AIBU for not thanking drivers for stopping at crossings?

[PedestrianAbuse]

Just wondering if I'm the one who's behaving unusually here!

I have to cross a busy main road to get to/from my DD's nursery. There are a couple of zebra crossings on the road but a lot of drivers barrel through them without even considering stopping for pedestrians. There are also cycle lanes to cross and cyclists IME are even less likely to stop at crossings - so there's a bit going on when trying to get across this particular road, I'm always quite cautious doing it.

I've twice had drivers put their windows down and shout at me for not thanking them for stopping, and I just wondered if I'm the only person who doesn't actually think it's necessary to thank a driver for stopping for me at a zebra crossing? I mean, they are supposed to stop! I certainly don't expect it when I'm driving - I think not mowing down pedestrians is kind of a bare minimum requirement, I don't expect thanks for not breaking the law (and as a pedestrian I don't expect drivers to thank me for being sensible and not just leaping into the road at the last moment either!).

I would always thank someone who stopped to let me cross in front of them somewhere where there isn't a crossing point, but it has never occurred to me to think that someone who stops at a crossing or red light is somehow doing me a favour by letting me across the road. Is it just me who doesn't get why some drivers are so offended?

YABU - you should always thank drivers for stopping, even if they're supposed to do it
YANBU - it's just basic rules of the road that they should be following anyway, thanking them is excessive

YANBU - you can thank them but you're not obliged to

I have been yelled at by cyclists for stopping to let them cross.

People are insane. You just have to move on with your day.

It’s just polite to say thank you.

Equally, it’s not polite to shout at someone, but that’s their politeness issue.

Yabu

How much effort does it take to give a polite nod? Even if it’s not compulsory, it improves everyone’s day. It makes them more likely to stop in future too, if you need a reason that explicitly benefits you.

Do you not thank anyone for anything?

Yabvu imo

And a driver could just drive past the zebra crossing leaving you waiting there

Its just polite. Same as thanking someone for letting you in when driving

As far as I'm aware they don't actually have to stop unless you are already on the crossing. They should, but don't have to. So I think you should thank them. Its just polite imo.

Technically, until you actually step onto the crossing, they are not obliged to stop for you.

Well yeah, of course I thank people for things, if I think whatever they have done is worth saying thank you for. Like I said in my post, if someone makes an effort to let me cross where there isn't a crossing point, I thank them for that. I don't expect pedestrians to thank me when I'm the driver in this situation either - I'm meant to stop, so I do, then we all get on with our day and the roads can be safe for everyone who needs to use them.

I always say thank you. Its no different to when you thank someone for pulling over when the obstruction is on their side - they are obliged to do that. And you've proven yourself, waving saves bad feeling

The drivers are very unreasonable to shout at you! But I always thank drivers for stopping, and appreciate it as a driver when pedestrians do. And yes, they don't have to stop unless you actually have stepped onto the crossing.

I think it's considered good manners even if it's not strictly necessary. It costs nothing, takes no time and it's a pleasant interaction that makes society run smoother. Shouting at someone for not doing is a bit off.

Technically you don't have to hold doors open for someone, say thank you to the bus driver or let someone with only a couple of items go in front of your big trolley full of stuff at the supermarket, but you can choose to to make someone else's life easier.

True. But you're also not supposed to step onto a crossing until the traffic has stopped!

Good god. What is the world coming to. Cars stop at zebra crossings due to being sane. You don’t have to thank them. Do they thank pedestrians for not rushing in front of them?

It’s basic good manners to thank them.

I'm a driver and I don't expect people to say thanks. We should be stopping, it's of course nice if people do say thanks.

You don’t have to thank them, @PedestrianAbuse, but it takes almost zero effort to do so, and good manners like that are the oil that lubricates society.

Conversely, deliberate lack of manners just makes society a little bit more selfish and self centred.

haha equally, I don't get a chance to thank drivers for speeding up when they think I have intent to cross!

I normally just put my hand up to acknowledge them, I just think it's polite and I appreciate it when I'm the driver - but you don't have to if you don't want to

I don’t thank it it’s mandatory for them to stop. Why would I? I wouldn’t thank them for stopping behind me in traffic or whatever. It’s part of driving. I thank if they don’t have to stop and do because it’s a ‘thank you for the small courtesy you chose to show me’.

It costs nothing to respond in a friendly way or give thanks when a stranger behaves well towards us. Why would you not?

I know a few people who seem to think they'll lose a day off their life every time they show gratitude. It baffles me. If you wave thank you, people are more likely to stop next time. Social cohesion is a wonderful thing.

As a driver I hate being thanked. It really annoys me, like I've done them a favour when as you say I've stopped because I'm required to. When I'm driving I never make eye contact so I can't notice a wave. So as a pedestrian I never do the thanking. More often I'm making eye contact and staring them down because they looked like not stopping.

I do tend to acknowledge them for stopping, especially if they see me arrive at the crossing at the same time as them and wait for me.

So much this! This particular road is pretty bad for people exceeding the speed limit and just not paying any attention to whether anybody is waiting to cross - and then there are the people who have obviously seen you waiting and just don't want to stop!

Page 7 of the Highway Code: You MUST give way to pedestrians on a Zebra Crossing, and to pedestrians and cyclists on a parallel crossing (see Rule 195). Seventeenth Edition 2022, Third Impression 2023.

There is nothing else to say.

No of course you should not have to thank them. Drivers who don't stop at zebra crossings should have their car tyres shot out.