To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

It's illegal to ask if she's pregnant. If we're going to hold women to account as liars for not answering the question "Is there anything else we need to know about?" with no, then that completely undermines the law. It would mean that employers could just phrase the illegal question in an open way and women would be morally compelled to answer, so the legal protection would achieve nothing and be pointless, putting pregnant women in an unwinnable situation.

I think the only real issue is that if they don't formally know by a certain point, then you won't be entitled to maternity pay. Yes it may be a pain for them, and they likely wouldn't have offered you a job had they known, but theres so much discrimination in the workplace, you did what was best for your career longer term.

According to a lot of the comments, people don't think she should have told them at interview, but do think she should have made more of an effort to tell them once she had accepted the job. She was right to look after herself at interview, but wrong in making things harder for the managers afterwards.

The distinction doesn't really show up well in the binary voting options though.

@dancehysterical22 · Today 05:17

The fact you actively, cheerfully said ‘no’ , rather than just not mentioning it would rub me up the wrong way as an employer and I’d feel I’d be unable to trust you.

This ^ is the thing for me. The OP said in the interview that she had NOTHING else to disclose, even though she is well into a pregnancy. That would really make me see that person differently if I were the employer.

If this is a new contract in the new job, the OP could well find herself being dumped by the company 2 years after starting, because an employer can get rid of anyone they like if they have been there for less than 2 years.

The OP could kick off and say 'they've done this because I went off pregnant within a few weeks of starting the job,' and she can try and take them to a tribunal, but as soon as it emerges that she lied at her interview and didn't disclose that she was pregnant, (and I don't even think 'by omission,' she said there was nothing else to disclose that might affect the role,) I doubt that the tribunal will take her side. And she will have to prove that the employer is getting rid of her because of what she did. They could just say her work isn't quite up to scratch, and it's just not working out.

Look I think it's great that pregnant women have all these new rights, and I want to see women protected, but I think the law stating that a woman doesn't have to disclose that she is pregnant to a prospective employer is just ridiculous. It may be 'legal' but it is ridiculous. I'm entitled to think that. And according to many comments on here, and the poll result, plenty of other posters think so too.

How could you ever trust that person again? As some posters have said, it will make employers think very seriously about employing women of childbearing age. So the more that things like this happen, the worse things are going to get for younger women in the workplace. Can the 'you do what you want OP, you're ENTITLED to, it's the LAW' posters actually not get that?

All this said though (as I said earlier,) I have never known anyone do this in real life. Apply for a job whilst pregnant and not disclose the pregnancy. Only ever read about it on here.

@plsdontlookatme · Yesterday 22:30

What are pregnant women who need a job actually supposed to do, then? Purposefully sabotage their own interviews for the benefit of a corporation?

@dancehysterical22

Be in a job before they got pregnant.

100% this. ^

This is bollocks enjoy your pregnancy no one will even remember im 18m when ypucome back from maternity leave.

Is it ? In my last pregnancy I told work at 25 weeks as required by law, not before why should I have ? I know loads of women who interviewed for new jobs at 4 or 5 months pregnant, yes it's a PITA for the employer but completely legal.

It’s a difficult one OP.

I was due to have a job interview 8 years ago (a promotion where I already worked) and I knew it was a position that they needed filling, and as Sod’s Law
would have it, 4 weeks before my interview date I found out I was pregnant.

In my previous pregnancy I’d had a lot of problems that I knew would be replicated in this pregnancy which meant I would probably have to be signed off sick at about 20 weeks.

I spent some time trying to decide what to do but ultimately I cancelled my interview and told Management why. I just wouldn’t have felt right taking a job (which I was likely to be offered) when I knew I was probably only going to be able to do for a few months before going off on sickness/Maternity.

Legally you did nothing wrong, but I can understand why they’re annoyed, especially if their intention was to bring you in to cover someone else’s maternity leave.

However, if that was their reason for advertising the job they should have made that clear in their advert as obviously then you wouldn’t have applied in the first place. So that’s their own fault.

It’s a very shit situation.

Like I said, you did nothing wrong legally…. but what goes on in reality isn’t that black and white unfortunately for us. It’s just another crappy aspect of being a woman.

They may be willing to comply but simply can't. They know that they do not have the financial capacity to cover maternity leave. How are they or their employees helped if the company goes under?

I agree absolutely with this.
Just because you can do something does not mean you should. It is legal but it is not honourable.
This sort of lie sets women's rights back because it acts as a deterrent to their employment.

