AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

Exactly. Implying builder or his mate has legged it down the pawn shop.

Glad you’ve found the ring.
Glad it wasn’t the builders.
All just a mountain out of a molehill so park it up now and look after your baby instead of replying to everyone arguing with you.

Oh I’m just waiting till the 1000 replies fill up. I can’t believe how riled up some people are about something that doesn’t affect them in any way

I always wonder what people that comment this way are getting out of it.

You changed your mind because of bob, not because you realised your “evidence” was incorrect!

I think PPs are arguing as OP is disingenuous . She said 'Work men are the only people who could have taken my engagement ring' and then to say later to several that it's perfectly okay to change her mind .

I don’t think people will bother filling this thread up. Your ring’s been found. Just don’t go accusing people and making assumptions and then bleating when you’re proved to have said this.

So glad you found it.

Can't believe your cleaner ler herself in and took something.

I was going to suggest looking in shoes, I'm always finding stuff in them.

I want the OP to see how ridiculous she was. I didn't see the post originally so did not get a chance to reply back then. But anyone with any sense would know you DO NOT confront someone about stealing an engagement ring with absolutely no evidence.

The OP did not seem to understand that.

And I'm just trying to show how their comments now are backtracking heavily. Given the situation again, would they still "confront" them or maybe simply ask. That is all

Well quite. She was quite happy for work men to have stolen it until that’d been proved wrong when she updated last night. She laboured the point quite a lot re these work men and what they’d done with her ring, as I said. Now she’s got egg on her face as they’re blameless.

Oh she thinks she’s right. Accusing work men without a blind bit of evidence. Not thinking the cleaner could have sorted it away. Why didn’t OP check where cleaner had been and what had been tidied away?

Well, I'm glad the ring turned up - but OP, why have you not removed the image of the builder's assistant (which I don't think you should have posted in the first place).

Please consider taking it down.

Exactly. Photo post of the “Thief”.

I literally said that in my original post, that we couldn’t accuse and didn’t have evidence. Ok maybe confront was the wrong word in the title - the reality of the conversation with Bob wasn’t remotely a confrontation. I’m not backtracking on anything. I thought they did it, knew I didn’t have evidence, asked Bob about his friend and changed my mind. I’ve not said anything contrary to this at any point.

Happy to take it down. I posted it to see what others thought of the thing stuffed up his top, but said at the time it could be sus or could be just a cold drink. I don’t think it identifies him at all but can ask to remove it

Again, you haven’t read. The cleaner came without my knowledge not to clean but to borrow something. Obviously if all this had happened the day the cleaner was working here it would have been solved in the blink of an eye

I said a while back we no longer suspected them. If you read instead of rage-posting you’d see that. If you can’t be bothered to read my posts that’s fair enough but then why comment

🤦🏼your contradiction is literally in the post this chain is referring to
You now say he's "unlikely to have stolen the ring" whereas previously you said "workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring".

but I appreciate that you accept “confront” was not the correct way to handle it

Your words were

Something strange- this is from the day in question, the assistant walking out with something under his t-shirt! Obviously too big to be the ring but makes me wonder if he’s stolen other things

If he’s stolen other things as well as what??

And you said it could be a drink but unlikely

I have the video and he is definitely holding something, could have been a can of coke to cool himself down but they didn’t have a cooler so unlikely, can’t think of another reason why he’d have something under his shirt

selective memory!

I didn’t say as well as. It could be “maybe he stole the ring as well as other things”, but it could be “maybe he didn’t steal the ring but stole other things”. Not really relevant, I was wondering if he had stolen. Seeing something hidden in his clothes I was speculating whether he had stolen, yes - I have never denied that, it was after all the point of the post

Could be but, what else would it be?

Who knows, so what was it then? Nothing belonging to you!

He wasn’t hiding anything! You’re still doing it!! FFS!

Right- seeing something stuffed up
his top

As mentioned many times now, it was a drink! Can’t have been very cold, but it was a drink! We had quite a laugh with Bob about that, the whole chat was very chilled but you’re all imagining a different scenario