way they’re behaving and if they were planning on the new hirer being essentially a mat leave cover then they should have made that clear.

kill them with kindness, do a great job while you’re there and keep open dialogue about your intended length of mat leave. Discuss and pencil in KIT days before you finish and then enjoy your mat leave.

By time you return it’ll be a memory and they should have moved on from it or the hiring manager could well have moved on herself by then.

when they asked if there was anything else they should know.

The employer doesn't need to know, should not want to know, and should never ask the question.

As per my post earlier:

Think of it this way, if they had asked the question (illegal) and then NOT hired her, the OP could have taken legal action. Why would any interviewer want to risk that?

We've found the industry shill!

Trust has got nothing to do with it. The OP did exactly the right thing legally morally whatever perspective you care to take, They were there to be interviewed for a job, one they were clearly qualified to do. They had no obligation to disclose they were pg, it had nothing to do with the job they were being interviewed for.

the fact they are now giving them a hard time about it, now that's illegal and immoral!

The OP's behaviour is deceitful. If anyone did that to me, I would never forgive them. Except my nanny did. She was one and done, she told me to my face. And then announced she was pregnant, and went off sick prematurely with pre-eclampsia. Leaving me and baby high and dry, a one person business that needed freedom to travel at short notice. DH has never interviewed a female under menopausal age since, unless they already have two or more kids. Sick days with poorly kids, we all get that. A year's maternity, no chance. Go work for a big company who can afford it.