How awful was this parenting failure? Be honest

[Rubbishmymm]

I am feeling physically sick after something that happened today and I can’t stop thinking about it.

My child (3) was extremely (understated) excited to meet cousin at an adventure park today. Been talking about it all weekend and this morning all excited getting dressed etc.

The topic referred to below is hugely sensitive to me for context and very raw.

Anyway, when I met my sister and pulled up on the car park, my toddler is beyond happy, waving and desperate to get out of the car. As I pull up my sister pulls down her window and briefly mentions something relating to wider family (who were also meeting us there). It was a massively sensitive topic for me and I asked her to leave it for now but she didn’t. I could feel myself just feeling cross and exhausted after driving a reasonably far way and I just snapped and said I can’t deal with this I’m just going to go home. Toddler’s face absolutely crumbled and was clearly confused and sister then she was sorry and she didn’t mean to mention the topic and we can talk about it later. I said ok and then we all got out of the cars.

Toddler seemed to have a good day but I keep replaying the moment of disappointment and sadness they must have felt. I feel utterly terrible. I guess in posting I’m hoping for some words of comfort even though I know I don’t deserve them. I’m a single parent so nobody here to discuss this with tonight.

As previous poster has said, she won't remember it, she went on to have a lovely day. You are suffering from mum guilt, hopefully it will fade over time

Toddler had a good day. No harm done. Forget about it (as the toddler will have done).

But you caused that moment. Just remember that even young children can take in what we say and our emotions. Why do you think parents spell things out and use discreet facial gestures?

Forget the incident now because your toddler definitely will have, but think before you speak next time and remember you have an audience.

We all do silly things and we all make mistakes. Just forget it.

Your toddler is fine, I can almost guarantee they will not think anymore about the moment they nearly didn't go to the park and will only remember the fun they had. In their mind, it was a good day.

Yes she does

You quickly turned the situation around and toddler had a happy day. They don't bear grudges at that age so I would focus more on what's going on with sis/fam

Toddlers live in the moment.
Quickly forgotten. Move on and don't say things like that in front of her if it will worry you.
Thousands of toddlers had much worse days today and she had fun.

I hear you, but please don’t beat yourself up about it, you’ll remember but your toddler won’t. We all get things wrong sometimes, it all turned out good in the end 😀

It is a trivial matter. It's not your job to protect your child from all disappointment forever.

Op your toddler won’t even remember 🥰

They won’t remember. You learnt a lesson, cut yourself some (a lot) of slack.

Op it wasn’t ruined though your being too hard on yourself you needed to protect yourself then your sister backed off so nothing to be concerned about. Even if you had left your dc would have got over it.

Well, my sister actually did drag her kids away from a promised outing and sleepover on the grounds that ‘she didn’t feel comfortable’ after what had been until that point a disagreement between the adults. None of the cousins ever saw each other again!

That was a parenting fail. What you did wasn’t ideal but you salvaged it, you both got control of yourselves and put the children first, as adults should. It will be ok. You salvaged it.

The kid will get over such a silly encounter. Don't make it a thing.

I think you’re overthinking this. Your toddler will not remover this tomorrow. They probably forgot after 15 minutes of being at the park.
We all have disappointments in life and we can’t be shielded from all of them. We have to learn how to deal with them. It’s called growing up. Teach your toddler (as they get older) how to cope or they’ll have no resilience.
Keep all of these thoughts to yourself. You’re being hypersensitive

None of us are perfect parents. Your toddler had a good day.

This is bang on.
Most people will not remember anything much from their toddler years. If it's a pattern of disappointment then maybe but a one off (which then didnt even happen) will not be etched permanently on their psyche

Toddlers have moments like this all day!

sorry I pressed the wrong button on the poll, YANBU, your child is only little and had a great day, mine is older now but can guarantee if I asked him about something from that time that I still think of he won’t remember or we’ll laugh about it, go easy on yourself x

None of us are perfect parents. It’s even harder when you’re a lone parent. And if you have stuff to deal with in your own family.

We all make mistakes. The important thing, as parents, is learning from them and acknowledging them. And teaching our kids how to recover from a mistake. You’ve learned to be careful what you say in front of your child and to put their feelings first, however stressed you are: think it but don’t say it out loud: deep yoga breathing 😆. The fact you’re fretting about it shows you’re a good parent. A less good parent wouldn’t give it a second thought.

Your 3 year old is unlikely to remember. They may not even remember the day out when they’re older. Most people don’t remember much from when they were 3. Best to let sleeping dogs lie and never mention it. But if they ever mention it to you, it’s important to acknowledge you shouldn’t have said you were going home and you should’ve thought about how they’d feel. And you’re sorry you upset them. That teaches them what to do if they make a mistake and upset someone 🙂

A non-event, but one that could have been avoided if you hadn't overreacted. You caught yourself in time, child will have forgotten about it already so just move on.

I saw the title and immediately knew it was somebody getting neurotic over a non-event.

Lots of your child's days will be ruined. Some by you, some by them and some by other people. Such is life.

Her day didn't even get ruined though.

You can't change it now. Your child has probably forgotten your slip. Don't beat yourself up.

please don’t beat yourself up about this. Next time (because there will be a next time as no one is perfect and you are doing it alone! So
No second parent to calm you down etc) get out the car and take one minute. Maybe explain to your daughter that mummy was cross and is sorry? X