DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

[Z0rr0]

My DD was invited to an activity with friends today. She ate a toasted English muffin before she left at 8.15. By the time she came back at 4pm she’d only been offered some crisps to eat. I’m grateful the family took her out (I paid for her ticket which was less than a tenner) and hosted her at their home, but I just can’t fathom not offering her some lunch.

"but she's 17 ffs"... If I had a guest aged 17 or 27 or 77 at my house I would offer them some food or suggest we go and get some from somewhere.

@Z0rr0 Jesus Christ, she's 17. This woman is old enough to have had sex and drive a car. Why are you talking about her as if she is a small toddler?

I mean I feel the same and would have made sure I had food in they liked but apparently most wouldn’t.

Ds, aged 17, is autistic and has been out with a friend today. I’ve just realised I don’t actually know if he had lunch while he was out (they went into town and then back to friends house) or if he has had tea. I was also out around tea time, and the only reason I know he has eaten anything is because it was barbecue left overs tonight and there was a lamb kofta I had my eye on and it had gone when I went to get it - he is the only other person here who likes them, so I’m assuming he had it. I have spoken to him since I got in, just not about food, I assume he has sorted himself. I would definitely expect him to sort himself out if he had a friend over, but wouldn’t be surprised if that constituted a packet of crisps and other simple junk food rather than something I would offer a friend if I had someone over.

When I have people at my house I always offer them food and drink.
Was it planned for her to stay all day?

I thought she was going to be 7. YABVU if she’s 17, she should be more than capable of asking/ getting something at 17 and should have access to money.

If you’d of included her age in the original post the voting would have been very different.

I’d left home at 17 and so had Ds1
It wouldn’t have occurred to my mum to ask if I ate lunch when I was out with my friends. I never asked ds1 about his earring habits!

If she had been primary school age this would have been odd (unless she was very fussy and wouldn’t eat the offerings I suppose)

at 17 I would probably assume that they would sort themselves out. I doubt my 17 year old and her friend would stick with me for a whole day so that’s a bit different to me 🤣

if we were out and I was buying food I would always offer (wouldn’t trough a subway and let them watch starving for example)

have to say during the holidays my older kids tend to only eat two meals a day . Breakfast when they surface, then tea at night. So a bag of crisps to put them on seems fairly normal to me 🤷‍♂️

You're assuming they didn't have food in. The parents went out and presumably thought two 17 year olds would be more than capable of getting food. She didn't need to ask permission she just needed to say to her friend let's sort some lunch.

Well I wouldn’t ask if I could make a sandwich but I would ask, are we eating, could you make me a sandwich to my friend.

I would offer in certain circumstances. And some people don’t give you the opportunity to offer anyway. A friend came round with her child (about 8) once and I could hear noise in the kitchen - when I went out there the child was helping himself from the fridge.

I don’t accept generally when things are offered either - unless you are there for a meal or something, I always think it’s offered out of politeness so would say no

17? 😂😂😂😂 Thought she was about 8 based on your post. This has to be a joke thread.

Yeah apparently some people aren’t coping well with the heat.

It’s not the heat…

At 17 it’s between her and her friend. Parents don’t host play dates for 17 yr olds. I would have expected her friend to make some food if they were hungry. Sounds like they chose to have crisps.
If she’s on path to an autism diagnosis and presenting as much younger than chronological age it might be worth thinking about how you approach things in future as to be fair to the parents will have assumed she’s 17 and self sufficient like their dd.

It is strange no food was offered but as you said the parents went out so presumably they thought their child would sort out food for both of them. I’d be very surprised if they wouldn’t let their daughter sort out food for herself and her friend.

17? I thought she would be about 7 or 8 !!
I'm sure she wouldn't die of hunger missing a lunch

At least they ate crisps together! I remember when dd and I were holidaying in Palma and her school friend in Magaluf with her parents and her school friend invited my dd to come for a day as they were staying in a 5-star hotel with amazing slides, etc. Teens they were. After a bus ride I dropped my dd off at the hotel gates and went off on my own, to pick her up later on, to travel back. On collecting her, I found out that the friend's parents asked my dd to wait by the swimming pool whilst they go for lunch. All I am saying is that at least they ate crisps together!

No I said she had money for food but they weren’t near anywhere to buy stuff. It wasn’t a big deal that she didn’t eat, I was just surprised no one offered, but apparently I’m in the minority.

My 16 year old DS orders justeat and gets it delivered if he’s at friend’s and there is no food on the horizon! But he really doesn’t enjoy skipping meals (chip off the old block).

I do think your DD needs to either speak up, re food or if necessary order food in via Deliveroo/Uber eats. It would be a good idea to take a snack bar, crisps, fruit with her next time but even so not to eat for 8 hours is a long time. She could speak to her friend and ask if she’d like her to bring food over (sandwich, salad) in future.

"She's a bit autistic." Good grief.

God that’s awful!

8 hours isn’t forever though, given she had eaten before she went, and had crisps while there.

I agree to take cereal bars or something next time if she struggled

I can’t believe someone suggested the DD ask for a takeaway though 🤣