AIBU for not thanking drivers for stopping at crossings?

[PedestrianAbuse]

Just wondering if I'm the one who's behaving unusually here!

I have to cross a busy main road to get to/from my DD's nursery. There are a couple of zebra crossings on the road but a lot of drivers barrel through them without even considering stopping for pedestrians. There are also cycle lanes to cross and cyclists IME are even less likely to stop at crossings - so there's a bit going on when trying to get across this particular road, I'm always quite cautious doing it.

I've twice had drivers put their windows down and shout at me for not thanking them for stopping, and I just wondered if I'm the only person who doesn't actually think it's necessary to thank a driver for stopping for me at a zebra crossing? I mean, they are supposed to stop! I certainly don't expect it when I'm driving - I think not mowing down pedestrians is kind of a bare minimum requirement, I don't expect thanks for not breaking the law (and as a pedestrian I don't expect drivers to thank me for being sensible and not just leaping into the road at the last moment either!).

I would always thank someone who stopped to let me cross in front of them somewhere where there isn't a crossing point, but it has never occurred to me to think that someone who stops at a crossing or red light is somehow doing me a favour by letting me across the road. Is it just me who doesn't get why some drivers are so offended?

YABU - you should always thank drivers for stopping, even if they're supposed to do it
YANBU - it's just basic rules of the road that they should be following anyway, thanking them is excessive

Need to up my Britishness game. 😅

Yes, so they have stopped, when they don't technically have to, to allow you to cross. Why is it so hard for you to acknowledge that

A waitresses job is to bring you your meal, so according to your logic you don't need to thank them either...???

You also need to apologise to the person who pushes their trolley over your foot in the supermarket.

"Oh, dear, sorry!"

Just put your hand up as a thank you. My 2 and 4 year olds do it!? It’s so rude otherwise

A little hand wave is polite. Or you could shout THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING ME if they get arsey

I do yes. If it makes them feel appreciated and doesn’t cost me anything then why not?

It’s sad to me that you’re seeking validation for your habit of not being appreciative of other people’s good manners. No you don’t have to. But yes it contributes to everyone being nicer to each other.

It's basic manners. Can't believe an adult needs to be told this.

It’s basic politeness to raise a hand to say thanks.

I’d be muttering ‘you’re welcome’ under my breath.

It’s simple manners.

Again a waitress has provided you a service. A car stopping at a zebra crossing has not.

It’s called having basic manners and not being ignorant.
It doesn’t cost you anything.

When I’m driving I don’t care if anyone thanks me and if I’m crossing the road at a zebra crossing I don’t thank them as they’re obliged to stop at these by law. Other roads, where I cross, apart from traffic lights and push button crossings, yes I thank drivers for stopping to let me cross, it’s polite.

I always say thank you as a pedestrian and the majority of people that I stop for as a driver say thank you.
surely it’s just basic manners

They should stop, the moment I set foot on the crossing they must stop, it's the law. It's not a special act of kindness or a service they are providing to me, they are just doing the absolute minimum thing they are supposed to do, i.e. not running over a pedestrian and her child.

😭😭

I always raise my hand to say thanks, it's basic manners and costs nothing

I don’t think YABU, but I do tend to put a hand up to say thanks when someone lets me cross, it’s a small positive gesture that takes hardly any effort on my part, is good manners and might make someone’s day that bit better, I think we all need a bit more positivity in our lives even if it’s in a small, menial way.

But you’re right in that they’re just doing what they’re supposed to be doing. I would never shout at someone for not thanking me for letting them cross when I’m driving, that’s more rude and unreasonable than them not thanking me, and is slightly unhinged behaviour. The people who shouted at you must have already been having a bad day for it to get to them that much.

The car is not king. Although from this thread you would think car drivers are doing you a massive favour by obeying the law and not running you over.

I always say thanks at a zebra crossing, but I wasn’t aware I was meant to at green man/traffic lights? Am I?!

I find the world is a little bit of a nicer place to be if we quickly acknowledge each other. A wave, thumbs up or smile costs nothing.

No, I don't thank them. If we use some people's logic, we'd be thanking them at pelican crossings etc too. I've never seen anyone do that.
Don't know what countries like Czechia do which is so different, but going to Prague was a revelation as a pedestrian. Cars stop each and every time and even before you get to a crossing. You get the sense they're more than happy to do so 😆.

It's rude in your opinion. To me the whole interaction is just a totally neutral one - they stop, I cross, everyone gets on with their day. It's genuinely not something I think calls for anything more than that (again, I will repeat, I am a driver too and I couldn't care less if people thank me for stopping to let them use a zebra crossing). Personally I think shouting at someone for not saying thank you is much ruder than not saying thank you in the first place, but perhaps you think that's okay because the "offence" of not thanking them warrants it?

As an Australian, I've always found this rather amusing :)

I find it a very quirky "British" thing to do.

You would get arm ache if you had to thank everyone at a green man crossing.

I agree OP, I would not think of thanking a driver for letting me cross at the crossing though I might give them a vague smile. They are only obeying the law. I would say thanks if I was hovering by the kerb and they slowed down for me.