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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to keep my Monday off rather than swap for a new parent?

179 replies

Orangeducks · 22/05/2026 16:26

I have 3 children 10, 8 and 4. When my eldest was born, I reduced my hours at work to 4 days which worked well. Several other parents have done the same. My colleague is returning to work from mat leave and has been offered a day off but its a Wednesday as they can't cover any other day (customer facing) and she was complaining how other members of staff have had the more desirable Mon/Fri off for many years and they should give that up for new parents. She wasn't talking directly to me but I felt she was annoyed I wouldn't give up my Monday off because my children are 'grown up'. I feel that I have built my life around a Monday off and have so much going on in the week running around after my kids that I still need it. Moreover I have no plans to return to full time as I enjoy the work/life balance and we make financial sacrifices to allow this and I am on a permanent 4 day contract.
Am I being unreasonable to not give up my day for her?

OP posts:
NotTheMrMenAgain · 22/05/2026 18:53

If you work in a role where you get Bank holidays off, bear in mind that as a part-timer who works on Mondays it’s a bad deal! You will lose annual leave for each Bank Holiday to make up the difference between the pro-rata hours you’re entitled to for each bank holiday and the rest of the full working day. It takes a chunk out of your annual leave balance, especially when Easter falls twice during the same 12 month period.

FlipFlopZebra · 22/05/2026 18:54

Not unreasonable but as someone with a two year old and Mondays off I sometimes wish I had Wednesday 😆 Saturday to Monday with her is full on!! Your colleague may actually end up enjoying having a midweek day off

gabsdot45 · 22/05/2026 18:55

I have Wednesday off and it's great. It breaks the week up. This week I had to change my day off to Friday and I was exhausted today after working 4 days in a row . ( Poor me) I get loads more done on Wednesday

Viviennemary · 22/05/2026 19:05

Monday is a good day to have off. Don't give it up if it doesn't suit you. But a break in the middle of the week is good too.

BoldNavySloth · 22/05/2026 19:07

Of course not while I sympathise with her, a Wednesday is still a good day and it's a fixed day too. Don't feel bad, I don't see how having a Monday off helps with childcare anyway.

Alleycat1 · 22/05/2026 19:09

I worked a four day week in England and chose Thursday as my day off because statistically it enjoys the best weather.

RedToothBrush · 22/05/2026 19:09

You will probably have child care and after school activities booked based on your day off.

Of course she can fuck off.

WhereYouLeftIt · 22/05/2026 19:10

Orangeducks · 22/05/2026 16:42

Thanks everyone, I was just checking whether it was unreasonable that I have had one of the most desirable day off for a long time and whether I should let her have it but I feel that it just my established working pattern and I have built my family life around it. She also alluded to the fact that people who were 4 days with older children should return to full time to free up others to have those days but again, I dont want to be full time. We are happy with my 4 days and even when my children are older, I dont want to return to full time. Is thay unreasonable?

So, she wants everyone at her place of work to dance to her tune.

What an entitled little madam she is! I have a vision of Violet Elizabeth Bott, stamping her feet and telling everyone that she'll 'thcream and thcream and thcream until I'm thick'.

I'd either ignore or roll my eyes at her. I definitely would not swap to allow her to get Monday off. And I'd laugh in her face about working 5 days not 4. I mean - who died and made her God?

TheRealWhacker · 22/05/2026 19:11

NotTheMrMenAgain · 22/05/2026 18:53

If you work in a role where you get Bank holidays off, bear in mind that as a part-timer who works on Mondays it’s a bad deal! You will lose annual leave for each Bank Holiday to make up the difference between the pro-rata hours you’re entitled to for each bank holiday and the rest of the full working day. It takes a chunk out of your annual leave balance, especially when Easter falls twice during the same 12 month period.

Not a bad deal for me, you still get the same number of days off overall regardless of which day of the week you work. I love the weeks where there’s a bank holiday on a Monday, it means I only work two days (or 3 if you’re 4 days a week) - bliss!

Hankunamatata · 22/05/2026 19:11

Its her hard luck. Shes just whining because you have somehting she wants. Its tough. Your work pattern is establish.

HoraceCope · 22/05/2026 19:13

i work with the same cry baby
although being a parent has nothing to do with it

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 22/05/2026 19:13

Well she’s off to a flying start for parental entitlement isn’t she? Only just become a parent and already whingeing that she should be a special case.

HoraceCope · 22/05/2026 19:13

Alleycat1 · 22/05/2026 19:09

I worked a four day week in England and chose Thursday as my day off because statistically it enjoys the best weather.

i found that!

Datgal · 22/05/2026 19:15

NotSmallButFunSize · 22/05/2026 17:09

I have Mondays off, no way would I change it.

