Partner's ex-wife said I crossed a boundary. AIBU? Please help.

[stclementeee]

Hi,

I've been with my partner for just under 3 years. He has 2 children from his prior marriage. They are 19 and 15. The 19 year old is a boy and the 15 year old is a girl.

The girl was spending the day at her Dad's house and got a splinter under her foot. I'm a surgeon (only saying so because I have a steady hand) and so I offered to remove the splinter from under her foot. I did so - and it was removed without too much hassle. Whole thing took about 90 seconds. She thanked me and was happy.

We carried on with the day.

She went home to her mother's house - and her mother texted my partner saying I had 'crossed a boundary' in removing the splinter from under her daughter's foot. I asked my partner to clarify if the daughter felt I had crossed a boundary - or if the mother did. He clarified that it was only his ex-wife. The daughter was perfectly happy.

I don't have kids of my own - so can please I seek advice/asked if I did indeed cross a boundary...? To be clear, as a Dr, I'm obviously trained in safeguarding etc... I do not touch people without consent!

😆😆😆😆

It was nothing to do with the mother, the child was in the care of the other, 50% , parent and he would have intervened had it been necessary. If the mother has been in therapy to learn all the stupid phrases it isn't a great advert for 'therapy'.

This is mad. If you’d done nothing, it would be “why did you, a surgeon, let her have a splinter in her foot all day?” - ignore.

Well deserved.

She sounds like an idiot who is prioritising her ego above her child's comfort. It's also none of her business, she was under her fathers care at the time and he has just as much as she does to decide how his child is cared for.

Do you think I'm lying? The issue that I thought it was - was indeed about consent - but as I said in my posts - the daughter was happy for me to remove the splinter (and actually even vocalised this in front of her father) who is rather clumsy in general to say the least! Even the ex-wife said asking for consent wasn't the issue (even though I thought it was) - but in the same breath, she said I had 'crossed a boundary' (of hers). If you re-read my post, you'll see that my question is regarding whether or not I crossed any boundary - and if parents here would feel the same.

Yes. Is that a problem?

You seem rattled...?

No! Wasn't me - and had never happened before. However, if you recall the post/can find it - please do share it. Would be intrigued to read it!

You've commented 3 times - twice in the early hours of the morning (1:30am) and now again...? It seems like you are on here trying to bash me. Are you the ex-wife? 😂

Not in appropriate at all. Imagine a school nurse did it...why is it a problem?

That's the thing, she didn't offer any alternative as to how it should have been handled...

Can't do right for doing wrong.
It sounds like some weird form of jealousy? You did nothing wrong.

I would say not wanting the people your child is with to perform basic first aid is abuse. I mean if you'd amputated her foot without trying to consult her mother, I'd have been on the mother's side.... but I splinter! Is the woman mentally ill?!

Probably because there is no normal alternative to understandable, usual human behaviour

These nutters live among us...

Then perhaps you should get off this thread and spend your time elsewhere...? You seem to be quite fixated on my apparent 'talking rot'.

@LivingTheDreamish So you wouldn't like any non-Doctor - or indeed anyone at all (step parent or not) to remove a splinter from under your child's foot... or do you mean it only would apply to a step parent...? It seems rather an emotional reaction as opposed to a rational one.

I understand the point about perhaps certain aspects of the situation could de-personalise it for you though...

I cannot fathom how the Ex imagines, any of what happened away from her ‘domain’, has anything to do with her?

Possibly, if something similar happens, maybe it would be a good idea to ask the DSD to not mention it to the Ex….. it’s not being dishonest, just; “economical with the truth”.

Very bizarre behaviour on her part. I'd have been extremely grateful that a medical professional had made my child comfortable! You did nothing wrong OP.

She is being ridiculous. Ignore her

Anyone but a step parent would be worse I think. And yes a 100% non-rational response. I’m just hypothesizing about your situation and not taking sides. Rationally what you did was helpful and appropriate.

what did she want; her daughter limping around all day in pain then sit in casualty all everning? shes lost the plot we have all had to take splinters out and the daughter was pleased enough. Ex wife jealous that her daughter was looked after and trying to make trouble