AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

[CanyonRider]

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

Well OP will more vigilant now.
In every walk of life. They are there. Chose wisely how you spend your money.
Tradesmen. You know the ones
They are nicking our jobs brigade.
Dont employ.
Overpriced, underskilled.
Racist to the hilt.

Yes absolutely.

You have to be able to trust your therapist implicitly. And like you, I couldn't have done that if I felt she didn't share my values. That definitely didn't mean she had to agree with me on everything, or vote for the same party as me, but it did mean she had to agree with me that Farage was a dick.

I know there are plenty of people who don't think he's a dick. And I'm absolutely not saying they are not entitled to their opinion. But I'm entitled to mine and I'm entitled to choose not to have an intimate relationship with someone who disagrees with me about something so important.

If you are doing full on therapy and not just CBT, then your relationship with your therapist has to be the most intimate and trusting one in your life. If it isn't, it doesn't work.

So yes, stop seeing her. And be honest about why. Tell her that her tacit non-condemnation of Reform (by marrying a reform politician) shows that you have huge differences in value and that you recognise you deserve a therapist who shares your values. It's actually shows really good progress that you are able to set this boundary for yourself

Nothing to do with the thread. You could use Google if you need to understand more.

Oh deary me.

I think it’s very unfair of you to say my sil is ‘a token’ when absolutely she is not. She is her own person with her own thoughts and beliefs and nobody parades her.

But this type of reaction is exactly what I’ve come to expect, Folks prefer to call us right wing when we are not, and to call us racist when we are not (I’m a volunteer support worker for the local migrants, so don’t see how that’s being racist!).

Not true!

And you were a therapist 😬

You seem to fundamentally misunderstand those who oppose Reform. We don't oppose them because we think they're all nasty violent rude people, and we'd be won round if only we realised they were all lovely like your sister in law. Rather, we oppose the very principles abd beliefs they espouse.

(Incidentally, would you mind explaining how she "knows she'll be fine"? They're literally proposing abolishing ILR.)

And also - you went to a Reform rally but we're ready to leave if it "became right wing"? Do forgive me but this is absolutely comical.

By an idiot, yes

Volunteer support worker for local migrants?

And you are a member of Reform!
Have you told the party what you are doing?

What's not clicking for you exactly?

I know people who hate reform vehemently for being too soft and are members of restore.

I’m a therapist and I would also find another therapist. The knowledge of this would really put me off.

In an ideal world you would not know anything about her. Are you sure she’s the same person married to the Reform guy? Most therapists are not right-wing, in my experience.

Good for you

No, that's not what I said at all, and you know it. I'm not sure if you have a reading comprehension problem or if you are deliberately trying to misrepresent what I said.

There is indeed a vast distance between "secure borders" and "gas chambers". That was precisely my point. Far right does only refer to the very end of the spectrum which is genocide.

Most political parties in the UK (except the Greens) advocate for secure borders. Relatively few people in the UK will argue against that, and nobody is objecting to Reform simply because they are proposing "secure borders". As you well know.

Good for all of us. Splits the vote nicely.

Would you employ, for example, a Polish tradesman if they were anti-immigration?

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jul/02/poles-dont-want-immigrants-they-dont-understand-them-dont-like-them

Would you care to elaborate?

Reform's policies are strict and tough but I don't think anything about racism at all really.

Poland is extremely anti non EU migration. Extremely anti asylum seekers.

What do you think about the survey of Reform members which found that more than half of them want non-white naturalised British citizens to be forcibly removed or encouraged to leave the UK? And what about the 22% of members who want the same thing to happen to non-white British citizens who were born in the UK to UK-born parents? Is that not racist either?

They've already said that they want to get rid of indefinite leave to remain. More than half of their members want naturalised non-white citizens to leave. Nearly a quarter basically want all non-white people to leave. If they get into power, who knows what policies they will seek to implement.

Is this kind of reaction perhaps why you needed therapy in the first place?

YABU

You cant shun ppl simply because you disagree with them.

Nigel Farage is married to an EU citizen.

Several major reform personalities are of immigrant stock.

I second that. Embarrassing.

You’re vociferously arguing that the OP should be able to cope with viewpoints different than her own, whilst also demonstrating your inability to do the same.

OP is allowed to spend her money and time with whichever professional she feels comfortable with. I suspect that you would be less inclined to choose a therapist who supported the transitioning of children, or mixed sex spaces in schools. As is your perfect right.