To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

This is what you were completely justified in responding “no” to that question - they are not legally allowed to ask if you’re pregnant - which means they’re also not allowed to ask it in a roundabout/backdoor way either! So you do not (legally - or morally, because that’s why the law is there in the first place!) have to disclose it then.

100% agree with this, and I don't think it's a very nice thing to do to a company, even if it is a 'big' company.

Many posters on Mumsnet seem to think it's OK to apply for a job when you're pregnant (and not tell the employer you're pregnant,) and will tell any woman asking that it's fine, because it's 'legal' and they're allowed to. But IMO this is a good example of 'just because you can do something, it doesnt necessarily mean you SHOULD.'

I know it's a popular view on here (with some posters) that it's absolutely fine to start a job pregnant and not let the employer know, because 'women have fought for their rights' but quite honestly, this is the kind of thing that makes it hard for other women going forward... If women keep doing this kind of thing, many employers are going to be reluctant to employ women of child-bearing age.

You must know it's not a great thing to do @Kinekia or you wouldn't be asking on here.

All this said though, I have to say, I have never known any woman in real life, start a new job whilst she is pregnant, and not tell the new employer (that she is pregnant.)

JMO of course. According to the poll so far, it looks like many people think the same though. 60% of voters have voted to say they think the OP is being unreasonable.

.

They've only proved to you that you did the right thing OP. Of course it's inconvenient to them but that's life! They are hiring people not robots.
If you hadn't made the most of this opportunity it may not have come up again in the future.

I personally feel you should’ve told them sooner rather than later. You had chances to bring it up but didn’t. Now they’ve got to get mat leave cover and you may not even return to work after you’ve had the baby.

Honestly, you deceived them. If I was them I would be incredibly pissed off too.

You've done nothing wrong. It seems fairly obvious they wouldn't have hired you if you did tell them, so it shows your gut instinct was right to hide it. It is a shame that is the position women are often put in but it's a fact and you should absolutely not feel guilty for protecting yourself from discrimination.

I know it's a pain for the department but it is disgraceful to be treating you coldly for this. Hopefully they will get over it but if not, perhaps an honest conversation with your line manager could help.

And congrats on the pregnancy and the promotion! I hope this doesn't tarnish it.

Short answer: you were well within your rights and women should never be asked about or forced to reveal information about pregnancy at interview. If you decide to tell them, you should wait until after you have signed an employment contract. That's the only way you can look out for yourself and that's the way it is. It's business. They will cope.

Other perspective, which does not in anyway cancel out what I've said above:

I worked for the same public sector provider for three years. There was one member of staff who I met on my first day. I didn't see her after that because she went on maternity leave the next day. And, aside from occasional visits to the office to introduce us to her latest baby, I never saw her again.

She remained employed with us through three more babies, each maternity leave morphing into the next. Her work was spread out among the other employees in the office, the employer had to keep paying her, and we were not allowed to hire anyone to replace her (we had a couple of temps in at peak times such as end of the financial year).

It's the way it is. It's the nature of the beast. We were all pretty f-ed off about it, but there's nothing we could do. It's the law.

And if one of us had decided to "game the system " we could have done that as well. There's nothing wrong with it, it's legal.

And I would rather put up with that than that women should have no rights. If we were forced to reveal pregnancy, we'd never be hired anywhere, despite the law.

But it is discrimination too.

Legally you do not have disclose anything about your pregnancy until 20 weeks? I could be wrong here. But if you interviewed at 20 weeks I see no issue.
20 weeks is early enough and some wait till this point to tell close friends and family given the 20 week scan etc.

i can however see both sides of the coin here and I do believe you should of pushed harder to let them know about the pregnancy once you were offered the job.
they are probably a bit pissed off but such is life and they will need to backfill your role until you return (there are other legalities around this point depending on your return date/week post pregnancy)
they will get over it. Win them over and proove your worth in the months leading up to your maternity leave. Be considerate when returning from maternity and just work on rebuilding those relationships.
you probably feel guilty and are projecting a bit?

