AIBU to keep my Monday off rather than swap for a new parent?

[Orangeducks]

I have 3 children 10, 8 and 4. When my eldest was born, I reduced my hours at work to 4 days which worked well. Several other parents have done the same. My colleague is returning to work from mat leave and has been offered a day off but its a Wednesday as they can't cover any other day (customer facing) and she was complaining how other members of staff have had the more desirable Mon/Fri off for many years and they should give that up for new parents. She wasn't talking directly to me but I felt she was annoyed I wouldn't give up my Monday off because my children are 'grown up'. I feel that I have built my life around a Monday off and have so much going on in the week running around after my kids that I still need it. Moreover I have no plans to return to full time as I enjoy the work/life balance and we make financial sacrifices to allow this and I am on a permanent 4 day contract.
Am I being unreasonable to not give up my day for her?

Who does she think she is!!!! Nooo keep it 😀

I used to have a Thursday off. I loved it. 3 days at work, one off for chores once kids were grown then one day and it's the weekend!

YANBU. Though I used to have Thursday's off and loved it.

I don’t think Monday is the most desirable day off, but as a new mum she may be struggling with childcare on Mondays. I don’t think you should change your work pattern but I’d have a lot of empathy for someone navigating work and childcare for the first time.

It’s not actually a ‘day-off’ though, but a non-working day for you.

Don't big up Wednesday too much or she'll ask why you won't swap!

I'd keep your head down frankly - it really isn't any of your concern. You have your week set up to cater to the needs of 3 children and your partner. It wouldn't necessarily be easy to effect the swapping around.
The best she can do if ask for first refusal if anyone does which to swap.
Oh and just to make clear - you are not being unreasonable.

She thinks other people should feel obliged to return to full-time hours so she can take her pick of working the hours/days that she wants? 😂

I’d remind her that it’s not compulsory to stay with her current employer and that other jobs are available. She’s welcome to go and find one that suits her preferences if this one doesn’t.

Also, your children are still very young!

Even if I felt the tiniest bit inclined to consider swapping, her attitude would soon cure me of that.

I always thought that Tuesday would be the best day to take off if you do 4 days over a typical working week - that way you have a 4 day break at every bank holiday.

Tbh if someone said that I should work 5 days so they could work 4 - which is basically what she said - I'd have laughed out loud.
Followed by, "Oh, you're actually serious?!"

Yanbu but ime, different days suit different people for a variety of reasons.
Perhaps this is something for management to address in the form of a consultation?
That would seem fair to me.

If I was you I wouldn’t change my day off if I had no children or if my children were adults. Sure she’ll get over it.

While I personally disagree that Wednesday off is great, no way I’d be giving up my arrangements or expecting anyone else to do so.

It's all very easy to tell others how they should live their lives, I'm sure she would be just as aggreable in the reverse position!

That’s her problem not yours, if you like a Monday off don’t give it up if you don’t want to, you could accommodate her then she leaves and your stuck with a day you don’t want.

Not unreasonable at all, I've worked 3.5 days/week for years, even pre DC, with no plans to work full time.

While I don't think the OP is unreasonable, you saying she should have had children years ago is actually pretty stupid.

I think a Wednesday off has lots of positives!

Never more than 2 days at work is a good one, plus getting the bank holidays too

She sounds a little rude - eg people with older children should give it up - I wouldn’t classify your children as old.

Stick to what works for you - she’ll probably want first options at Christmas because she has a young child.

enjoy your Monday off ( I have Mondays off and love not going to work after a leisurely weekend plus I get to use the bank holiday Monday allowance elsewhere)

Its not your problem OP you have your own family life to think about.

If you swapped because you have older kids and then had another baby would you have the right to then demand she changes her day off,she’s a cheeky cow!

I have Mondays off, no way would I change it.

Although you don't get the "extra" days off for bank hols, you usually end up in "credit" for them if your company is closed - you still get a bank holiday entitlement and as usually the other ones never add up to what you get given, you end up with bonus holiday days to use whenever you want!

Def don't tell her that though ha ha!

I have tue and wed off. Love it. Not a hope in hell would I change it. Your kids are still quite young and colleague doesn’t know your childcare arrangements etc cf in my opinion

Wednesday is a much better day off when returning. She will soon realise that.
She will also realise that the world doesn't revolve around her.

I agree with you on not swapping days and also keeping to 4 days. But I also kind of agree with the fact that parents who go part time when they have kids don’t then go back to full time working making mothers who have children later on then not be able to go go part time because there might not be cover at work.

Thats why I think roles that are changed to less days should have a periodic review and not be a permanent change.

As an aside, and missing the point a bit - get your Christmas leave booked early or she’ll be wanting everyone to give that up for ‘people with young children..’

I accidently hit unreasonable! But you aren't. Keep your day off. Mines on Wednesday but I can see the appeal of a Monday too.