AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

[CanyonRider]

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

Or she’s one of those who thinks she’s one o the Good Immigrants.

…….I may or may not have immigrant relatives that support Le Pen. All it took was a few decades for them to forget the bidonvilles.

YANBU. Vote with your wallet. It will bring you more peace of mind.

The Reform position is not “we hate green energy”. It is that the current net zero timetable is economically damaging and practically unrealistic.

The UK has extremely high energy costs, especially for industry, almost the highest on the planet. We also contribute less than 1% of global emissions. So the argument is not “do nothing”, it is “stop making ourselves poorer while barely moving the global dial”.

You can disagree with that, but it is a serious position. Use the resources we have, stop taxing industry to death, build proper infrastructure, use oil and gas while we still need them, invest in nuclear, including small modular reactors, and yes, use solar and other renewables where they actually work.

Net zero as an aim is admirable. Net zero before the infrastructure exists, while households and businesses are already under huge pressure, is not a plan. It is just expensive wishful thinking.

I would find this very hard to be with. I’d suggest talking to your therapist about it before you make any decisions. For all you know she might be in the process of leaving him. But if I thought my therapist held these views, I couldn’t stay with them.

I guarantee the majority of the ones voting yabu are reformers.

I'd mention it at your next session and see their reaction, then you'll gauge whether they're also a racist bigot.

You can't unknow this about her so it will always cloud your relationship now. So, yes, I think you need to find another therapist.

Yes, I can read very well thanks. That doesn’t necessarily mean I agree with what I’m reading. OP has lost trust in their therapist simply because they don’t agree with the politics of their spouse. Nothing whatever to with the standard of care they are receiving. Once we start down this road, where does it end ?

A wife can have entirely different political views to her husband it isnt the dark ages,

Some of my fave people on earth are Republicans. Decent people, but their world view and mine are seismically different. While this means I could be the best of friends with them despite our deep political differences, I would not have them as my therapist. I’d switch! (Ps I’m UK by the way, just a helpful analogy perhaps; ps agree with you on the Reform front).

You do realise a therapist isn't a shining example of humanity. It's just someone who's passed a course and seems sympathetic/ is a good listener.
Inside they couldn't give a shit, are planning what to do at the weekend. Politics are the least of your priorities.

This.

Ask yourself this OP?
Would a Reform voter chose to pay for services provided by your immigrant partner?
Not likely.

You could just get an AI one.

Great post. 👏

More than half of Reform party members want non-white British citizens to be forcibly removed or encouraged to leave the UK. Nearly a quarter of party members feel the same about non-white British citizens who were born in the UK to non-white parents who were also born in the UK. Not "illegal migrants". British citizens who happen to have the wrong colour skin.

That's more than half of Reform party members wanting my DH to leave the country and nearly a quarter wanting my DD to leave as well. So you can tell me that they aren't far right or racist until the cows come home, but I won't believe you because the evidence simply doesn't back you up.

As for people feeling ignored, I'm suggesting that we shun them once they have already gone over to the far right. Pointless even bothering them once they have been radicalised. I'm absolutely not suggesting that we ignore anyone else.

You can stop therapy for whatever reason you want and if you feel uneasy around your therapist it’s probably best that you do.

There’s a reasonable chance that your therapist does not agree with her idiot husband’s views, which I hope you realise. But at the same time, I’m always puzzled by relationships like this- this man has married a woman who according to his own beliefs should not live here? And she’s apparently fine with that. To each their own.

Hopefully it ends in people with far right racist views being ostracised and losing trade.

I'm not pro-reform and will vote tactically to keep them out, but shunning people does not bring a country to a more united centrist view.

It’s not about our role in climate change. It’s about embracing the transition and reducing our reliance on expensive imported oil and gas. We have to build the new infrastructure at some point. Or we can act like Trump and abandon the industry to the Chinese and then reap the consequences down the line.

Aren't Farage's ex wife, his children and his current girlfriend EU citizens? Very hypocritical to make sure his children have EU passports and access to things the rest of us do not. I'm sure they don't have any fears of being deported as they are clearly the right kind of immigrants.

Maybe because the wife is white so 'alwhite'..

💯 agree

I think I’d feel the same as you OP, and I think I’d send her an email explaining why I was ending the therapy sessions.

You can't unite ordinary decent people with people who have been radicalised to the far right. Pretending that their repugnant views are valid or socially acceptable merely helps to normalise them.