AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

[CanyonRider]

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

Then what exactly are people objecting to? Specifically?

and secure borders is far right still yes?

and for forbid me for saying this but gas chambers are what, ultra extra super far right?

it’s pathetic. You can’t call everyone far right for basic things most people agree with - like secure borders because you run out of things to call real far right people. Good lord can’t you have any nuance in your life or is everything to the right of Zack Polanski actual Hitler?

There are lots of people who would not want a racist in their home, for fairly obvious reasons. Why is that controversial? Would you hire a tradesman who was openly misogynistic while in your home?

Therapy is incredibly personal. You can stop seeing a therapist for any reason that makes you uncomfortable or breaks your trust in them. You’re no longer comfortable, so you can stop.

Therapy is for you not for the therapist. If it’s not going to work for you then continuing is pointless.

Reform rattling cages yet again. 🥱

Reform is run by Farage.
Over 20 of his school contemporaries said they remember him saying racist things. Im the same age. I can guarantee not one of my school contemporaries would say the same.

He has also linked HIV and immigration, saidnhe wouldnt want to live next door to Romanian men (I actually live two doors down from a lovely Romanian man), his awful poster of immigrants in around 2015/6 was awfully racist (as agreed by just about everyone but racists).

Tice is much better at hiding his views but his lack of commendation of some horrendous racism in his party shows his beliefs.
Yusuf is just plain stupid and after power over anything. He will soon leave.

How many Green councillors have had to stand down since May 7? I genuinely don’t know, but I’m aware that a few Reform ones have. It’s fair to say Reform policy isn’t racist (though also fair to see it’s not much of anything, I don’t think a single policy is more than 5 lines.) But the pronouncements of many of its members, representatives (including the leader) and acolytes are indeed racist. Reform voters are not all racist or stupid, but they are often unable to articulate what it is that they like about Reform, bar banging on about immigration. Which has massively decreased, despite them not being in power. So where else is there to go? They have to further stoke division because they don’t have any ideas. Anyone who supports that is not someone I’d want to hang around with (or spend money with) and anyone who can tolerate that to the point of marriage is not likely to impress either. It’s just a question of standards.

Yep I think you should stop therapy with this particular therapist. She has obviously done nothing to stop you making bat shit irrational decisions. Go for it. Find a new one. But do check their voting history and that of their family, before you start afresh. Make sure they think the same as you.

Standards are subjective. The OP has every right to behave like a fascist and take her business elsewhere.

I third that. Pitiful, but explains a lot about why we are where we are.

How is she behaving like a fascist if she chooses to go to a different therapist?

You can make exactly the same argument about the Greens if we are going to judge an entire voter base by the worst activists and councillors attached to a party.

Since 7 May alone, around 10 Green councillors/candidates have already been suspended, disowned, resigned or stood down. Several cases involved antisemitism allegations or offensive posts.

The Makerfield Green candidate, Chris Kennedy, had to stand down after sharing “false flag” conspiracy material about an antisemitic attack in Golders Green.

Other Green councillors and candidates have been suspended over antisemitic posts or comments too, including cases in Croydon, Newcastle and Lambeth.

So clearly there are plenty of awful people in the Green Party as well. Antisemitism, conspiracy theories and extremism are not unique to Reform.

But equally, it would obviously be stupid and dishonest to say “therefore all Green voters are antisemites”. Most Green voters are just normal people worried about the environment, housing or public services.

The same logic applies to Reform voters. You may dislike Reform policies, rhetoric or tone, but millions of ordinary people are voting for them because they are angry about immigration, housing pressure, crime, cost of living, social cohesion and distrust in Westminster. You do not have to agree with them to understand that.

And immigration has not “massively decreased”. Net migration is down from the historic peak, but remains extremely high by historic UK standards. Pretending people are irrational for caring about it is exactly why support for Reform keeps growing.

I hate Reform with a vengeance and almost certainly couldn’t be friends with a Reform voter. But I wouldn’t refuse treatment from a professional who openly supported Reform, let alone their partner, as long as they were competent at their job.

These (prolific) guilty by association Reform threads always remind me of the mean girls at school. They would demand you didn't make friends outside of the clique. The bitchy we are better than you attitudes seemingly don't leave some women.

I think you don’t know what fascism is.

I think you don't know that fascism moved direction way back.

😆 🤣

From what I can find there are 15 Reform resignations and 3 Greens, one of which is because they were elected mayor somewhere else. There are awful people everywhere of course but there does seem to be a denser concentration in Reform.

I’m very familiar with the reasons people support Reform, but that doesn’t negate the inability of those voters to really explain what it is they think reform policy will do to change things. It’s impossible for them to do that, because reform policy is unclear, delivered on the hoof and changes depending on the day.

You seem to be saying ‘people are emotional about being called irrational, so they vote for a party that has no track record and no policies’. Sounds like you’re calling Reform voters stupid tbh.

The net migration figures and comparisons are more complicated than I can be bothered to explain to you, if you’re interested you can read about them. But I know you won’t, so I’m not going to waste my time.

So we should assume that you shop in every single shop, no discernment, no choices, because to make any distinction in where you spend your money would be… fascist? Ok.👍

Not controversial - I was asking Dexternight if she would employ a Polish tradesman in view of her post. She said there was a type to look out for.

This was a while ago, but nevertheless;

Tomas, 31, a builder who has lived in the UK for three years, said: 'It's true, most Polish people don't like Indians and black people.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2007/apr/15/asylum.raceintheuk

Would you hire a tradesman who was openly misogynistic while in your home?

I did once have a tradesman who commented 'are you sure - women always change their minds' - I wouldn't have him back.

How has the op's therapist been openly racist or anti-green energy etc.? Would you employ someone who was married to a Polish tradesman?

I have been a Therapist for 31 years and will vote Reform. If a client left because of my political views its their loss. I have seen plenty of clients that are "hard left" and it certainly wouldn't put me off counselling them. I accept people as they are.

I don't base those choices on politics. Probably because I don't think I'm superior to everyone else. Moreover, it's irrelevant to my consumer habits. I make distinctions on personal preferences. Don't you?

In your opinion.

I take a pretty dim view personally of those who seek to defend the indefensible. There are some subjects which are worthy of debate imo. And there are some things which should not be up for debate at all.

Absolutely it explains a lot. It explains that there are a lot of thick racists in the UK. Sadly