AIBU to stop therapy after learning my therapist’s husband is Reform?

[CanyonRider]

I live in a small town. I started having therapy maybe a year ago. I feel it’s been working for me and I like my therapist. However I realised today that she is (very very recently) married to a man who recently stood and won as a reform councillor in our local election. I detest reform. I’m married to an immigrant (EU citizen) and am delighted that my kids are dual nationals and have the option of travelling, working and living in the EU should they desire. I’m also very pro the transition to green energy. I have solar and drive an EV. Finally I cannot stand Farage and the political grift embodied by people like him and Jenrick and am dismayed by the harms caused by Brexit.

My therapist is also an EU national and is here under indefinite leave to remain - as is my wife.
Read a few interviews with her husband today and he spouts the usual anti EU, anti immigration, anti green transition rhetoric you’d expect from Reform. I don’t feel comfortable continuing therapy with someone who’s married to a reform politician, and am very surprised that she is comfortable with his views and by extension those of Farage.

Am I overreacting?

Yes. Had lunch with one today.

@CanyonRider - how are you going to choose your next therapist?

Are you going to vet them beforehand by demanding they answer a 100 page questionaire designed to uncover their voting history and political beliefs and those of their relatives?

What practical steps will you take to ensure that their non-professional beliefs and values are ones that you approve of?

I think I’ll pass on the homework, thank you.

Christ on a 3 wheeler bike 😬

This says such a lot more about you than anyone else.

I think it just means that she can't be arsed to dance to the tune of defenders of the far right. Which is fair enough, really.

My ex stood for election for the Yogic Flying lot back in the day. I refused to attend the count with him or canvass with him. Reader, I LTB.

I have to say op I understand why this would put you off.

Have you watched the tv show Hannibal? I mean he’s actually a really great therapist… he also eats people 😂😂

I agree but I would not trust someone who could marry a man with views that are so repugnant and think it didn't matter.

Are most politics based on that?

I’m quite happy with what it says about me 🤷🏻‍♀️

As we have already established - the far right is gas chambers and authoritarian governments, not secure borders.

This makes the assumption if someone votes reform that they aren't a good person. I think the greens are absolutely looney but I don't think green voters are bad people.

💯

I’m a member of Reform. I got involved through my brother and at first I felt just like you. At the first meeting I went to support him, but sat by the door ready to make a quick exit if it became right wing just as the press said, I’ve spent my entire life supporting folks on the margins of society and there was no way I would have stayed if anything was at all dodgy.
But it was so different to my expectation, Everything that was said was just so reasonable. No outrageous rhetoric at all - just common sense - in fact most folk there were disillusioned Tories.

Thats how I’ve found it, just folks fed up with political parties not keeping election promises.

But the strongest Reform supporter in the family by far is my sister in law - who is here also on indefinite leave to remain! She has lived in many different countries and her last child qualifies for triple nationality ( if that’s possible!). She couldn’t be a greater supporter if she tried. She has no doubt that she will be fine.

So please don’t believe all you read in the press. There will of course be a few bad apples - it’s a new party after all - but when found out they get kicked out. We have members from pretty much every country and every religion and in my experience the party is actually very tolerant and not a bit like you hear about on tv.
So if you like the guy and he is helping you, then why on earth should his political affiliations make a difference, assuming he’s not spouting them to his clients ( which is unacceptable regardless of whichever party he supports)?

Far anything is shite. They are the same. Reform are Far Right and pretend to be nothing else.

I believe Oswald Moseley's early speeches sounded quite reasonable - a fair deal for the workers etc.

Gas chambers in Nazi Germany were just one manifestation of the far right. Not the only one though.

Plus even the Nazis didn't advertise their genocidal intentions before getting elected.

You can bury your head in the sand if you like, and pretend not to see. It won't stop others from speaking up and naming it for what it is.

Please tell us the other manifestations - if one of them is secure borders ..... I think you have a problem of scope creep.

“Far anything is shite” is not an argument. It is a bumper sticker.

Reform are not far right just because you dislike them. Wanting lower immigration, border control and cheaper energy is not fascism.

Words mean things. Use them properly.

a gif is not an argument.

The husband is a reform councillor. If a spouse chooses to stand by that, and support it - because being a councillor requires a lot of sacrifices - then she at best tolerates his views, more likely supports them (because it's a hell of a sacrifice to make if you don't)

Of course you can end your therapy but I personally find it absurd to end something that is working for you, benefitting you, and you’ve invested a lot of time and money into. A massive part of therapy is about the therapeutic relationship. If you end your therapy you are only harming yourself and your mental health for the sake of the fact you have different political opinions to someone. As others have said it is ridiculous as refusing to be treated by your doctor, dentist, nurse etc because your political values don’t align. It’s irrelevant to the relationship you have with your therapist.

Therapists are ten a penny.
You could easily find a non Reform one.

If she was a new therapist to you, I'd say you should just leave as trust and respect is so essental in a patient therapist relationship. Trust is not always driven entirely by logic and in a therapeutic relationship this is fine , particularly in the early days.

Both therpist and patient are entitled to think it won't work for whatever reaaon. . But since you say you have liked her and got on with her for a year, I would actually raise it with her and explain how you are having issues of trust with because of this. It is an opportunity to be honest with someone who you say you have been working well with . See how that conversation goes but be prepared to leave if she is not able to reassure you. Again it isn't always going to be about logic but whether you believe any reassurances and can go back to respecting and trusting her in the therapeutic space.