AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

[CanyonRider]

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

She's sure alright. What detriment she thinks she is going to suffer I don't know. The therapist is held to a professional code of conduct which the OP seems ignorant of. All her surrounding events sound very contrived. I don't know why the left become so agitated when it's suggested fascism is no longer exclusive to the 'far' right.

So she's a fascist then?

You’ve got to be very comfortable with your therapist. You no longer feel comfortable so change therapist

There is a high level of defensiveness on this thread . Also some people trying to draw parallels with GP, fire service and teachers which are very different relationships where usually no payment going direct to that person as is the case with a therapist.

Actions have consequences . Therapist has married someone who has views that some people find unacceptable, this won’t be news to her. This quite obviously will have financial consequences as some people will feel they won’t want to use them as a result of their choice of partner whereas others assumably will be more than happy to use them and see the partner as someone who aligns with their views .

I wouldn’t use OP’s therapist but others on here would so ultimately she won’t end up out of pocket as others will step in to fill the gap that the OP leaving will leave. Freedom of choice and all that. The post above me is totally right, you have to feel comfortable with a therapist. The OP no longer does so clearly needs to find another.

No not in my opinion. Your smears only serve to further the cause of those you claim to want to keep from power. If you can’t have a grown up conversation - and you’ve shown you can’t - then any bastion of defence against the actual far right is gone

it will be the fault of people like you.

You have quietly shifted from “Reform voters are not racist or stupid” to repeatedly implying they are gullible idiots voting on emotion because they cannot understand policy. That is exactly why people stop listening to this sort of argument.
Also, your numbers are selective. You originally implied the Greens did not have a serious extremism problem. They plainly do. Multiple Green councillors and candidates have already been suspended or forced out over antisemitism or offensive conduct, including the Makerfield candidate sharing “false flag” conspiracy material about an antisemitic attack. Pretending that is just an unfortunate coincidence while portraying Reform as uniquely toxic is partisan nonsense.
And yes, Reform policy is rough around the edges. They are a relatively new insurgent party, not a machine polished by decades in Westminster. But the core policies are actually very easy to understand:

• Reduce immigration substantially
• Leave the ECHR if necessary to deport foreign criminals and stop illegal entry
• Increase domestic energy production
• Cut bureaucracy and quangos
• Lower taxes where possible
• Challenge DEI and identity politics in public institutions
• Tougher criminal justice and policing

You may dislike those policies, but claiming nobody can explain them is obviously false. The funniest bit is your migration comment. “It’s more complicated than I can be bothered to explain to you” is usually what people say when they do not actually have a clear argument themselves. Net migration hit nearly a million under the Conservatives. It has fallen from that peak, but remains historically extremely high. The public can see housing pressure, NHS pressure, school pressure and wage pressure with their own eyes. They do not need a lecture from Westminster or Mumsnet to notice it. And no, saying “people are angry about immigration and distrust mainstream parties” is not calling them stupid. It is describing political reality. Treating millions of voters as morally or intellectually defective because they disagree with you is exactly the mindset that created Reform in the first place.

If the therapist is good, I see no reason to stop . You are only aware of her husband's politics because he is an elected councillor and I day this as a person with fairly left-wing ideals. When I meet people, I try to leave religion and politics out of discussions as it usually doesn't end well.

If the therapist is good, I see no reason to stop . You are only aware of her husband's politics because he is an elected councillor and I say this as a person with fairly left-wing ideals. When I meet people, I try to leave religion and politics out of discussions as it usually doesn't end well.

It's an important realisation as an adult that reasonable people support political ideas that seem crazy/bad to you, and that your ideas seem crazy/bad to them.

For example, that they might think that people who support EU membership so they can work anywhere are over-privaledged and selfish.

No wonder you're having therapy if this upsets you.

Exactly this. Get rid of her.

A GP is not a therapist and it's not comparable. A patient does not open up their inner world to a GP. They just need to be medically competent (and some of them are). A therapy relationship is about opening up your inner world and trusting the other person. It's very intimate. Perfectly legitimate to choose not to do that with a Reform voters or someone aligned with a Reform politician.

I like this post. It lays bare the issue nicely. Minimal understanding and bombastic,, uninformed slurs are all they have. Oh and clown emojis. Let's not forget those.

You have managed to mangle them into some kind of inaccurate list, but you claim you're not a Reform supporters. Mind you, being estranged from the truth seems to be a prerequisite.

Yes, you can detect racist tradesmen or businesses and those who would vote Reform.
Yes, I would encourage all to avoid.
Far right views can appear everywhere.
Avoid them all.
Ps Not all other non British builders are Polish.
Also, not all Polish builders are racist.
Racist to assume that.
But then...
Trust u will recognise the reform/ far right racists tradespeople or businesses.
We want our country back and all that.
Too many of them here bla bla.
Avoid giving them your money. Ever.
Let their toothless fanclub hire them if they can afford to.

My fiancé has 2 flag poles in his garden. He's flying the Union & St George's cross. Should I be fired?

Class

I've already addressed this illogical argument above. People are responsible for their own actions. If they choose to vote for the far right, then that is on them. Not me.

I've spent decades trying to have reasoned, grown-up conversations with people, but I've realised that it's sometimes just a waste of energy - people who are driven by hate and prejudice will never respond to reason. So I can't be arsed any more. I don't need to dignify their bigotry by engaging with it as if it were rational or reasonable. It is not.

The irony is, most of the idiots who vote Reform in will be amongst those who suffer the most as a result. Very few of them will be cr*pto billionaires etc. There is a kind of poetic justice to that, I suppose, but I feel immense pity for those who get dragged along with them into the abyss.

I think I would question her judgment now so would probably end the agreement and tell her why.

Are we? I thought Reform were the future and Farage was going to be our next MP? How does that sit with Reform as persecuted potential victims of teachers who suddenly acquire the power to choose which children they teach on the basis of their parents support for Reform?
Choosing to boycott a business or service because you do not want it to profit from your custom on the basis of its political stance is a mainstream and perfectly acceptable personal protest.
Money to the therapist is indirect financial support of the Reform representative.
OP has as much legal and moral right to choose against this as you may have to boycott a company supporting something you disagreed with.
Supporting a highly controversial party will always have consequences. Reform voters can't expect to support things others believe are harmful and have those people carry on lining their pockets as though it was a neutral act or mild 'difference of opinion'.

Then those people should join Restore. Given Reform's policies are not to remove citizens at all.

Here is the problem....

There's a 3rd flag for a military regiment & a small engraved plaque on the fence with the names of his fallen comrades engraved on it. Still "class" or understandable sentiment & respect for people who have given their lives, like he was fully prepared to do (as was I) for this country?

I ask again. Should I be fired?

😂 Yes!

I'm with you OP. You need to trust your therapist and be vulnerable with them. I don't blame you for not trusting the judgement of someone who chooses to be married to a man that is actively representing a racist and far right party.

That doesn't really address the question.

Do you think those members (more than half of them) are racist or not?