AIBU to keep my Monday off rather than swap for a new parent?

[Orangeducks]

I have 3 children 10, 8 and 4. When my eldest was born, I reduced my hours at work to 4 days which worked well. Several other parents have done the same. My colleague is returning to work from mat leave and has been offered a day off but its a Wednesday as they can't cover any other day (customer facing) and she was complaining how other members of staff have had the more desirable Mon/Fri off for many years and they should give that up for new parents. She wasn't talking directly to me but I felt she was annoyed I wouldn't give up my Monday off because my children are 'grown up'. I feel that I have built my life around a Monday off and have so much going on in the week running around after my kids that I still need it. Moreover I have no plans to return to full time as I enjoy the work/life balance and we make financial sacrifices to allow this and I am on a permanent 4 day contract.
Am I being unreasonable to not give up my day for her?

Me? I'd prefer the Wednesday off in some ways - midweek break! 😂

None of your business wgat she wants. Don't let her bully you.

Yep, this

Just ignore and enjoy your Mondays!

I know several people who opted for a Wednesday as it broke the week up and they didn’t spend it doing housework. Monday’s or Friday’s are great for creating long weekends to go away but a Wednesday is just as good.

Dont swap.

She will probably think you should retire once the kids are 18 because you won't need the money and it frees up jobs for people with young children (who she will not be swapping her day off with, I'm certain).

May be give her 6 months until her baby is abit older. Remember whatever you give for the sake of God more reward will follow

YRNBU. I always loved having a Wednesday off. Only had to work 2 days before having a break

I'm another who had Wednesday off, it actually worked better for me than monday/friday. It was dedicated to admin and chores inside and outside the house, I then felt we had a proper "weekend"
Don't feel pressured into changing your pattern, some new parents sometimes feel a little entitled they get over this eventually or when baby number 2 arrives lol.

You are not being unreasonable at all. Don’t start that game of allowing her to believe that ‘new parent’ trumps all. What will happen, for example , if she wants specific holidays and they’re already taken? If she stays in her role long enough someone will move on allowing her to move up in the choosing days off pecking order.

She sounds entitled. Do not indulge her, she will only get worse.

If I had a Monday or Friday off, no way would I give it up. If the manager decides to review everyone’s days and this changes, then that’s upto them. But no responsibility for you to give up your day that works for you.

Why are you even making this your problem. Did she point at you and say all of this to? Did she point at you and ask you to swap? If not, then stop looking for problems and move on.
you have a 4 year old, that’s not grown up. I have a 4yo and if someone said that around me, it would not even register that they meant me as I do not have grown up children. And if she did say that to me I would tell her to go to hr and that it is not to be made my issue.

She can allude all she likes! Basically, she wants things changed to suit her, never mind if it doesn't suit you!

I would be happy with a wed off, mid week break and don't lose bank holidays.

She's lucky enough she has a part-time job with a day off a week. If it's not suitable, she's free to look elsewhere. That is not your problem. You are in a job you like, and that works for you.

I have kids, but people who play the "I have children" card to get away with things or claim special circumstances piss me off. EVERYONE has a life. You owe her nothing.

I do agree with people, I much prefer Wednesdays off 😂 She's nuts.

It’s not your responsibility

YANBU I actually found the Wednesday a much better day off when my children were small.

When I had DD, part time hours had just become a thing, 20 years ago. I worked Mon-Thur 12.30-5.15pm, then when she started school I worked 9.30am-2.15pm. Everyone else worked full time. Then there was a merger, a pregnancy in our department & on return new mum decided she wanted same days & hours as me. When she got turned down she went to HR. She stopped talking to me & eventually she got pushed out/left. Another merge, I upped my hours over 5 days & after 2 years I got bullied out by my 2 managers. Moral of story: keep your head down, do as you're not told, don't make waves & don't stick up for yourself. I'd seen what they did to my ex colleague so I saw it coming.

And, on bank holiday weeks, only works 3 days in total!
I would consider swapping if there was a good reason, eg her family could only babysit certain days/her nursery only had availibility certain days. Otherwise, I don't see why it makes a difference if her kids are older or younger, OP. For all she knows, your children could have additional needs meaning childcare organisation is more difficult.

Stick to your guns and don't budge.
You owe her nothing. She is not your problem.

I don't think this is a problem for Mothers to solve though.

I used to work in a call center type job and my day off was friday. Some of my colleagues with children tried to guilt me into swapping but I stuck to my friday. I had been there longer and its not for newer staff to dictate what more established members should do. I was also guilted because I "had no children". Your decision to have kids was yours and you are subsidized by my taxes. So tough titty.

Are you actually unclear as to whether or not the number of days you choose to work has got anything to do with her? Really? I just don’t buy it…