AIBU for not thanking drivers for stopping at crossings?

[PedestrianAbuse]

Just wondering if I'm the one who's behaving unusually here!

I have to cross a busy main road to get to/from my DD's nursery. There are a couple of zebra crossings on the road but a lot of drivers barrel through them without even considering stopping for pedestrians. There are also cycle lanes to cross and cyclists IME are even less likely to stop at crossings - so there's a bit going on when trying to get across this particular road, I'm always quite cautious doing it.

I've twice had drivers put their windows down and shout at me for not thanking them for stopping, and I just wondered if I'm the only person who doesn't actually think it's necessary to thank a driver for stopping for me at a zebra crossing? I mean, they are supposed to stop! I certainly don't expect it when I'm driving - I think not mowing down pedestrians is kind of a bare minimum requirement, I don't expect thanks for not breaking the law (and as a pedestrian I don't expect drivers to thank me for being sensible and not just leaping into the road at the last moment either!).

I would always thank someone who stopped to let me cross in front of them somewhere where there isn't a crossing point, but it has never occurred to me to think that someone who stops at a crossing or red light is somehow doing me a favour by letting me across the road. Is it just me who doesn't get why some drivers are so offended?

YABU - you should always thank drivers for stopping, even if they're supposed to do it
YANBU - it's just basic rules of the road that they should be following anyway, thanking them is excessive

Exactly. We all share the roads and drivers are not doing pedestrians a favour by letting them cross. I have a feeling that pedestrians have right of way at zebra crossings without lights, or they used to.

I think its polite to say thanks. I just raise my hand in acknowledgement.

Now you know it's bad manners are you going to start saying thanks now?

Thanking someone costs nothing.

receiving thanks is nice as you think at least they noticed and appreciated the act (even if legal)

Being rude to someone due to them not saying thanks makes you seem about 4!

At traffic light controlled no, at zebras yes, always raise a hand.

I do a wave of thanks because the driver did actually stop while stare at the ones who barrel through knowing they’re breaking the law. Too many drivers shouldn’t be on the road if they cannot stop less than 5 seconds to let people cross the street especially in a residential areas and near schools.

You don’t have to, but why wouldn’t you? Most people do say thank you, with a wave, even small children and teenagers. I think it’s nice.

Right but you can't just run people over or verbally abuse them because you weren't thanked for obeying the law.

That's more juvenile than what you've stated..............

This reminds me of my autistic toddler who had very precise, functional language and resisted redundancies as if they’d kill him.

May I have a biscuit, please?
May I have a biscuit?
Give me a biscuit.

They’re functionally similar but each will be appropriate in different contexts. Thank you is an even harder word to grasp the purpose of when your mouth is full of biscuit, and you’ve already got what you want.

There’s a lot of soft power in being polite. It isn’t obligatory but it matters.

Am I allowed to flick the V at the ones who don't stop?

Read the Highway Code 2022 updated 2023

yes, although the Highway Code does say that drivers “should” give way to pedestrians waiting at a zebra crossing.

I disagree with this sentiment. It’s just common courtesy to say thanks and it’s part of our culture.

When the waitress puts food on the table, you could just blank her since she’s only doing the job she’s paid to do - or you could say thanks. Etc. Etc.

I always say thanks to drivers whether I’m in a car or walking. It keeps society ticking along. In places where nobody says thanks, others won’t let you out and it’s generally a bit more hostile (cough, London)

It’s much more pleasant the other way around.

You don't like it when people don't stop, so you could at least thank the considerate ones who do.

A little politeness goes a long way.

I always say thank you. Maybe they legally have to stop but I still think it’s nice to say thanks.

Maybe you live in my area, OP. I do usually nod or wave a thank you but when I have forgotten, I’ve also had drivers yell out of their windows at me to complain about me not thanking them. They are absolutely ridiculous.

They definitely shouldn't shout at you! That's a very odd reaction.

But I think it's normal and no effort and just nice to give them a nod/smile/small wave to acknowledge them stopping. Also, it makes me feel more secure that they are definitely going to stay stopped if I have made eye contact.

It’s really rude not to give a nod or a little wave to say thank you. No reason not to really

You don’t have to thank the bus driver when you get off either, after all they’re just doing their job.

just because you don’t have to do something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t anyway. It’s basic manners to say thank you - I judge people who don’t.

From car drivers or just pedestrians ? Surely it's only polite for the all important car drivers to stop?

I don’t nod or wave for the same reasons I don’t walk down the street repeating “thanks for not knifing me in the face as we passed each other! Toodles!!”, but as I’ve gotten older I have an additional reason: Highway Code/driving law knowledge is unbelievably shite, so on some level I think that thanking someone makes it seem like they did you a favour and will people treat it as an optional stop as times goes on

The bus driver is providing a service. A car driver is not. Not unless I hop into their car for a lift.

It is an optional stop though where someone is waiting to cross. When you’re waiting and someone stops they are doing you a small courtesy, a nod or a smile costs nothing.

I thank lots of people who are just doing what they are meant to do It’s polite and friendly. It’s weird that you e been shouted at for not saying thank you though. Is there more the story? It seem odd.
When I drive I try to be very considerate of commercial vehicles and of motorbikes and I love getting thanked. I like the acknowledgement that I’ve been a considerate driver. Bikers and bus drivers are usually very good at saying thank you. It’s nice.
I bought my kids up to be very polite and I regularly got positive feedback about it. I think there is ‘polite privilege’ in the same way that there is ‘pretty privilidge
’

II took my theory test about 7 months ago and remember it being that drivers “should give way” and once the pedestrian is on the black and white they have priority and you MUST give way. Equally, the pedestrian should look both ways and wait for traffic to stop before you step out.

IDK, maybe it’s me but I take “should” as an obligation. But anyway, what idiot just steps out into traffic to claim priority?! So it logically speaks for itself.