AIBU to want one child-free weekend after two extra weeks together

[Claudiaas]

My boyfriend has a 5 year old DSS. DSS stays with us every weekend and a few days in the week.

in July his mum is going on holiday for two weeks so we will have him for 2 weeks. She’s offered to have DSS the weekend she comes back (on “our” week) as we’ll have had him extra. She never usually has him at the weekend

me and my boyfriend got into an argument last night because he said he wanted to keep DSS for the weekend so we could go to a caravan. I said we could arrange that for any other weekend as we always have him, and this is a rare child free weekend we could do something together.

he said I was selfish, and that he was “being deprived” of time with his child. I said we can do any weekend, or you can go that weekend? He said I needed to be there because it’s “normal” to spend time as a 3.

my point is that we never have a weekend just us and it would be nice to do something just us - we’d already have had DSS for an extended amount of time, which is fine

aibu?

What you on about? Why you making massive generalisations? Plenty of parents do. In this case the mum has just had 2 weeks child free time.

She isn’t a parent. Or a step- parent. Sh has a boyforiend with a child. I don’t think they even live together !

And II, and all the parents I know, if offered a child-free weekend that entailed no risk k, emotionally or otherwise, to our kids would bite the hand off the offeree!

The main thing here is the fact that hes not happy with you going out and spending time with your friends and nd family. He’s controlling. Red flag. PP have advised you to plan to end it if you were my child I’d be giving you the same advice

The child’s mother certainly seems to be managing child free time…

Why can’t u all go to caravan within the 2 weeks DSS mum is on 2 week holiday??? I don’t think u are asking too much and sound like you are good to step son.

does DSS mum take him on hols with her too, at some point? You and boyfriend ever go away also without DSS, as mum does?

I think bf is taking the piss re: you always having to be there when DSS is at yours! No u don’t! Pls don’t neglect your own family cause your bf can’t have 1 day alone with his son. U aren’t the boys mum, u can do as u please, he needs to be the main parent. Do you do much for DSS when hes with u?

The mum is going holiday for 2 weeks without her son! So why should op not get a free weekend if the mum is having 2 weeks???

Yeah this is a problem. Why cant he see his child himself? How much of the grunt work are you doing?

Don't change DPbto DH

The mum is literally getting 2 week holiday without her DS. She has asked to have him for the weekend after that. The OPs DP has refused this.