AIBU for not thanking drivers for stopping at crossings?

[PedestrianAbuse]

Just wondering if I'm the one who's behaving unusually here!

I have to cross a busy main road to get to/from my DD's nursery. There are a couple of zebra crossings on the road but a lot of drivers barrel through them without even considering stopping for pedestrians. There are also cycle lanes to cross and cyclists IME are even less likely to stop at crossings - so there's a bit going on when trying to get across this particular road, I'm always quite cautious doing it.

I've twice had drivers put their windows down and shout at me for not thanking them for stopping, and I just wondered if I'm the only person who doesn't actually think it's necessary to thank a driver for stopping for me at a zebra crossing? I mean, they are supposed to stop! I certainly don't expect it when I'm driving - I think not mowing down pedestrians is kind of a bare minimum requirement, I don't expect thanks for not breaking the law (and as a pedestrian I don't expect drivers to thank me for being sensible and not just leaping into the road at the last moment either!).

I would always thank someone who stopped to let me cross in front of them somewhere where there isn't a crossing point, but it has never occurred to me to think that someone who stops at a crossing or red light is somehow doing me a favour by letting me across the road. Is it just me who doesn't get why some drivers are so offended?

YABU - you should always thank drivers for stopping, even if they're supposed to do it
YANBU - it's just basic rules of the road that they should be following anyway, thanking them is excessive

Yeah excellent. That doesnt sound dangerous at all especially with bikes, e bikes, scooters etc who dont seem to reckon traffic rules apply to them.
Step out when a lorry or bus is far enough away but thundering towards you I dare you.
Have yo say my driving lessons always said drivers should be aware of people about to cross. And not move off until the person is safely on the other side. Luckily ive mainly encountered people who fulfil the first but rarely the second. Sorry of we inconvenience you for half a second crossing the road..

When was the last time you thanked a pedestrian for waiting, maybe in the pouring rain, for you to legally pass them.
Weird isnt it. Don't expect you to, that would be odd, so why do different rules apply to pedestrians using their right of way?

Bloody rude, it’s not hard to say thank you

Not thanking drivers for not driving through a zebra crossing when people are crossing is definitely not the issue in the UK 😆

This thread is absolutely bonkers!! I must live on a different planet because where I live (in the south-west) people stop at zebra crossings because of the Highway Code. No one’s winding down their window verbally abusing someone because they didn’t get a thank you for simply driving as they should!

I have no idea why you've replied to me with this?

They only MUST stop when the pedestrian is on the crossing not waiting to cross. Drivers are then advised they SHOULD stop. I'm sure this is where people are getting mixed up.

Nothing directly; just an exercise in courtesy.

Thank you for sharing your parenting expertise.

When I get on a bus I thank the driver.

I've been trying to get my head around the wording of the Highway Code and have reached the conclusion that there's an obvious problem with it - drivers are only told that they should stop if someone is waiting, with no legal requirement to do so, whilst pedestrians are told that they shouldn't move onto the crossing until the traffic has stopped. So you could end up in a ridiculous situation where nobody ever gets to cross because you've got a chicken and egg situation of the driver not being obligated to stop and the pedestrian not being able to just go and force them to stop! The system only works at all if drivers stick to the hierarchy of road users, of which pedestrians are at the bottom.

The other thing I find interesting is that if you go through a crossing where a pedestrian is waiting during a driving test, it's automatically a major fault and a fail. So you don't legally have to stop for pedestrians who are waiting, but if you're on your driving test and you don't stop, you will be deemed not to be safe or competent to hold a driving licence.

A digression from the original purpose of the thread, but it feels like quite an unhelpful contradiction in terms of setting people's expectations about what they can or should do at a crossing.

You don’t have to thank them, although I often do.

The other day, I had a man wind down his window and shout at me for not saying thank you when I had waited for him! Mind boggles. It was one of those roads with cars parked on either side - I stopped and waited for him and when he got to where I was waiting he shouted at me! I think it may have been because he had to turn his wheel ever so slightly and wasn’t able to continue unimpeded down the very centre of the road 🙄

I did ask some people standing at a tyre place if I’d done anything wrong and they confirmed he was a dick.

I ’ve thanked pedestrians in my car-
If they wave me past a junction.. or if they step into the road and step back, I acknowledge.

There’s no law against it, although it’s often a bit pointless as they probably won’t see.

It's not the law that drivers have to stop if you are waiting at the crossing but it is the law that they have to stop if you are on the crossing.

Nope. It changed.

It didn’t. Note the use of “should” and “must” in the HC. There is no legal requirement to stop for a pedestrian waiting to cross at a zebra.

yeah but no.....

Drivers and riders should give way to pedestrians waiting to cross and MUST give way to pedestrians on a zebra crossing (see Rule H2).

Legally Required (MUST): Drivers must give way when a pedestrian has moved onto a zebra crossing or is already using one. Failing to do so can result in points on your licence and a fine.
Should Wait (SHOULD): The Highway Code dictates that drivers should give way to pedestrians waiting at a zebra crossing.

So, again..........It's not the law that drivers have to stop if you are waiting at the crossing but it is the law that they have to stop if you are on the crossing.

No there isn’t. But the HW code was updated in 2022 to say you should now stop if someone is waiting to cross vs precisely where it said drivers only had to stop if they had a foot on the crossing. The HW code isn’t the law, but with the update it means any driver caught not stopping for someone waiting at a crossing can be charged with driving without due care and attention
and potentially other offences.

"any driver caught not stopping for someone waiting at a crossing can be charged with driving without due care and attention"

Your source for this bit (and not AI).

Fake news.

None of these high way codes are legit.

The wave is mandatory.

Stopping is The Done Thing.

There's no should or must about it. 🙃

😆 🤣 😂

Nah I don't bother, they're obligated to stop so it's not like they are just being a good Samaritan!

Best way to deal with shouty ranty men (I thought women were supposed to be "more emotional"?! 🙄) is just ignore or smile and wave if you really feel like pissing them off!

I see thanking drivers as driver education for the ones who need lessons in how to behave towards pedestrians. The more people who say Thank you, or give a little wave ( no single or double fingers) the more likely it is to get through their dumb heads that the world is a much nicer place when we all behave with a bit more generosity of spirit and respect towards each other, and the more likely they are to stop next time. It’s called positive reinforcement, works with dogs and children too.

yabu...manners cost nothing

Or maybe you could wave in the first place to acknowledge the fact that they are NOT obliged to stop and they are being considerate. I wonder how some of you navigate driving through advisory and mandatory zones when you don't know the difference. Pedestrian crossing = must stop no matter what. Zebra crossing should stop unless the pedestrian has stepped onto the crossing.