AIBU to think a twin parent should contribute per child?

[TheMumEdit]

Interested in how other people approach. We do a group collection for the school teacher every year. Another mum and I tend to take turns. Offered out to the rest but oddly no one else wants a turn! . We put in £10 each which is what we all agreed. . Two mums in the year have twins. One mum pays per child (so £20) and the other pays £10 total so £5 per child.

I’ve never really thought about it but the other mum that’s turn it is think we should say we’ve only received one contribution. The more I think about it the more I thinks she a bit cheeky but after 6 years don’t see the point in saying now. This mum is quite well off (one a Dr and one equal in terms of salary) whilst most other parents are on much lower salaries.

AIBU: don’t say
YANBU Say gives more money 😉

No one should pay 20 tbh. I hate class collections and I don’t agree with them. Your probably the parent that does it and presents to the teacher and watt apps your effort to everyone so you get the glory. I pay enough tax.

This!

What do you buy the teacher with all the dosh?

I have twins, we always contributed per child, but we're well off. Twins are generally significantly more of a financial crunch for a lot of parents than a single child would be and rarely planned. So I wouldn't begrudge a twin parent who contributed on a per family basis.

In general, I think it's pretty awful to have a set amount people have to contribute. There are likely to be quite a few families (with any combination of single and multiple births) for whom £10 will mean going without something fairly basic.

I assume this is voluntary and if you approached me to give more money I’d tell you where to go tbh

This.

The only thing I hate is horrible judgey organisers like this OP.

This is outrageous for a teacher end of year present, surely it can be like £2 each and stilll get a nice gift. Way too much.

It's a very slippery slope when you start counting who's given what. After all, you're basing it on each child in the class. What if some of those children have a single parent on low income or benefits? Do we start to compare to high income 2 parent families and expect them to subsidise the others? It needs to be voluntary and preferably anonymous to be fair. I do disagree with these collections given the sheer frequency parents are asked to contribute to so many different things during primary school years. Let's take pressure off what is very much an optional thing and not have the organiser of these collections passing judgement unnecessarily.

Also annoying people collect Christmas and end of year. It’s too much, do teachers need hundreds of pounds in gifts twice a year?

You do realise that people don't plan to have twins? It's a lovely thing but if you can't work out it's not the same as having children at different times or just having one child as far a childcare costs plus everything else then you're incredibly naive.

You have been collecting for 6 years? Are the kids in year 6? Is this the final year?
It's honestly not worth the hassle of chasing for an extra tenner.
From now on stop collecting. The world will continue without your efforts. You're not that important. Everyone can buy their own teacher presents from now on. If they want to but for TA and school secretary they can do so. If not, they need not.
This time next year no-one will remember that MumEdit and her sidekick used to do the teacher collection.
Class collections don't happen at secondary. You will probably lose contact with the twins mother. However, you can always join the pta and organise events that no-one wants to go to. You will find lots of like-minded friends there.
In 8 years time will you look back at your kids' schooldays and think 'I organised the class collection. I was a really important person.?'

As a parent of twins I say give her a break!! People joke that you got 2-4-1 but actually having twins can cost you a lot more than having children - you need two cots - you can't reuse the same one for the second child; two carseats, two highchairs, the list goes on. We already had a toddler when our twins were born and ended up needing a new car because we couldn't fit 3 carseats across the back of our existing car.

There were so many examples of increased costs due to having two babies at the same time, that I say if she takes the opportunity to pay a bit less (and there aren't many of those) then leave her to it. I also don't agree with judging people based on what they contribute to a teacher's gift, even if you think they can afford to pay more.

Jeez twin mums have such a hard time yabu

^^ this
It’s not compulsory to give anything.

Our class also does £10 per family twice a year. I also think it’s crazy but I daren’t say no in case I get cast out by the likes of some people on this thread!

She should be paying 20 (as twins clearly are not one) but should you point out the obvious to her? I'd say she knows.

Then yes yabvu

It’s a voluntary contribution!! It’s not like she’s paying £10 for 2 children for an activity that costs £10 each

What a total fuss over NOTHING OP! Get a life…it’s really not worth it.

Thats quite a lot though .30 x 10 300.00 quid!I think if everyone else is happy to just let it go really.

But you're feeding and party bagging and covering entertainment for two kids.

Present to the teacher is a thank you off parents so I'd say fine whichever way they choose. Ultimately insisting people MUST give you an amount you decided is appropriate will always be problematic.

Well as a twin parent this has made me majorly paranoid. Mine are in separate classes with different teachers so this specific issue doesn't arise. But if they get invited to a party I don't bring 2 separate cards and presents. Are people judging me?? I wouldn't think things would be policed /monitored as closely as they clearly are!!

I would only put in £10 if I had twins

I had all those costs with 2 under 2. Being a twin parent can be more expensive up front but overall not more than with 2.