Although you don't get the "extra" days off for bank hols, you usually end up in "credit" for them if your company is closed - you still get a bank holiday entitlement and as usually the other ones never add up to what you get given, you end up with bonus holiday days to use whenever you want!

Def don't tell her that though ha ha!

Edited

Exactly this! I have Mondays off I wouldn't give up. I still get the BH entitlement to use when I want, which means pretty much an extra week off to use when I want. It's great 😃

RedToothBrush · 22/05/2026 19:16

Orangeducks · 22/05/2026 16:42

Thanks everyone, I was just checking whether it was unreasonable that I have had one of the most desirable day off for a long time and whether I should let her have it but I feel that it just my established working pattern and I have built my family life around it. She also alluded to the fact that people who were 4 days with older children should return to full time to free up others to have those days but again, I dont want to be full time. We are happy with my 4 days and even when my children are older, I dont want to return to full time. Is thay unreasonable?

I would find it hard to resist not saying "well you know, it'll be interesting to see how you feel about working five days and the logistics of changing your day off when you've got three kids"

Ohgoose · 22/05/2026 19:21

We have to wait for a Monday or Friday NWD at our place as they’re the most popular. One of my colleagues had to wait years for people to leave to get his.

Why does having a baby mean she needs a Monday off? Don’t budge OP.

BeanMeUp · 22/05/2026 19:22

Ultimately, if she's not happy, she can find a job elsewhere with hours that do suit her.

It's what I did when mine started school, and I couldn't get the flexibility I needed because the people who were on the early shift (finishing at 2:30, ideal for school pick up) were unwilling to change their hours, despite them not needing to do a school run for the previous 30 years...

They've asked me if I'll return 4 times since I left. It's like an annual event now!

Thisisit26 · 22/05/2026 19:24

Orangeducks · 22/05/2026 16:26

I have 3 children 10, 8 and 4. When my eldest was born, I reduced my hours at work to 4 days which worked well. Several other parents have done the same. My colleague is returning to work from mat leave and has been offered a day off but its a Wednesday as they can't cover any other day (customer facing) and she was complaining how other members of staff have had the more desirable Mon/Fri off for many years and they should give that up for new parents. She wasn't talking directly to me but I felt she was annoyed I wouldn't give up my Monday off because my children are 'grown up'. I feel that I have built my life around a Monday off and have so much going on in the week running around after my kids that I still need it. Moreover I have no plans to return to full time as I enjoy the work/life balance and we make financial sacrifices to allow this and I am on a permanent 4 day contract.
Am I being unreasonable to not give up my day for her?

Your youngest is 4!!! You have young children and one very young child , you are nowhere near your kids being grown up 😂. Also you have 3, it’s much harder to balance multiple kids vs one . Honestly op keep your day off . I’ve much older kids but had them youngish , I find the preteen , teen years exhausting.

Thisisit26 · 22/05/2026 19:25

Also older kids are not “easier “ than babies! 😂 especially when you have a few

Amirina · 22/05/2026 19:28

Mondays are the day no one wants off in our office! Having any other day off rather than Mondays means you can use your BH allowance more flexibly. I'd pick Weds off in preference - in fact I did.

YANBU, your day is your day.

OrangeMochaFrappuccino · 22/05/2026 19:29

10, 8 and 4 is not grown up, I wouldn’t swap just because she thought that.
That said, I used to have Mondays off but then we had to have a restructure which resulted in me having Wednesdays off instead. I loved it, much better day off. The don’t call Wednesday the peak of the week for nothing.

Greenwitchart · 22/05/2026 19:37

She is being rude and entitled.

You have said no and she should accept that and move on.

PeachySmile2 · 22/05/2026 19:37

First come, first served. I’m returning in 2027 from Mat leave - 3 days a week. I’d like Friday and Monday off but there are so many people with Fridays off already, I know it won’t be allowed. I will have to settle for a Monday and Tuesday. Why should I ask anyone to give up their Friday for me?? You are not being unfair so please don’t feel guilty.

Geepee71 · 22/05/2026 19:39

You are not unreasonable
She should have had children years ago if she wanted different non-working days!

I would not give up a non working Monday nor Friday

ilovesooty · 22/05/2026 19:41

Orangeducks · 22/05/2026 16:42

Thanks everyone, I was just checking whether it was unreasonable that I have had one of the most desirable day off for a long time and whether I should let her have it but I feel that it just my established working pattern and I have built my family life around it. She also alluded to the fact that people who were 4 days with older children should return to full time to free up others to have those days but again, I dont want to be full time. We are happy with my 4 days and even when my children are older, I dont want to return to full time. Is thay unreasonable?

I'm not sure if I could put up with her whining for any length of time. She either accepts what's on offer or finds another job. Your working days are no business of hers.