To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

The Op does not work for a small business though.

If you did get the post , don't expect to pass the probationary period.

pregnancy is one of loads of things that could prevent the employee from working. As I said my db and my friend have both chosen not to hire at all. People are dishonest and if you employ someone to do a job which they then cannot carry out, it’s a huge problem.

Just be prepared for the fact you might have different feelings once the baby arrives.

I had a good career with plans to return quickly and childcare organised. All mapped out. Loved my career.

I never went back 😂 Once I held my babies (twins) I realised I didn’t want to miss out on time with them because that’s something precious you can’t ever get back.

You might be fine going back to work quickly, but just be aware that having a baby sometimes changes your mind in ways you didn’t expect.

How long are you planning having for MAT leave?

Absolutely this! It’s a business transaction on both sides. If OP dropped dead they’d replace her without blinking. She owes them nothing but her time in the job she’s paid to do in the time she’s paid to do it. Nothing else. Not to make it easier for them to discriminate against her, that’s for sure. She’s done them a favour actually because she was plainly the best candidate, if they hadn’t given her the job because she told them she was pregnant that would have been direct discrimination and cost them money and bad publicity.

I’ve been there knocking my pan in for a job and when the chips were down and they needed to save money they got rid of me on a heartbeat. Never again. Yes do your best and work hard when you’re there but it’s only work, not your entire life.

And the people who think OP should have told them she was pregnant so they could discriminate against her, and that this is OK, have a word with yourselves.

Women get pregnant and have babies. Businesses need to get over it. If the whole of society and the world of work wasn’t set up entirely and structurally to revolve around men we wouldn’t need to have this conversation.

And I’ve spent my career advising small businesses, so I absolutely understand the challenges they face.

Oh FFS. Mumsnet as its finest saying this is unreasonable. You did nothing wrong. You deserve to progress in your career despite being pregnant.

Legally you're in the clear and they should be able to cope with MAT leave if you're the right person for the job. Pregnancy is a protected characteristic.

That being said they're being utter arseholes if they're treating you badly and I'd think of leaving anyway.

Full disclosure, I interviewed for a job before getting pregnant but when they offered me it I was pregnant. I told them once checks had come back and my manager was great. He admitted it was a pain in the short term but also not my fault and that they'd cover my mat leave and then look forward to my return 🤷🏼‍♀️.

If men were the ones who got pregnant they'd be doing this all the time no question.

But you were framing it in such a way that we only have ourselves to blame for the unemployment in this country because people aren’t prepared to commit their lives solely to their work and forego families of their own or not care for relatives etc.

your DH could hire several part timers if they are that worried so you are not dependant on one person. There are multiple ways to mitigate the risk. Just deciding not to hire anyone is crazy.

Just to say, check his contract. Shared parental leave is under a completely different section to paternity leave. He might well get some enhanced - a lot of companies have equalised male and female leave. Eg my work gives men six months full pay, same as for women. I’ve had two shared parental leaves, and my partner got five months full pay at one place, and 3.5 months full pay at another. Just double check with HR if it has to be taken within a certain time limit, as everywhere differs. It’s had a lot of other benefits (for us) - we are equal parents.

But congrats on the job! Sounds like it’ll be a lot easier with a promotion and regular hours. And I get what you mean about wanting financial security and more, a better house in a better area etc when you’re having a family. I feel the same, and nursery are the years it’s easier to work.

She accused the Op of lying, which she didn’t. They don’t “need to know” and would have discriminated against her had they known. And then she said this is what’s setting back women’s rights.

I haven’t escalated, I have responded. Maybe you’re reading a tone into my words that isn’t there and should follow your own advice about taking some deep breaths.

It’s not my DH. It’s my db and a friend, both who run businesses. It’s a very widely recognised phenomenon now that this kind of person is afraid to hire. Pregnancy is not even the main reason. Costs and risks are massive. It is most certainly impacting things at a national level now.

I’m just going to have to get on with it and make the best of it.

