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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

1000 replies

Marooney · 28/05/2026 09:15

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Marooney · 09/06/2026 14:52

Didimum · 09/06/2026 14:40

Glad you found the ring, OP. Hope some of the deranged posters have kept you entertained.

Very much so! 💕😍

OP posts:
Marooney · 09/06/2026 14:54

OliveHenry · 09/06/2026 14:37

This has confirmed my view that cupboards which are narrower than the base they sit on, leaving a ledge in front, are a pain. I've been in holiday cottages with kitchens with similar, and you can't really put anything on them without having to move it every time you need to get in the cupboard! And there's always something on them because flat surfaces are just an invitation to leave stuff laying around!

Couldn’t agree more! I must change it

OP posts:
Kneens · 09/06/2026 14:56

Wow. Bet you feel like a massive twit now

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/06/2026 15:03

Marooney · 09/06/2026 14:48

Yes correct, the start of the thread was about blaming the builders, then I spoke to one of them and moved on from that. Also correct that I wasn’t blaming my DP, why would I? It wasn’t him anyway was it. The cleaner doesn’t have keys, please stop with these comments if you haven’t read the whole thing.

Just noted about cleaner not having keys and just pops in sometimes but you didn’t see her. Bit confusing as lots of context. Anyway this is obviously stressing you out, glad you found your ring.

Pinkchickenwine · 09/06/2026 15:06

Marooney · 09/06/2026 14:41

I’ve answered this question often. It turns out the wifi doesn’t always reach it and it missed chunks of the afternoon, rendering it useless

Shame it caught the “suspicious builders mate” isn’t it

🤔

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/06/2026 15:07

Marooney · 09/06/2026 14:51

I stopped suspecting them after speaking to Bob, indeed it is all here in the thread in black and white. I was never confused at all about DP losing it, though I did spend a fair bit of time replying to posters who were convinced of it.

You really did post a lot (like I say my phone doesn’t list pages) about the builders. You went back and forth about it including his mate’s appearance. I’m not f’ing stupid or blind you know. Rather than scroll through whole thread with replies I concentrated on your posts.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/06/2026 15:08

Pinkchickenwine · 09/06/2026 15:06

Shame it caught the “suspicious builders mate” isn’t it

🤔

Quite.

NameChangeMay2026 · 09/06/2026 15:08

I'm so glad you found it, OP, but what a PITA your cleaner is to have moved it and not said!

Gloriia · 09/06/2026 15:21

Marooney · 08/06/2026 22:18

Guys we have found the ring! 🎉 So happy!

It was our cleaner on a stealth visit to borrow my rug cleaner, without letting me know either before or after she came! The ledge I mentioned the ring was on is actually a strip of space on top of a chest of drawers in front of a cabinet which rests directly on the drawers, and she moved it along with some other things in order to open the cabinet door as she was hunting for the rug cleaning product! It all got swept into a box and dumped in a cupboard in a different room. Unbelievable.

Pre-empting a couple of obvious questions..

Why did I not question cleaner earlier? She had already done her fortnightly clean and never comes between visits. She doesn’t have a key. I did offer to lend her the machine at some point, but didn’t expect her to come into my house when I wasn’t there! She is totally trustworthy but that’s a bit odd isn’t it? Only came up today when she returned the machine I didn’t know she had..

Have I told Bob? Yes, third person I messaged after DP and my mum. He was happy and replied something along the lines of “I do tell (friend) to take more care of his appearance so this kind of thing doesn’t happen to him, don’t blame yourselves”. None of it was based on the guy’s appearance, but anyway.

Thank you all and goodnight! ❤️

Grin
ForDeftBeaker · 09/06/2026 15:35

Marooney · 28/05/2026 09:15

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

I'd be very careful. A missing ring doesn't automatically mean one of them took it. I'd retrace absolutely everything first before having that conversation, because once an accusation is out there you can't really take it back.

Marooney · 09/06/2026 15:44

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/06/2026 15:07

You really did post a lot (like I say my phone doesn’t list pages) about the builders. You went back and forth about it including his mate’s appearance. I’m not f’ing stupid or blind you know. Rather than scroll through whole thread with replies I concentrated on your posts.

