AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

[CanyonRider]

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

As you wish.

You forgot to mention the Greens.

Proof?
But that would spoil the fun.
How could they organise mass demonstrations outside hotels after had read a posting on Facebook.

That is their definition of proof.

Funny you should mention the KKK.

Ron Firman, a newly elected Reform councillor, was happy to make jokes about the KKK on the back of the deaths of 72 people.

So you have no knowledge of the electoral system. Why didn't you just say that in the first place.

A friend of my DC told me his gf and his gf's sister get regularly hissed at by the asylum seekers who were moved into the area.

YANBU.

I can’t believe some people can’t see the difference between your relationship with a cashier and your therapist.

Therapists are trusted with our core values, beliefs, feelings and fears. You share your essence with a therapist. Finding out that the person you’re doing that with is willing to love and commit to someone who openly objects against your way of life and beliefs is obviously going to make you feel uncomfortable and unsafe - things you can’t have with therapy.

I think standing by your beliefs is very important - more so than ever now, so no, you’re not being unreasonable to explain to her why you feel uncomfortable and that you need to feel safe with the person you’re sharing with. If she’s good, she’ll understand.

It’s akin to if you were gay and seeing a therapist who didn’t believe in same sex marriages. Despite how effective they are otherwise, you’re not going to feel accepted as a person, but which literally the core purpose of therapy.

YANBU.

I can’t believe some people can’t see the difference between your relationship with a cashier and your therapist.

Therapists are trusted with our core values, beliefs, feelings and fears. You share your essence with a therapist. Finding out that the person you’re doing that with is willing to love and commit to someone who openly objects against your way of life and beliefs is obviously going to make you feel uncomfortable and unsafe - things you can’t have with therapy.

I think standing by your beliefs is very important - more so than ever now, so no, you’re not being unreasonable to explain to her why you feel uncomfortable and that you need to feel safe with the person you’re sharing with. If she’s good, she’ll understand.

It’s akin to if you were gay and seeing a therapist who didn’t believe in same sex marriages. Despite how effective they are otherwise, you’re not going to feel accepted as a person, but which literally the core purpose of therapy.

I

By the Reform thing, I meant the subject of the thread. The judging of people known to be Reform supporters.
If this was a thread discussing people's reluctance to have therapy from the spouse of a Labour or Conservative politician due to finding the ethos of these parties abhorrent, and it seemed to be a view that resonated, there is every chance I would refer to it as 'the Labour/Conservative thing' if I was feeling lazy and not particularly inspired towards eloquence, yes.

My friend’s sister’s neighbour’s brother-in-law’s cousin, twice removed, said he saw asylum seekers being booked into The Ritz for afternoon tea.

The posting space isn't exclusively inhabited by Reform supporters. Every Reform thread has posters who don't support them. Perhaps that serves as compensation. I know it does to me. The posts of Mrs B and others give me hope.

Unfounded and unsubstantiated claims from 50 years ago.

Are you saying that the Jewish people accusing him of being anti-semitic as a teenager are lying? Why would they do that? Why would the students from black and ethnic minority backgrounds also lie about his racism? Why would his ex-teachers?

Just racial banter isn’t it? Not a big deal at all. Those black and brown and Jewish people are probably lying anyway, they just want to see him fail. Tall poppy syndrome isn’t it? Some people just don’t like someone doing well for himself do they.

Just banter:

At school. Farage is alleged - by about 30 separate former pupils - to have:

• Said things like “Gas them” or “Hitler was right” (alleged by one former pupil)
• Used racial slurs toward non-white pupils (specific words vary by account and are disputed in detail in reporting)
• Told fellow pupils of minority or overseas backgrounds to “go back home”
• He himself admitted saying “ridiculous things” but disputed they were racist
• Then a bit later said his comments were not “with intent” and framed them as teenage “banter” (a bit like you have)
• As an adult and politician he’s consistently linked immigrants and all kinds of negativity (not his wife, or his girlfriend, or his latest girlfriend though)
• he’s shared platforms with known racists and used words and imagery associated with the far right
• His party (remember, a limited company not a democratic organisation ) have repeatedly selected candidates who are known to have made racist and anti semitic statements, to have been members or associates of the BNP, EDL or NF
• he repeatedly shrugs this off as ‘in the past’ (teenage banter, perhaps)

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but his behaviour seems pretty consistently racist if you ask me. He’s certainly comfortable in the company of some very unsavoury men.

Again. My DC's friend told him directly what his girlfriend has to experience.

They'd lie because he's a big political figure and they'd know it'd hurt him

In that case why aren't there ex school mates and teachers rushing to defend him?

Unfortunately that may be true. It's absolutely horrible. Some people behave badly.

How we jump from that to supporting Faridge and flag shaggers is the problem.

"I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist"

Yes, of course you are overreacting. 😂

It doesn't surprise me but the virtue signallers on here will say Jack shit.

His is one the the reason's the BNP collapsed. Again teenage boys say stupid things. This was 50 years ago and completely unsubstantiated

He's praised Indian Hindu immigrants to the UK. He wants control of the immigration so we choose who we let in.

To be fair - several Jewish and ethnic minority former pupils have also come forward to say that Farage was not racist or antisemitic. Are they lying?

Farage is alleged - by about 30 separate former pupils

How many of the 30 are named and how many are Jewish or ethnic minority?

I wouldn’t assume any of them are lying to be honest. It’s entirely possible for someone to be racist towards some people and not to others of the same group. A bit like all those racists who ‘have black friends’ right? The respectable immigrant, the one who knows their place, they have a better chance if survival/success, depending on context. It was ever thus, from colonialism to camps to capitalism.

ETA I don’t know how many are named, or why that’s important. Must a complainant always put themselves in the public eye to be taken seriously?

Sky analysed the same data

To be fair - your link says Sky analysed two sets of data;

Using the census figures, we get 9.0 sexual offences per 10,000 Afghans, and 2.9 per 10,000 Britons. The Afghan figure is three times higher.

Using the APS figures, we get 59.2 offences per 10,000 Afghans, and 2.7 per 10,000 Britons. That's where Mr Farage's higher figure of 22 times higher comes from.