AIBU for not thanking drivers for stopping at crossings?

[PedestrianAbuse]

Just wondering if I'm the one who's behaving unusually here!

I have to cross a busy main road to get to/from my DD's nursery. There are a couple of zebra crossings on the road but a lot of drivers barrel through them without even considering stopping for pedestrians. There are also cycle lanes to cross and cyclists IME are even less likely to stop at crossings - so there's a bit going on when trying to get across this particular road, I'm always quite cautious doing it.

I've twice had drivers put their windows down and shout at me for not thanking them for stopping, and I just wondered if I'm the only person who doesn't actually think it's necessary to thank a driver for stopping for me at a zebra crossing? I mean, they are supposed to stop! I certainly don't expect it when I'm driving - I think not mowing down pedestrians is kind of a bare minimum requirement, I don't expect thanks for not breaking the law (and as a pedestrian I don't expect drivers to thank me for being sensible and not just leaping into the road at the last moment either!).

I would always thank someone who stopped to let me cross in front of them somewhere where there isn't a crossing point, but it has never occurred to me to think that someone who stops at a crossing or red light is somehow doing me a favour by letting me across the road. Is it just me who doesn't get why some drivers are so offended?

YABU - you should always thank drivers for stopping, even if they're supposed to do it
YANBU - it's just basic rules of the road that they should be following anyway, thanking them is excessive

I don’t generally thank people for stopping at a crossing. I’m normally too busy looking to see if they are paying attention and are going to stop. I’m more inclined to thank those who have made an effort to stop, slowing down in advance of the crossing, rather than those who appear to begrudge stopping and slam their brakes on at the last minute.

So many of the examples on this thread just don’t make sense.

I thank drivers, thinking that it will encourage behaviour that one day might be vital for someone less mobile or with limited sight.

Taking one of @LostFuse’s examples, where the HC says you should drive with both hands on the wheel - this cannot mean you must always have both hands on the wheel, because sometimes normal driving requires you to take a hand off the wheel - to turn on the windscreen wipers if the heavens open, for example, or to change gear in a manual car.

Why would they be slamming their brakes on unless you'd stepped into the road?

I think this might be one of those things where on MN we suddenly find a whole subset of people who we otherwise don't perceive in everyday life.

Like people who don't answer the door unless they know who it is, people who hate talking on the telephone, people who don't like their own friends and so on.

In real-life, I would say at least 4 out of 5 people thank you when crossing by a hand gesture or at least glance or nod and look pleasant. More acknowledgement than a 'thanks'. It's pretty normal, but not on here. It's kind of spooky how people cluster together on the internet!

I take it you don’t walk much?

In my experience many drivers do not pay enough attention and just aren’t aware of their surroundings.

I think it is very unreasonable for anyone to shout at you for not saying thank you (though I confess that I have been known to mutter "you're welcome" under my breath when I have given way to someone (in any mode of transport) and they don't acknowledge me.) But I think it is polite to thank someone - it only needs to be a nod or a smile so hardly onerous. As a PP said, it positively reinforces good behaviour, and it is nice when people are, well, nice.
I make a particular point of thanking any other road users who behave respectfully to me when I am cycling if I can do, even if they are only doing what the law requires. When close passes are the norm, if someone actually gives me space, provided it is safe to take a hand off the bars, I always give them a thumbs up, both because I do appreciate it and because I hope that seeing that their actions are valued might make them more likely to keep doing it. I also always say thank you to pedestrians who step aside on shared paths, and when I'm driving I acknowledge tractor drivers who pull over to let me pass and drivers who wait at parked cars, even if it's me that has right of way etc etc.
Ok, it isn't strictly necessary, but I would say the vast majority of people where I live behave similarly and it takes so little effort to nod your head or lift a hand I don't really see why you wouldn't. Plus I think that the other benefit of making eye contact, especially when you are the more vulnerable road user, is that it gives additional clarity. If it looks like someone in a car has stopped for me when I'm on my bike or walking if we make eye contact and I acknowledge them, I know that they have definitely seen me and they know that I am proceeding. Being in the right doesn't make your injuries any less in a collision, so I like to be as sure as I possibly can that the other person really has seen me.

I take it you dont drive much? The majority of drivers pay attention which is why road traffic accidents are few and far between. I would have thought you seeing dangerous drivers on every walking trip, you'd find it a nice surprise to see a courteous driver stopping for you on a zebra crossing when they don't really have to.

Drivers don’t have to stop at a crossing?

Just had a look and over 400 pedestrians were killed in RTAs in 2024 and 20,000 injured. Of course, some/many of those will be the pedestrians fault and I have no idea how many (if any) were at crossings.

But that is enough for me to assume not all drivers are paying attention. Which is what I said originally. Of course not all drivers are bad.

🙄 it was a reference to a previous post. The op understood it was a reference to the Britishlyness of the wave/not-wave.

You're not understanding are you? Look at the terminology used in the highway code. Or rather be dramatic and ignore it. It goes some way to explaining why those who don't thank drivers are ignorant of the code.

I don’t understand you, no.
And I really don’t understand why you are so defensive. Actually, I can guess.

If you think over 400 deaths and 20000 casualties a year are few and far between, then you are part of the problem.

Oh please and of course all of those RTAs are attributed to zebra crossing use. Get a grip.

Reading comprehension is not your strong point either.

Because some drivers are going too fast and will stop too late at crossing and stop lights.

Seen it plenty of times when walking into town. I’ve seen drivers go through crossings while pedestrians are on the crossing and one side has stopped and see cars not showing any evidence of stopping at a red light and myself choosing not to step out when I have the green person up because I’m not taking the chance if they don’t stop quick enough. I’ve seen people run red lights completely looking straight ahead or reaching for something in their back seat.

I say thanks and don’t trust most drivers on the road because ime, they pay more attention and consider other drivers than they do pedestrians.

Do you thank the bus driver when you get off the bus?
He's just doing his job.

I always used to thank the bus driver, when I used the bus, @LeaderBee. Basically I thank anyone and everyone. I don’t think you can be too polite, in normal life.

Exactly, just be polite to anyone when you can, its free and doesn't take a lot of effort to give drivers who stop a wave, a thumbs upnor a smile.