AIBU to keep my Monday off rather than swap for a new parent?

[Orangeducks]

I have 3 children 10, 8 and 4. When my eldest was born, I reduced my hours at work to 4 days which worked well. Several other parents have done the same. My colleague is returning to work from mat leave and has been offered a day off but its a Wednesday as they can't cover any other day (customer facing) and she was complaining how other members of staff have had the more desirable Mon/Fri off for many years and they should give that up for new parents. She wasn't talking directly to me but I felt she was annoyed I wouldn't give up my Monday off because my children are 'grown up'. I feel that I have built my life around a Monday off and have so much going on in the week running around after my kids that I still need it. Moreover I have no plans to return to full time as I enjoy the work/life balance and we make financial sacrifices to allow this and I am on a permanent 4 day contract.
Am I being unreasonable to not give up my day for her?

She's a cf.. A woman my mate works with came back from maternity leave with a list of demands. They shook their heads. 3 weeks later she announced she was pregnant again and would be going on maternity again soon anyway..
Likely back with more demands at a later date..

Why are you giving this a second's consideration? It's a pity she's not happy but that is not your problem to solve.

trying to guilt trip you...entitled mare...deep breath and say NO x

YANBU, I'm afraid it's just tough shit for your colleague.

Calling your children 'grown up' is just ridiculous.

This isn’t you hogging school hours when you no longer need it. You have a 4 day working week. She is also choosing to have a 4 day working week. However she needs to work around what is available to suit business needs. As a parent, I can’t see why Monday/Friday has more importance than Tuesday through Thursday.

I have Wednesday off and really like it day to day, sometime it would be handy to have the longer weekend and in bank hol weekends it would be nice to have Fridays but Weds works well. Can get a midweek grocery shop and go to the market if I want as it’s market day.

I have a 10, 8 and 5 year old and do compressed hours to allow Mondays off, I used to do it to save on childcare before my children had funded hours/were at school. Like you say I feel like I need a day off after the weekend just to get stuff done, the weekend is taken up with taking children to activities and partys. I do the housework and other jobs I can't get done at the weekend. Not only this because I'm ft I get the Monday bank holidays back in TOIL and can used them whenever I like, so it can be an extra 6 days of leave to use. There's 0 chance I'd give up my setup that has worked for many years because someone else wanted it. Say no!

You get a bank holiday allowance if you work part time. It's much better to have Mondays off because you can use that allowance when you want. If you work Mondays you have to use it on the actual bank holidays and as this is pro rata it will reduce your annual leave entitlement. Disclaimer- This is how it should be done, I have come across a few companies who do not follow the rules.

She gets a mid week break + bank holiday and Good Friday. I bet she’ll appreciate it once she’s in

I had weds off for about a year. Worked quite well tbh as never had to be organised for more than 2 days off at a time… never had to be without DC for more than 2 days either! I have had Fridays off for about 12 years now tho!

You haven’t been asked to do anything, so there is nothing to be unreasonable about.

I used to have Wednesday and loved it! It felt like I was on semi holiday all the time 🤣

I wouldn't give up my Mondays,
Schools have so many Mondays off, more Mondays than I'd get bank holidays.

My kids do homework & various kids clubs on Mondays too.

Not at all unreasonable not to swap or never go back to 5 days.

Lots of people think Monday or Friday are the 'premium' days off it's debatable BUT why does she think new parents should have them? What does she think makes them more important to new parents?

(she's nuts, but just curious what she thinks🤣)

i work full time in 4 days but drop back to my original part time hours in school holidays, so am off on a Wednesday (off a Friday generally) my kids are 20 and 16. I offered to go full time in school holidays when I was promoted but my boss said not needed - only stipulation is if I was needed or had something I needed the extra day to finish then I do that. Works well for me and not sure I officially I want to give up my 12 weeks of 3 days per year

Of course it's not unreasonable. Nobody is obliged to organize their lives around her convenience.

She’s BU. When you said it was because your kids were grown up I thought you were going to say they were teenagers! Keep the day as long as it suits you.

No, employees already have their non working days, she just needs to take what's currently available. No consultation needed. First come first served.

You get the BH off the same as everyone else, and then - certainly in any organisation I've worked for - you get the BH leave hours added to your leave allowance to take whenever you want. Perfect.

I love my Mondays off and wouldn’t give them up without a fight. I give my friend a lift somewhere on a Monday as she doesn’t have access to the family car in that day (it’s to do yoga together but work don’t need to know this!) so I always just say I help a friend with an appointment in a Monday and can’t let her down if anybody questions me on this.

My mil went down to three days when she had my dh. She still works three days.

Sure it sucks for new parents trying to get the same balance when they can’t but it’s just one of those things.

At least your fellow staff member is getting the 1 day even if it’s not the one she wanted.

No, not at all OP. If she couldn't have any day off at all, then yeah, maybe it would be good for someone who has had years of benefit to give it up for a new mum, but she's been offered a regular day and will just have to make it work.

Wednesday’s good as it breaks the working week. I can see the like for Monday and Friday, ahead of can ask to swap if someone leaves / returns to full time … it shouldn’t be expected, she’s being entitled, HR should say Wednesday or 5 days

Don't give up your Mondays. It's very cheeky of her to try and guilt you into doing so it's nothing to do with you. She has to make her own arrangements. She can have Wednesday!

This

Sucks to be her huh

It also not up to part timers to increase their hours so she can get the time off she wants

She sounds like an entitled pain in the arse