I said nothing at all about his appearance, though several other people mentioned it. Who’s making baseless accusations now? :)

OP posts:
Pistachiocake · 09/06/2026 15:44

Northernparent68 · 28/05/2026 09:45

It could be either of them neither f them will admit so there’s no point in saying anything

Or theoretically the woman with the dog, if she knew which way to sneak in (but I don't think it's her!)

Obviously not relevant now, but it won't delete.

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 09/06/2026 15:46

@ForDeftBeaker The ring has been found

HiZev · 09/06/2026 15:56

I have just read all the OP's posts.

I love this thread, cannot believe the mystery was solved at the end! Fantastic stuff.

Marooney · 09/06/2026 16:05

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/06/2026 15:08

Quite.

Aren’t you a pair of great detectives! You’ve worked out that I… ignored/deleted footage which would have actually solved the mystery?

OP posts:
Jo7890123 · 09/06/2026 16:06

HiZev · 09/06/2026 15:56

I have just read all the OP's posts.

I love this thread, cannot believe the mystery was solved at the end! Fantastic stuff.

I agree, it was fascinating to see this unfold!

Its also a sobering picture if how a bit of technology (the Ring camera), that doesn't quite work properly, can lead to wrong conclusions (i.e. OP was sure no one else had come thru front door, but the camera had just not recorded for a while, amd completely missed the cleaner going both in and out).

Glad it all worked out in the end tho OP 😊

Zov · 09/06/2026 16:07

Kneens · 09/06/2026 14:56

Wow. Bet you feel like a massive twit now

Well plenty of posters are working very hard to make her feel like one! 🙄

Zov · 09/06/2026 16:08

Marooney · 09/06/2026 14:16

What back-peddling? We thought it was the builders until we spoke to Bob and then we didn’t - it’s all there in my posts. By page 2 of my replies (if you click see all OP’s posts or whatever) I was saying we didn’t think it was them.
You don’t have any idea of the nature of the conversation since you weren’t there. Half of you lot are honestly bonkers

I would stop engaging if I were you @Marooney

Marooney · 09/06/2026 16:10

Zov · 09/06/2026 16:08

I would stop engaging if I were you @Marooney

I’ll stop engaging when I get bored.. I find some of these people fascinating actually!

OP posts:
Zov · 09/06/2026 16:11

Marooney · 09/06/2026 16:10

I’ll stop engaging when I get bored.. I find some of these people fascinating actually!

Fair enough! 😆 Won't be long before the thread is full anyway!

Pinkchickenwine · 09/06/2026 16:14

Marooney · 09/06/2026 14:41

I’ve answered this question often. It turns out the wifi doesn’t always reach it and it missed chunks of the afternoon, rendering it useless

Yet you used what footage you had to
question what the builder had under his t shirt, whilst you acknowledged that it wasn’t the ring, it made you wonder what else he’d stolen?

Even though a lot of footage was missing, that was your thought process, only changed once you’d spoken to
Bob…….. you were of course wrong and had you acknowledged that it wasn’t further proof that Bobs mate had stolen it and in fact the footage was of course wholly inaccurate of the comings and goings that day.

Thank goodness Bobs mate had him to stand up for him, because you had decided he had stolen the ring ….. and more.

Pinkchickenwine · 09/06/2026 16:15

Marooney · 09/06/2026 16:10

I’ll stop engaging when I get bored.. I find some of these people fascinating actually!

I find your detective skills defective!

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/06/2026 16:17

Marooney · 09/06/2026 15:44

I said nothing at all about his appearance, though several other people mentioned it. Who’s making baseless accusations now? :)

Actually not his mate but your builder, “laid back hippy biker” were the words you used about him. Charming.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/06/2026 16:17

Pinkchickenwine · 09/06/2026 16:14

Yet you used what footage you had to
question what the builder had under his t shirt, whilst you acknowledged that it wasn’t the ring, it made you wonder what else he’d stolen?

Even though a lot of footage was missing, that was your thought process, only changed once you’d spoken to
Bob…….. you were of course wrong and had you acknowledged that it wasn’t further proof that Bobs mate had stolen it and in fact the footage was of course wholly inaccurate of the comings and goings that day.

Thank goodness Bobs mate had him to stand up for him, because you had decided he had stolen the ring ….. and more.

Exactly.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 09/06/2026 16:19

Marooney · 09/06/2026 16:10

I’ll stop engaging when I get bored.. I find some of these people fascinating actually!

You do you. 😉

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