AIBU for not thanking drivers for stopping at crossings?

[PedestrianAbuse]

Just wondering if I'm the one who's behaving unusually here!

I have to cross a busy main road to get to/from my DD's nursery. There are a couple of zebra crossings on the road but a lot of drivers barrel through them without even considering stopping for pedestrians. There are also cycle lanes to cross and cyclists IME are even less likely to stop at crossings - so there's a bit going on when trying to get across this particular road, I'm always quite cautious doing it.

I've twice had drivers put their windows down and shout at me for not thanking them for stopping, and I just wondered if I'm the only person who doesn't actually think it's necessary to thank a driver for stopping for me at a zebra crossing? I mean, they are supposed to stop! I certainly don't expect it when I'm driving - I think not mowing down pedestrians is kind of a bare minimum requirement, I don't expect thanks for not breaking the law (and as a pedestrian I don't expect drivers to thank me for being sensible and not just leaping into the road at the last moment either!).

I would always thank someone who stopped to let me cross in front of them somewhere where there isn't a crossing point, but it has never occurred to me to think that someone who stops at a crossing or red light is somehow doing me a favour by letting me across the road. Is it just me who doesn't get why some drivers are so offended?

YABU - you should always thank drivers for stopping, even if they're supposed to do it
YANBU - it's just basic rules of the road that they should be following anyway, thanking them is excessive

I guess I don't consider it a deliberate lack of manners - I can't thank absolutely everyone for absolutely everything that might help me get through the day or I wouldn't get anything else done! I'm usually concentrating on something else when I'm crossing a busy road - both times this has happened I've been pushing a pushchair, speaking to my DD and checking for cyclists coming bombing down the cycle lane who I might not have been able to see because of the traffic. Crossing the road safely has to be my priority, and I don't think that makes me intentionally bad-mannered.

I don't have to thank the post-man, the bus driver, the person behind the till in a shop, the list's almost endless but it's a mark of civilised behaviour to nod, micro-wave, say thanks, just some acknowledgement..

I certainly don't expect it when I'm driving

But do you appreciate it? Those small pleasantries, simply raising a hand, make the world a slightly nicer place.

You could say the same about anything people are obliged to do. Servers. Do you thank people who hand you things you’ve paid for?

Exactly this. Even if I have shopping in hands, or it's cold and my hands are in my pockets or whatever, I think just a nod and smile, if you can't spare two seconds for a quick wave, makes the world a nicer and friendlier place. Why wouldn't you?

I usually do thank them. A friend and I were once shouted at by a man for not thanking him for stopping at a zebra crossing. As my friend said, it would be illegal and dangerous for him not to stop when people are crossing. He wasn't doing us a favour!

I always say thank you and give a big smile. I just hope it encourages people to always do it, I don't think I have to do it.

Yanbu.

They have to stop because it’s the rules of the road - they’re not doing you a favour out of kindness.

I never say thank you on zebra crossings either.

I usually thank people, but that's not an excuse for shouting at someone who doesn't as has happened to OP and me. That's far ruder than someone ommitting to thank someone for stopping. I'd personally never do that if someone didn't thank me. I'd barely register it

A small raise of the hand costs you nothing. Is that so difficult for you?
You’re one of those ‘why should I’ merchants aren’t you 🤔

What do you think of the people shouting at OP about it? You haven't criticised that.

I don't thank at traffic light controlled crossings but always give a little raise of the hand at zebra crossings. It doesn't hurt to be honest.

YABVVVVVVU. Plain rude. What would it cost you to give a cheery wave and/or mouth the word thank-you?

This is The Law of Britishness:

You do a little wave, you can add a thank you- they can't hear you but it's bonus points, and you do a little hurried fake jog-walk across to show that you appreciate them stopping for you and you don't want to take up their time.

All drivers should stop if someone is waiting to cross on a zebra crossing. I don't thank them for doing what they should do.

Yes, cars are supposed to stop but saying thanks is just a courtesy. Like thanking bus drivers, waiters and shop assistants etc. All people only doing what they are supposed to but acknowledging people for doing it just makes the world a nicer place 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do you thank the bus driver for stopping for you?

Honestly, it doesn't even register with me if someone thanks me for stopping at a crossing when I'm driving - I'd say more often than not people don't, but then I can't be sure because I don't notice it either way and it doesn't bother me even a tiny bit. So no, I don't "appreciate" it if someone thanks me, it just doesn't register as a thing that I'm remotely fussed about.

I thank people when I'm in a direct, face to face transaction with them, because they're right there and I'm speaking to them.

I say thanks if a car stops to let me cross when there is no crossing.

I thank him for doing his job.

I always thank drivers who stop - no I don't have to, but it takes no effort to be polite and friendly.

So whats the difference? Its politeness

The bus driver has provided me with a service. A car stopping where it's supposed to has not.

There was a lot of publicity when this new edition of the Highway Code came out. Priorities have changed regarding pedestrians, cyclists, horse riders etc. I was one of the guilty ones who hadn't looked at the HC for years, but I bought one £4.99 and had a read. An awful lot has changed with traffic positioning and who has what rights to the road.

If you are a driver (of any age) please get a copy of the 2023 edition and read it. Ignorance is not a reason if you have an accident.

Yabu sorry

It’s just good manners to say thank you . It’s also about managing other members of the human race . Say thank you and they are more likely to stop for you again . I personally think that’s worth the effort .

It’s a bit like saying morning to strangers when you are out on a walk