AIBU to think a twin parent should contribute per child?

[TheMumEdit]

Interested in how other people approach. We do a group collection for the school teacher every year. Another mum and I tend to take turns. Offered out to the rest but oddly no one else wants a turn! . We put in £10 each which is what we all agreed. . Two mums in the year have twins. One mum pays per child (so £20) and the other pays £10 total so £5 per child.

I’ve never really thought about it but the other mum that’s turn it is think we should say we’ve only received one contribution. The more I think about it the more I thinks she a bit cheeky but after 6 years don’t see the point in saying now. This mum is quite well off (one a Dr and one equal in terms of salary) whilst most other parents are on much lower salaries.

AIBU: don’t say
YANBU Say gives more money 😉

You shouldn't be requiring anybody to contribute and the amount should be a choice. Twin mums have to buy 2 of most things, so maybe they have no option but to just pay for one of things that don't matter at all.

Setting any expected amount is unreasonable full stop. I've organised the collection before. I take no notice of who has contributed or how much each, just the total I have at the end.

YABVU to have a minimum amount at all.

I have twins and there was a time I would have bent over backwards making sure I’d done the £20 but these days I’d give £10 to cover both rather than stretching to £20 to appease people like the op, who will no doubt talk about you no matter what you do. I’d rather keep the tenner!

The twins are in the same class? Contributing the same amount as all the other families to is fine.
Don't worry, there's lots of other extra costs involved with having twins we have to pay out for so we're not being tight 😊

Nasty minded and petty. Be better than this.

This is your opportunity to stop it being so unpleasant. Start a new tradition of making it clear there is no expectation of giving anything at all and certainly no pressure for it to be a set amount.

That’s ridiculous. You are so unreasonable.

A group collection for the teacher. Gawd.
I thought work collections were bad enough.

I think you sound vile.

You have known her for years.

I am guessing you haven’t liked her for years either

Is there really though? Different to having 2 DC 2 years apart?

I don't think OP is right on this occasion because the whole thing should be voluntary, but there have been occasions when acomodations for twin parents have grated.

Good grief, this is so petty. Just say it’s £10 per family and leave it at that.

I’ve had to do collections before so I know what a PITA it is but you’re making it harder than it needs to be.

God these self-appointed do-gooders really let the power go to their heads, don't they?

Twins are expensive and even though you happen to know all about the parent's finances, £10 is fine.

Im the class present organiser (for my sins! Haha), every child's name is on the card regardless of whether their parent paid, part paid or didnt pay at all. We do have a suggested amount.

I also have an older child, I give a smaller amount into the group present as I tend to give a separate gift to the teacher as well so ill put in a fiver then do a separate present (he has adhd so I like to acknowledge the additional work teacher does for him)

I am aware of that. But all the children’s names are on the card. Give as agree or do your own thing. Both are a choice

Who agreed it? Not every single parent being asked to contribute, I bet.
I think it's fair to say 'we suggest £10 per child', but it shouldn't be a definite amount - people should be able to give what they want/can afford. Even children whose parents have not contributed anything should have their name on the card, unless the parents have specifically said they'll do their own thing.

You are being unreasonable and very judgmental. Who cares what they earn/how they spend their money? That's their business. It's totally up to them how much they give, and not for you to police. It shouldn't be as black and white as 'give as agreed or do your own thing'

HAHAHAHAHHAH. Yes it’s super cheap having twins. Get it all out of the way at once and all that

Oh behalf of twin mums, I apologise.

Have you stopped to consider that twins are bloody expensive? Double buggy, 2 highchairs, 2 cots, 2 lots of clothes if you have b/g twins like I did. 2 haircuts each time, 2 lots of fees for clubs, 2 lots of nursery fees and school trips. FYI maternity pay is the same if you have multiples vs a singleton.

I usually contribute £15 for parties and did contribute £20 for teacher gifts when they were in the same class but stop being so judgey! I organised the class gift for the class teacher who left at Easter. Some parents paid £5, some £10 and some paid more. Given we are on our 6th class teacher and only in Y1, I think the parents have been generous!

It is horrible to think that people such as the OP have offered to arrange something like this but then use the intel they are privy to, to judge and start mumsnet threads about where they let rip about them. I hate it.

Yuck - I hate everything about these bloody collections.

YABU for even setting a minimum amount on what should be an optional donation.

It's nice of you to organise. It's not kind to monitor how much is put in. Everyone should be on the card, even if you don't contribute. I wish these group collections didn't happen, and I know lots of Teachers are really embarassed by them. I take a bottle of fizz or something else my Teacher mate at the school finds out what they like (sometimes it's a coffee voucher) and get my kid to write a nice thank you card with at least 3 sentences.

I have done a few turns of organising the teacher gift and also buy for the TAs and additional staff in the classroom. We suggest an amount per child and some parents gift more and some less. I don't think it's that deep to be honest.

The teacher still gets a good gift either way and we write all the children's names in the cards regardless of who donated.

Thank god it's the last year of primary after 11 long years!

I think it’s incredibly mean. They’re two separate people! But then I grew up in a
family with multiple sets of twins and the fuckwittery I’ve seen over the years is insane.

Oh God it's that time of year again! I used to laugh at MIL coming home with a boot full of presents as head teacher then giving them all away to family and friends. There's only so many mugs, key rings, pens, chocolate (caused migraines) plants, candles and wine a person can have.

Seriously, a card with a message off each child is sufficient.