AIBU to think a twin parent should contribute per child?

[TheMumEdit]

Interested in how other people approach. We do a group collection for the school teacher every year. Another mum and I tend to take turns. Offered out to the rest but oddly no one else wants a turn! . We put in £10 each which is what we all agreed. . Two mums in the year have twins. One mum pays per child (so £20) and the other pays £10 total so £5 per child.

I’ve never really thought about it but the other mum that’s turn it is think we should say we’ve only received one contribution. The more I think about it the more I thinks she a bit cheeky but after 6 years don’t see the point in saying now. This mum is quite well off (one a Dr and one equal in terms of salary) whilst most other parents are on much lower salaries.

AIBU: don’t say
YANBU Say gives more money 😉

She should pay £20.

we also have twins in our year group. And if one is invited to a party, the mum sends both with one gift.

Does it really matter?

The teacher taught both children not one - so yes I agree she’s being cheeky- if you are correct she is well off.

Would I say anything- no not after 6 years probably the earlier years was the time but I’m guessing their primary school days are almost done anyway soon

Maybe she can only afford £5 per child? This is why I don’t like group collections. Does it matter?? I bet the teacher doesn’t want their gift to be a source of stress.

It's not up to you what someone else pays. Even if your agreed amount is £10 per child, ultimately it's up to the parent to decide what they want to contribute.

Well, I can see that with children in different year groups you’d pay £20, but that being said my children will be in the same primary school class (although not twins) and I don’t think I’d put in £20.

I'm a twin mama & I'd put in double. But also wouldn't expect to be berated if I only put in for 1. It's a gift collection not compulsory.

It's a voluntary contribution. Gift should only be purchased after all voluntary contributions have been collected.

When we’ve done a class collection before it has been a voluntary donation, of any amount. The person collecting waits until all the donations are in before seeing what the budget is to spend. No one would be called out for putting in more or less than anyone else. Surely it’s like for for things like donations to workplace big birthdays/colleagues leaving etc?

She clearly can. She was one that said £10
per child when we voted but seems she thinks twins are one

I have twins and would pay £20 but it isn't something I'd be making a fuss about. Let it go.

I hate the collection police at schools. Parents should donate what they can afford, or what they want to. Stop keeping score! How petty

I am aware of that. But all the children’s names are on the card. Give as agree or do your own thing. Both are a choice

After 6 years it's too late to say anything.

Does it really matter? she doesn’t have to pay anything if she doesn’t want too, it’s a voluntary thing not a gun to her head. YABU and yabu to do collections for teachers.

What exactly is this collection for? Anything should be entirely voluntary, and there should be no pressure, even indirect, to contribute at all.

If you do a group collection for a teacher present at £10 per child and all the class puts in do you really think the teacher is going to notice or not have enough money spent on them? It’s a collection, it’s voluntary it’s not mandatory. Leave her alone to contribute what she wants

It doesn't matter. And all the children's names should be on the card even if their parents haven't contributed. That's the nice thing to do.

You specifically remember that 6 yrs ago she agreed to £10 per child?

Or the amount changes every year, she agreed to £10 this year, but in previous years has always paid just one amount, rather than double?

Besides if theres 30 kids surely £290 or whatever is enough? £10 per child is silly.

Teacher will have to declare a gift worth that amount

This depends entirely on the family’s financial situation. I would usually take the view that people are trying their best/ acting with best intentions because to think otherwise poisons many situations.

I guess if contribution is marked as “£10 per family” she’s right.

If it’s requested as “£10 per child” that’s different.

Except - no one is obligated to contribute anyway!

There are 24 and we buy the TA off of that and office staff

Good God. Hark at you lot! There may be many reasons why only £10 was given!! ITS A GIFT, the teacher won't care or think about it