All this. You didnt do anything wrong.

Given that “child-bearing age” is 18-45, any employer reluctant to employ a woman of child-bearing age is missing out on a very large chunk of the workforce. And more fool them.

Going against the grain here but I think that’s a really terrible and deceitful thing to do. It is simply a fact that a member of staff being off work for a year is really really inconvenient for a workplace, regardless of the reason why. Of course they are going to be pissed off that now they have to spend the time and effort training you then do the recruitment process all over again then train that person again. A lot of the time women don’t even come back from maternity leave so all that effort would be for nothing. I’d be pissed off too if I were your manager.
I personally wouldn’t even considering interviewing for a new job whilst pregnant unless I was willing to disclose it from the outset. I’d most likely wait until after maternity to start looking around for new jobs.

This is very pertinent, they will be able to cover your absence and not go under, so whilst yes, it was a bit off of you to not disclose when asked if there was anything they needed to know, it’s not illegal and you can just weather the atmosphere until you go on mat leave.

This happened where I worked, behind the scenes the (female) manager was furious and thought the new employee had been sneaky. The woman returned after mat leave and was brilliant at the job but our manager never liked her and she never progressed and eventully left for something different.
I don't think you've done anything wrong and I just hope your manager doesn't bear a grudge.

Terrible OP. WTF are they supposed to do now eh? Yes you’re an awful employee. They want a job doing and you won’t be able to do it.

I started a new job and fell pregnant in the first month. That was a fun conversation a few month’s later….

As a woman, I get it. As an employer? I’d be a bit pissed off.
On the whole, irrespective of the law, I think it’s morally wrong and it’s not something I would do myself. And the fact that you say it’s a “big company” etc shows you feel a bit dodgy about it too.
But, it’s done now. Take your maternity, come back and do your best.

I think people are either being obtuse or completely naive.

I am keeping an engagement completely secret from my employer.

I’m 36, the last thing I want is my employer to think: engaged -> married -> pregnant.

So I cosplay as a Single Woman.

It’s great for older women.

You haven’t done anything illegal but you haven’t exactly done anything for women’s causes and women being seen as a PITA to employ when they are of child bearing age either

how long is your maternity leave? I bet it’s 6 months minimum and you plan on taking the year off….
Hardly “giving it your best shot” if you are going to be there a couple of months before disappearing off…and then the inevitable request for flexible working followed by another maternity leave I would think

It's also happened to me as a manager. I hired someone brilliant who got pregnant within two months. I had to wait until she returned after mat leave, absorbing her work into mine for a year.

Yeah, irritating doesn't even begin to describe it.

But I still maintain that it is our right, and there would be no need to legislate for this if there weren't a risk that any woman of childbearing age would be sacked for getting pregnant, or would never be hired in the first place.

Jacinda arden, the ex-PM of NZ did exactly that. You may find the documentary about her life in power interesting

You are right legally but you have blotted your own copybook even before you started. This is not something your manager will forget. Good luck with your pregnancy and your new role if you intend to come back.

I reckon you will be fine as you have a thick skin.

At the end of the day if this company decided to downsize they wouldn't lose a seconds sleep over making you unemployed.

You did everything within the boundaries of the law and acted in the best interests of your family.

You and your baby come first, corprate can suck it up. And it just proves that they wouldn't have given you the chance if pregnant and that is exactly why the law says you didn't have to tell them.

You exercised a legal right. You have also massively inconvenienced them & didn’t do the ‘decent’ thing. Those 2 things can be true at once.

Do you think you’ve given off “team player”, “honest”, “down to earth”, “straight” and “reliable” so far? That’s what colleagues appreciate.

I personally wouldn’t have wanted to join a new team and instantly piss everyone off.

I think you’ve set up a relationship that is going to be really formalised & with zero actual trust.

As you say, entirely your choice. There are plenty of things you have the legal right to do (like standing on the pavement outside the office doing star jumps). But there are consequences for that choice & I think people are entitled not to like you/ your choices (or in my example, think you are weird & keep their distance)