I wish I’d been more pushy in telling them before I went on annual leave rather than idly waiting for them to book a meeting to go over terms. That’s my main regret.

Overall though I don’t regret what I’ve done. My previous role would’ve been impossible to go back to after maternity leave due to the hours and lack of childcare so my decision to go for the promotion has saved me from unemployment and debt (£6000 in enhanced maternity pay which I’d have to give back) which would’ve been awful given the current financial climate. We have too high savings for universal credit too. I really had no choice.

I’m sure some will still think I should’ve massively set back our finances 2-3 years for the sake of Large Insurance Company TM but oh well

I don’t know anyone who has refused to hire someone between the age of 18 and 45 because they might get pregnant. I have many reasons for not hiring people and it simply comes down to minimum wage and employers NI plus the increased business rates. Making assumptions about someone’s private life isn’t one of them

Honestly the question “Is there anything else we need to know about?” really did put me on the spot. My options were either disclose the pregnancy or say no. I can’t exactly say “Well there’s a couple of things but I’ll go over those when I have an offer!” as that would’ve made me sound massively dodgy. It’s not a question I was expecting to be honest. I would expect to be asked about holidays, reasonable adjustments, plans to go back to education etc but the broadness of that question shocked me. It’s not something I’ve been asked in previous interviews.

Having done extensive prep for the interview, and feeling positive about the rapport I had built up with the interviewers, I felt a bit blindsided by that question and decided on the spot that if I disclosed I could shit on all my previous efforts, so I chose to not disclose. I have wondered if it’s a standard question or if they’d noticed the bump. If they had noticed the bump I can’t blame them for asking I suppose.

If they noticed the bump, they can’t very well act like it’s a surprise. Anyway, whatever anyone else here thinks, you’ve done what’s best for your family, and the employer is not a small business owner so just do your best at the role and stop worrying about it.

I feel like you have the right attitude now. Its a shame to have started this new phase of your career in this manner. It may be legal but it's created bad feeling.

Hopefully as its a big company they can just roll on recruiting your mat cover and you and other pregnant colleague will make one full time worker when you return.

What's illegal? She's working in the job?

Surprised they didn't flag up she had been off sick for 2momths previously then had another 3 weeks annual leave booked bm

Aren’t you legally obliged to disclose the pregnancy at 25 weeks latest? As in, 15 weeks before birth.
So you were fine to interview without mentioning it, but you had plenty of opportunity to disclose it following that, knowing your 25th week was approaching. When the offer was made you should have discussed it then. Saying the call was rushed is a poor excuse. Before you went on holiday you should have discussed it. If you couldn’t get hold of your new manager you could have contacted HR and/or discussed it with your existing manager.

And I’d he surprised if you got enhanced pay anyway, being there for such a short space of time. I would have waited til baby was born before applying for another job.

I’m 100% eligible for enhanced this has been confirmed by HR. I joined 13 months ago

Are you saying I should lose my accrued annual leave which I am entitled
to because I was off sick? I hope you never go into government

I told the new manager at 24 weeks 5 days. But HR and my old manager knew from 6 weeks when HG kicked in. It’s an absolutely massive corporation, departments don’t necessarily communicate with each other.

My old manager supported me in not disclosing and said he understood my reasoning and confirmed he wouldn’t tell them either

I think you did the right thing, OP. You prevented them from being able to discriminate against you, and they don’t seem to like that.

I bet he did, your maternity leave won’t have to come out of his budget now.

Somebody told me she was pregnant before interview and asked if she should withdraw. I said the best person on the day will get the job and pregnancy is not a factor. She got tge job and stayed for many years, doing a great job. The boss wasnt pleased when he found out I knew ... you wouldn't dream of discrimination sting against a pregnant woman, would you, if asked. He did smile and say I was right.

Yes I agree, you were actually sly to do this.

It’s legal but not very nice of you.

I was really pissed off to have spent time training someone in a very niche area to find out she was pregnant and didn’t say anything.