This!

i don’t think it would occur to a man to disclose tbat they are due to become a dad in 20 weeks time but yet they will normally be having time off work.

Well it sets back some women’s rights but it’s good news for older women. I worked as a contractor for around a decade. When I was up against a woman of child bearing age in the selection process I got the contract 100% of the time. I’m not arrogant enough to believe that my skills were vastly superior (although length and depth of experience might have been). I strongly believe I was seen as more reliable and less likely to have childcare issues. I most definitely wasn’t going to get pregnant.

When my entire team was made redundant at work - was it legal yes? Honourable? absolutely not. This is very one sided- employees are expected to be completely honourable but I promise you that big corporations won’t be honourable to you in return.

I would never ever put any job or company first and I never have done.

I’ve also been a boss in a similar situation and do you know what, it was just a fucking job then too. I’m not going to see things as moral, or “saw someone differently” or whatever other bullshit people have spouted out. It was just a job, it wasn’t my life.

The company couldn’t give two shits about anyone.

I never get that honerable or moral crap either. It’s just a job for a company where in reality, you are just a number who will be replaced in a heartbeat.

Put your head down and do the job to the best of your ability. Make sure any maternity arrangements are done to the letter of the law.

Stick it out till mat leave. You will presumably be on leave for a year, so you can deal with on your return.

Your only mistake was not disclosing sooner after the offer was made. They will get over it. Other than that you were perfectly in your rights not to disclose at interview.

I am sure you are right about that. There can be lack of honour and decency on either side.

I don’t understand how you can be surprised they’re pissed off. Of course legally it’s fine, but really…. You’ll also be seen as someone who cannot be trusted.

As PP say, you’ll just have to get your head down and get on with it.

No, it’s just straight up practicality. My db works for himself, on his own. He really needs an employee to help out due to the volume of work and admin. If he took on someone who then declared they were pregnant, he’d be screwed. His kids and family rely on his business and he is already feeling the stress and pressure related to that.

Seeing as this is just one of the risks/costs of hiring someone, he’s decided to stay on his own and not hire. There are so many risks when a small business hires someone so they often decide not to. This in turn hurts the unemployment figures and the economy and growth of the business and society in general. Because you can’t trust people, you don’t take them on. I have a friend in the exact same situation. He could take on 2 employees with the volume of work he has, but he chooses to turn work down and stay on his own due to the risks and costs.

If we all treat eachother like shit, but according to the law, we’re fucked.

I bet the person who hired OP is next time going to hire a man or an older woman so this can’t happen again.

but what you are saying is he can’t hire anyone as he can’t trust those pesky women between the ages of 18 and 45 to not put his business first and not get pregnant. Bit odd don’t you think?

he could hire someone over 45 if he is that worried about it but then they might have other caring responsibilities so perhaps not.

you are basically saying if anyone wants a job they have to commit to the job and only the job and everything In Their life should take a back seat to the needs of the business which is quite frankly, bonkers!

Agree with poster above. As an employer I would never trust you again. Just because you don't have to disclose doesn't mean you don't.

The right the Op used in not disclosing her pregnancy is one of the hard fought for women’s rights. And you think she shouldn’t have used it because her employer should have been allowed to discriminate against her? And she is setting back women’s rights? Surely all the people not using their women’s rights are the ones setting them back.

If the employer had been upfront and said they wanted maternity cover for an existing pregnant team member that would have saved them the hassle of hiring someone that then needs cover herself. Maybe they should learn from their own mistake instead of taking it out on the Op.

You did nothing legally wrong, but you also outright lied when asked if anything else they should know about, they will have you in for weeks then you will go off for a year, leaving them now to replace you as well.

so as much as you didn’t do anything legally wrong, they were never ever going to respect you for it.

Whoa calm down, take a deep breath, the poster never said she should not have exercised her right just so she could be discriminated against.

if you can’t cope without escalating then maybe take a break instead of lashing out and accusing posters of thinking stuff they never said,

I run my own business. I employed someone who told me after probation that they had a significant invisible disability which meant regular time off work. Did I accommodate? Yes of course. Would it have made any difference if she'd disclosed at interview? No it wouldn't. Would I have preferred to have known? Yes, absolutely.
Over time it became clear that ommisiion was not a one off and that employee had a pattern of dishonesty which meant they could not be trusted - and the lack of disclosure was a huge red flag to me. As an employer I will always do my utmost to be fair and always to the letter of the law - but don't lie to my face and expect me to forget that when it comes to weighing up what is in the companies best interests.

I don't see that this situation is any different.