MIL let DD aged 5 get sunburned but DH thinks we should just be grateful she had her and gave her a nice time.

[Sophiehoney]

I AM grateful MIL had her and she had a nice time.

HOWEVER, she's been at MIL's all day, playing in the paddling pool with her cousins and she's come home with sunburn all over her shoulders, neck, top of her legs, and all down her back and is in pain.

I put suncream on her before she went there, and when we dropped her off, I told MIL there was a bottle in her bag and MIL said don't worry, I've got loads here.

But she obviously hasn't topped it back up and DD is burnt.

All I want to do is WhatsApp her a picture and say thank you so much, she had a great time but a reminder that she must wear suncream when she's out in the sun and in a swimming costume.

DH says no, it will just make her feel bad and make us seem ungrateful and what's done is done now, we'll make sure we remind her more frequently next time.

I think a picture now will have more of an effect and she will remember next time because she obviously didn't listen to my reminder this time.

I would be really pissed off too, but as others have said she should have been in a rash vest. Nest thing to help prevent sun burn. I would be mentioning it to mother in law though in case it happens in future.

I’m sure I saw on the news that skin cancer is now the most common cancer in the UK 🤷‍♀️

OP has said the swimming was spontaneous. You can’t pack a rash vest for something you didn’t know was happening.

Is she very fair skinned? Even adults can misjudged how much sun cream they need on themselves particularly if it is the first time out in the sun that year, so i wouldn't get too upset over a single incident. What spf did she have on?

I’d be furious. I’m very particular about sun cream/protection, I lost my sibling to skin cancer at a young age. I don’t think many people take the risks seriously enough in the UK.

But don’t send the passive aggressive message. I would ask DH to mention that you were both concerned DD was burnt, and you really want to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

i find Ultrasun a good once a day one. More expensive, but it doesn’t need applied so frequently and it’s served me well in some very hot holidays (I’m very pale and can start to burn in 10 minutes in hot sun).

Expecting a young child to prevent sunburn.

Teaching responsibilities is not the same as allowing them to get hurt.

The fact you think it is ok for a young child to get sunburn, and that you think it is their fault, is all I need to know about you.

Are they in the UK?
The sun is not strong if they are!

It’s May! 🤦🏻‍♀️
Shes possibly in the UK!!
God knows what people are going to do if they ever go abroad in July & August if they’re this dramatic about the crappy weather in the UK 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

You must be trolling.

It was 28°c today where I am, from the look of the adults in the Co-Op this evening, it definitely was enough to get very burnt.

Hope your daughter is OK @Sophiehoney

If she's in a lot of pain then Calpol will help, or children's ibuprofen is even better.

WildMauveReader · Today 16:44
If your child is in pain then your mil feelings take second place. Send the message.

It's not about the pain. It's about the fact that we've known for years that one single episode of sunburn as a child can lead to skin cancer in the future. I'm amazed how cavalier Northern Europeans are about the dangers...we in the Antipodes have been putting our school kids in hats, have sunsails in the playgrounds, compulsory sunscreen, for eons. My DC are in their late 40s now, and wore a hat and sunscreen every single day. Even then, my DD has had a solar keratosis removed from her eyebrow. Give MIL a bloody good lecture about her carelessness in regard to her DGC's health.

Not unreasonable that’s neglect.

30c if my weather app is to believed. Definitely hot enough to burn.

Its also entirely possible your MIL did put cream on her but her own cream which may have been years old and out of date. So many people don't realise they become far less effective over time.

Might be better to ask if she reapplied and if yes, how often and what cream she used. Then you can have the appropriate conversation about expiry, reapplication etc.

@LeopardPants What ridiculous logic (or lack of) is this? We all burned to a crisp and idiots pay to get burned to a crisp in salons, so your daughter can too?

It's ridiculous logic because it's not what I said. My stance is that tanning is for twats, deliberately getting sun burned is for twats, and everyone who goes outside to lie on the ground every time it's sunny is a twat.

My perspective is that no one needs to lose their shit, or lose any sleep, over a single instance of sunburn. As I already said, there are other things that are far more harmful such as twats who idle their cars in supermarket car parks, but no one says anything about that.

The correct course of action is to ensure that sun cream is always applied in future and certainly not to worry about it.

Idc if it’s harsh, I wouldn’t leave my child with someone who didn’t know they have to reapply sunscreen to a child. It’s not like it’s new info. A little burn where you’ve missed a bit is one thing, but if she’s come back with a lot of burn that’s not great.

Get your husband to send the photo!! saying please Mum next time you have daughter Please keep applying sunscreen she’s fairer than we thought…. I don’t see a problem with sending that

message her thank you but dd is quite badly sunburnt, did she reapply? Old suncreams can go off. Important she knows for next time.

Whether the chance is low or not is not the point, there is still a chance and you just never know. Melanoma is no joke and isn't something to be blasé about.

My husband's family were never very attentive with this sort of thing when he was a child and he developed melanoma aged 29.

Sorry but I’m on the side of cover it up to prevent burning.

I’ve had 3 moles removed though and an aunt who had skin cancer. We have villa holidays and I wouldn’t even consider a ‘swimsuit’ for anything other than indoor pool.

I like to use a sunbed now and again.

Dont send the pic. Speak face to face.

I would be furious! And I’d send photos. You cant let a 5 year old play in the garden all day with no sun cream and a pair of knickers! She sounds very irresponsible

Have a conversation with your MIL. Ask whether she applied any suncream and if so, how many times. Then point out your DD needs more protection than that.

The weather is not crappy actually. We do get good weather. Especially down south.

Are you aware that skin cancer rates rose after suncreams were introduced?