AIBU to keep my Monday off rather than swap for a new parent?

[Orangeducks]

I have 3 children 10, 8 and 4. When my eldest was born, I reduced my hours at work to 4 days which worked well. Several other parents have done the same. My colleague is returning to work from mat leave and has been offered a day off but its a Wednesday as they can't cover any other day (customer facing) and she was complaining how other members of staff have had the more desirable Mon/Fri off for many years and they should give that up for new parents. She wasn't talking directly to me but I felt she was annoyed I wouldn't give up my Monday off because my children are 'grown up'. I feel that I have built my life around a Monday off and have so much going on in the week running around after my kids that I still need it. Moreover I have no plans to return to full time as I enjoy the work/life balance and we make financial sacrifices to allow this and I am on a permanent 4 day contract.
Am I being unreasonable to not give up my day for her?

Keep your day. It’s your established routine and you’ve built your schedule around it. She is starting out and can build hers around Wednesday. Wednesday off sounds pretty good to me.

Why do you give a shit what she alluded to, though?

If you don’t want to work full time, then don’t. Why would that be unreasonable? Why do you need strangers on the internet to tell you it’s okay? It’s nothing to do with anyone else. If we all went ‘yes, it’s completely unreasonable, you should work full time’ would you genuinely doubt yourself, rearrange your life and do it?

The level of self doubt and need for external validation some people on here seem to have is shocking.

I did lol at 4 being grown up. You stick to what works for you as a family. She only has one child to juggle.

Also … part time working is the right of all. Not just for mothers of small children. People can want to work pt for all kinds of reasons. So to suggest you should go back full time because kids are older is ridiculous.

You can change it. Just click on the option you want.

YANBU, as long as your employer isn’t doing anything illegal or immoral the details of your contract of employment are nobody else’s business! Neither is what you do on your non-working day. Your colleague is being completely unreasonable. Anyone is able to apply for or request a different working pattern including people who don’t have children, have older children, have caring responsibilities or just want to have an extra day to do what they want.

She also alluded to the fact that people who were 4 days with older children should return to full time to free up others to have those days but again, I dont want to be full time.

See, at this point I'd have laughed out loud and said, 'Stop it Sarah, you are embarassing yourself now! You are making an argument for the fact that part time workers are selfish for not returning to work full time because you want them to and it suits you better. That's a cringe worthy level of entitlement'.

With that approach she was hardly going to charm you into making a change was she? YANBU and non of her business how many days you chose to work, whether you have kids or not, let alone if she deems them old! Wednesday is a good day to have off anyway, breaks up the week!

There's no chance I'd give up my Mondays for her. Brutal no...and I'm being honest.
Life rarely chucks a gem like this in your path, you might never get such a good arrangement again.
I'd love it if it were possible for her to have Monday off as well...but not at my expense.

My kids are 17 and 14. I barely see them. They definitely don’t need me. But I’m still only working 4 days. It’s lovely. Your colleague would think I am terribly selfish. 😃

I started with Tuesdays and Fridays and I felt the same. Then I went back Tuesdays and DH took Tuesdays off. It worked really well.
Now they are older I really appreciate a longer weekend actually. Not so much going away/packing for Cub camp when they are babies, you just want a rest!

Well you do, as you get it given to you as extra leave. It’s one of the benefits of having a Monday off.

Definitely keep your Mondays! I am also working 4 days, with “grown up children” who are 4 and 7 🤣 I have a Wednesday off as the whole team has to be present on Mondays. That seems very entitled of your colleague!!

Mark my words, she is going to be one of THOSE parents who wants priority on every single Christmas, public and school holiday date from now on too.

I'd be checking what the policy is now to make sure it is fair to everyone.

Is your workplace open over christmas ?
She sounds the type to demand all christmas off because she has a child. And wanting all the school holidays.

Your contract is none of her business. Do not change your non-working day for her. If she keeps harassing people about their non-working day and making snide comments I'd be thinking about having a word with your line manager or HR.

This much better for a 1yr old to have a day off on a Wednesday nurseries are manic on Wednesdays.

Indeed it is lovely but with older children I would caution you maybe doing 5 days work in 4 and your pension may not thank you

That depends how leave is calculated.

When I worked 4 days p/w, I had bank holidays added to total holiday entitlement and then the total multiplied by 0.8. I then had to take bank holidays out of my leave. This is quite common, and 'fair' in that I had the right number of holidays pro rata - but it meant all 8 bank holidays were taken from leave, but I was only credited 6.4 days, leaving me fewer days of my choosing.

Weds off was my favourite pt pattern. You only need to survive 2 days/food prep. Weds good day for apts and errands.

Not unless you want too. If you did would you get Weds off and the Mon every bank holiday though?

People I know who have Wednesdays off love it! Also not your problem. Also 3 kids in primary school is far more of a juggle than one in nursery!

Wednesday is much better especially with young kids, she won’t have to work more than 2 days in a row. I used to have Wednesday off which has recently been swapped for a Friday and I much preferred Wednesday off.

Your children are hardly grown up! I’d argue you need the Monday more to start off their school week. Small babies are much more flexible this way.

I think she was really rude to say this. I want to go to 4 days but there are no spaces at my workplace for dropping a day so I can’t. I’m not blaming my colleagues who work 4 days a week though!

I loved having a Wednesday off. As others have said, never working more than 2 days is great.

OPs employer should be adding a pro rata amount of leave as she’s still legally entitled to the time for bank holidays.