AIBU for not thanking drivers for stopping at crossings?

[PedestrianAbuse]

Just wondering if I'm the one who's behaving unusually here!

I have to cross a busy main road to get to/from my DD's nursery. There are a couple of zebra crossings on the road but a lot of drivers barrel through them without even considering stopping for pedestrians. There are also cycle lanes to cross and cyclists IME are even less likely to stop at crossings - so there's a bit going on when trying to get across this particular road, I'm always quite cautious doing it.

I've twice had drivers put their windows down and shout at me for not thanking them for stopping, and I just wondered if I'm the only person who doesn't actually think it's necessary to thank a driver for stopping for me at a zebra crossing? I mean, they are supposed to stop! I certainly don't expect it when I'm driving - I think not mowing down pedestrians is kind of a bare minimum requirement, I don't expect thanks for not breaking the law (and as a pedestrian I don't expect drivers to thank me for being sensible and not just leaping into the road at the last moment either!).

I would always thank someone who stopped to let me cross in front of them somewhere where there isn't a crossing point, but it has never occurred to me to think that someone who stops at a crossing or red light is somehow doing me a favour by letting me across the road. Is it just me who doesn't get why some drivers are so offended?

YABU - you should always thank drivers for stopping, even if they're supposed to do it
YANBU - it's just basic rules of the road that they should be following anyway, thanking them is excessive

No it’s not. It’s compulsory to stop

YANBU.

Or should we also thank them for stopping at red lights or driving through green lights?

Incorrect. It's advisory to stop. It's encouraged. It is not mandatory.

Spot the difference between pedestrian lights and zebra crossings. Fuck me I need to hide this insane thread.

Nobody is forcing you to keep posting. You probably haven't even realised that you've reached such an entrenched position on this that your posts now read as though you are advocating for motorists never to stop at crossings, while you call everyone who doesn't agree with you ignorant or insane.

Only if the pedestrian is already on the crossing.

An entrenched position? Bloody hell love you're the one analysing a simple every day transaction that is meaningless if you are courteous. I drove to Tescos today and both there and back, I gave way to pedestrians either waiting to cross or whether I could be proactive in seeing they were approaching the crossing. All times the people waved their thanks. You mentioned earlier you has been ruminating over the language used in the highway code. "Nobody is forcing you" to show common decency. If you want to keep being told you're ignorant you shouldn't have a problem as you don't think you should say thank you. That's it.

@LuckyHazelFox As I said, you don't even realise how your posts read. Take a break from social media, "love", and go and patronise some people in the real world instead.

I always make some sort of gesture of thanks. It’s free and only takes a second!
I think yabu to complain about drivers “barrelling through” if you can’t be bothered to thank those that do stop “even though they are obliged to”.
My reasoning is that the more often people say thanks therefore more people are likely to bother to stop. If no one ever bothered as a pedestrian I think I could sometimes be waiting a loooong time!

At a zebra crossing though? We're not talking crossing in the middle of the road. I regularly do this and wait, often a longish time, even when drivers wave me over (dangerous)
I thank drivers every time at a zebra crossing but thats my own hang up and part of it is making eye with drivers to ensure they are stopping.

I will say, drivers aren't owed this for deigning not to kill pedestrians abd even letting them across the road.

The majority of people thank people. I personally always do, just basic manners.

It’s a little bit rude not to thank a driver for stopping, but not a big deal.

However, it’s very rude of a driver to shout at a pedestrian for not saying thank you!

Yes, of course they’re different, but the principle is the same, a driver has abided by the Highway Code and stopped to let you cross.

Nope. They drive by license not right and I don’t usually thank them unless they are being extra patient, eg if I had a small child with me and it took us a bit longer to cross. They are obliged to wait and in general could do with remembering they are not doing you a favour. Drivers round my way start driving when you are still on the crossing and are frankly lucky I’m not filming them and reporting them.

in road hierarchy pedestrians are most inconvenienced- we have to take circuitous routes to find safe crossings, lights sequences are stacked in favour of minimising motorists waiting time not giving adequate time for elderly or young children to cross often. So the convenience is stacked in favour of those expending least personal energy in getting around, but also those taking up more public space to do so and often polluting our air.

I’m cyclist too and always thank drivers who hang back when I give a hand signal to turn, or who allow me priority when passing on a parked up road - eg they wait if cars are parked up on their side as you would for a car rather than proceeding and squeezing me into the door zone of the cars on my side, and I’ve thanked drivers who give me plenty of space when overtaking. They should be doing that anyway but I like to thank them for their awareness of the more vulnerable road user. And it’s rare enough that people are that courteous so I like to appreciate it. I do my part by using hand signals and pulling in when I can to allow them to pass. So it’s not like I’m against being polite and friendly. But on crossings, no need.

@Shade17 nope. Check rule 195 of the code. It’s been updated in recent years. You MUST stop if someone is on a crossing. And you SHOULD stop if there is someone waiting to cross. And now applies to parallel crossings too for pedestrians and cyclists.

this was to reinforce the hierarchy of road users and reduce pedestrian deaths. In my area on a busy high street two people have been killed using a pedestrian crossing by drivers not paying attention and not being able to stop in time when entering the crossing.

another rule change which a lot of drivers seem unaware of is that pedestrians waiting to cross a side road that you are turning into when driving have priority and the driver should wait to let them cross.

It seems although remaining up to date with rules changes is a condition of holding a driving license, many people don’t seem to know about it.

So if someone must do something then you should never thank them

To be honest it’s polite to do this. I don’t understand why people think lack
of manners is Ok? So many people nowadays are rude and just don’t have basic manners of consideration. People throw rubbish, barely say please and thank you. It’s a total lack of any standards. And no, people shouldn’t yell either.

So this is what you say when they shout at you - thank you for following rule 195 of the highway code and not being a dick!

I am big “Thank you” person, to the bus driver, stranger, anyone allowing me across the road with no crossing. I rarely thank anyone on a crossing. I thought they had to stop and didn’t think to say thank you. I do walk across briskly to save them time.

This is a weird one, whilst I get annoyed when I'm driving at the expectation of thanks for another car stopping, when it's my right of way at a road junction. I do feel that a little wave of thanks at a zebra is appropriate and just polite.

But I get the rage if I let a car go in front etc and they don't acknowledge it.......

As far as I’m aware the HC was worded that way in regards to zebra crossings before the latest changes came in. There’s still no legal requirement to stop for pedestrians waiting to cross, only if they’re already on the crossing.

I have read this as well but it seems to me to be nonsensical. Is the pedestrian supposed to play a game of chicken and just walk out in front of traffic secure in the knowledge that if they are hit by a car they have the law on their side? What's the practical difference between "should" and "must" in this case?

This is a great post and I totally agree with you.

This is what I was saying in a post further up the thread - it's pretty ludicrous that the Highway Code basically says drivers don't have to stop if the pedestrian is at the side of the road but that pedestrians shouldn't step into the road until the traffic has stopped. If everyone took that literally how would anyone ever get across the road?!

And as I said earlier, you would fail your driving test if you failed to stop for a pedestrian who was waiting at a crossing - so it's a complete contradiction.

I do think it’s polite to thank a driver. As it appears do you.

But like many people these days, your politeness disappears online, as your posts, laughing emojis etc are pretty rude. Inconsistent courtesy from you it seems!